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6 AUGUST 2001
I've been bad about writing in my journal again, but I have a good excuse. I've been writing the story about the kayak adventure and have finally posted it. So be sure to go back to July 2001 and take a look at the 23 July entry.
8 AUGUST 2001
My car is dead and my back-up car is unfortunately dead too. I’ll take the Lincoln in today to get it repaired. I’m thinking it is the thermostat again. I hate dead cars! 9 AUGUST 2001
It was just a hose that needed replacing ;-) I assumed so after I put 2 gallons of water in it this morning and I could see exactly where it was dripping/pouring out of. I’m very thankful! And it “only” cost me $52. 12 AUGUST 2001
I found out on Friday that my job won't be contracted out until April 2003 so that means I'll be around for at least until then. Sooooooo, I decided after careful thought to offer mother to move in with me for a year starting next June. It will allow her to pay off some of her bills and it will allow me not to suffer once I lose the extra money once Jonathan turns 23. She has accepted the offer unless of course something better comes along ;-)
Here is an email I sent to her this morning describing some of the things that I envision:
I was sitting out on my screened-in back porch this morning drinking my coffee and smoking a cigarette and thought of you enjoying the same scene. Early morning is my favorite time…right before sunrise...there are trees and grass to look at with their morning dew, the birds are waking with their morning song, and there's a nice view of dawn's early light. On Sunday mornings there are long stretches of silent streets to enjoy too. The dogs next door are used to me and never bark at me anymore. In a way, they are a comfort as I know when there are strangers about…
I envision the back porch being filled with plants, both hanging and standing… I envision creating a bird loving environment by getting a bird bath for the middle of the yard and a bird feeder or two. I envision us sitting quietly on the back porch together sometimes just enjoying what is… On the weekends, I envision grilling on the bbq with music playing in the background. I envision us throwing names of restaurants in a hat and choosing a new one each month. I envision our quiet times too where you are doing your thing and I'm doing mine. Living in our own private worlds yet sharing time and space.
Yes, Mom, I think it would indeed work. It will take some compromises I'm sure, but like I said before, if we communicate to each other our idios and work through each of them in a civil and mature way, we can have a great year together.
Yes, dreaming of tomorrow keeps me focused on today ;-)
18 AUGUST 2001
I sold my dead backup car yesterday which is a relief and a money saver although I didn't get much for it compared to what I bought it for a year ago. That's okay though because it served its purpose for a while. The rest of the week was pretty uneventful except for the fact that I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be receiving my SECOND Associate's Degree this month. The first one is an Associate's Degree in Information Technology and the second will be in Human Resource Management. I feel pretty proud of myself that I finally have a degree under my belt. It was a long time coming, but better late than never ;-) Now I'm working on my Bachelor's degree in Social Psychology and am 20 classes away of achieving that goal.
21 AUGUST 2001
The start of my 3-day pass didn't go very well and neither did the end of it... STRANDED AGAIN I really hate the feeling of being stranded. It's a helpless feeling that I don't care to experience and I had to today. My batterty died...again. The last time was at the campground last month and this time was in a parking lot across from the mall. I sat there and wondered what I was going to do. My first thought was to call Jonathan, but then I realized he was in school. I also thought about calling someone at work, but that would have really inconvenieced someone... and I hate doing that too. So I got out of the car and stood there looking around trying to determine the best course of action. I thought if I could just get a jump, I could drive on over to Sears and buy a new battery. It was then that I saw a young man in a van park nearby. He got out and went over to a store which was closed and as he was walking back, I summoned the courage to call out to him and ask his help...and he did. So true to my word, I drove straight over to Sears and here I sit waiting for my battery.
After waiting 1 1/2 hours, I found out that not only was battery dead, but the alternator was shot too. Which actually made sense since my dashboard kept flashing "charge system" whenever I drove it. So $220 later, I drove off with a new battery and a new alternator. I wonder what will be the next thing I have to replace. I NEED A NEW CAR!!!
24 AUGUST 2001
I am seriously upset with the conduct of our leadership and I have taken it personally. To be rewarded with a 3-day pass for my hard work and dedication only to have it shoved down my throat is unappreciated and totally unfair. In other words, I was called late Thursday afternoon by SSgt Farley to relay from leadership that since we missed the squadron run that day that we would have to make it up the next day and run twice as far. It apparently didn't matter that I had a valid excuse for not being there...my 3-day pass. She had a valid excuse as well… M-16 training. At one point I was told on the phone from the First Sgt that I was excluded from this "perceived" punishment; however, Capt Bush called me back 2 ½ hours later and told me that I was included in the make up run which would now be held the following week...30 Aug. Needless to say, that upset me to no end. So, I will run however far they make me even if it's twice as far as threatened. I will be on time for work and work steadily until it is time to go. I will also do my best to look out for my troops and not let them feel my discontentment. What I won't do is enjoy my job anymore, I won't come in early, stay late, skip my lunch, or work on projects at home anymore. In other words, I won't go the extra mile anymore and I sure won't participate in anything this squadron has to offer. They better not bother putting me in for any more awards because they are meaningless now. For the above reason and also because I have no desire to make rank anymore. Among other things, I refuse to play the game that puts a person in the category of kissing butt and accepting crap like this to happen instead of standing up for their people.
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