HELLO, I LIVE IN BARRACKS 3418,
NO RENT TO PAY SO SOME SAY IT'S GREAT.

THE BARRACKS IS LOCATED WAY OUT ON ALLEN DRIVE,
I THINK IT TAKES A TWELVE PACK A DAY JUST TO SURVIVE.

DOWN THE HALL IS THE GUYS BATHROOM,
IT USUALLY SMELLS LIKE SOME ANCIENT TOMB.

IF YOU NEED TO TAKE A SHIT IT HAS FOUR SIT DOWN STALLS,
BUT IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY USE DWIGHT'S HE MAY CUT OFF YOUR BALLS.

DARREN LIVES HERE ALSO AND HE REALLY THINKS HE'S SOME KIND OF JOCK,
UNTIL HE SLIPPED IN THE SHOWER AND GENE GAVE HIM 10 INCHES OF COCK.

ALOT OF OLDER MEN COME UP HERE TO GET THEMSELVES CLEAN,
NOW DARREN'S USUALLY WAITING HOURS ON THAT SAME GUY GENE.

PAST DARREN'S ROOM LIVES A GUY NAMED DON,
I WORK WITH HIS BROTHER, HIS NAME IS RON.

NOW DON'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT AND STANDS ABOUT SIX FOOT EIGHT,
IF WE COULD PAINT HIM PURPLE HE'D LOOK JUST LIKE GRAPE APE.

NEXT DOOR TO DON IS OUR MAN ROCKY,
GIVE HIM A BUD AND THE FUCKER GETS COCKY.

ROCKY'S GOT HIM A GIRLFRIEND WHO SURE AIN'T NO HOE,
BUT HE'LL BE CHECKING YOUR CROTCH SO YOU BETTER LAY LOW.

THE 15TH AIR FORCE BAND LIVES DOWN ON THE SECOND FLOOR,
IF YOU NEED TO FIND ONE OF THEM JUST KNOCK ON R.C.'S DOOR.

NEXT COMES JOE WHO IS A LITTLE OLDER BUT DEFINITELY NOT A NERD,
BUT IF YOU ASK ME, IT'S HER UNDER THAT COSTUME PLAYING BIG BIRD.

BACK DOWN THE HALL IS CAROL WHO SPENDS HER DAYS COOKING FOOD,
AND THEN SPENDING HER NIGHTS ROAMING THE HALLS NUDE.

SHE'S VERY CURIOUS ON WHAT'S GOING ON AND ALWAYS WANTS TO SEE,
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HOLLER SNAKE WHILE TAKING A PEE.

ONE OF THE MORE DIFFERENT ONES IS DON'S BUDDY TIM PITTS,
YOU CAN BET THAT WHILE YOUR IN THE SHOWER HE'S NOT LOOKING AT YOUR TITS.

WHEN MOST GUYS FART IT'S LOUD ENOUGH THAT EVERYONE KNOWS IT WAS YOU,
BUT WHEN ALEX FARTS IT JUST GOES SWOOOO.

CUFFY IS A GUY WHO BRAGS THAT EVERY GIRL WANTS TO BE HIS HONEY,
I FIND THIS HARD TO BELIEVE BECAUSE FROM THE SIDE HE LOOKS LIKE BUGS BUNNY.

NOW SOME PEOPLE MAY THINK THAT STEVE'S GETTIN SOME GASH,
HOW CAN HE WHEN HE'S TOLD TO LEAVE AND TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

SHAWN'S BEEN SUCKING UP TO THE WOMEN AND CAROL SUCKING UP THE BURPEE'S,
BUT I BET CAROL WILL GET A STRIPE AND SHAWN A HORRIBLE CASE OF HERPES.