Tis the season to be jolly... however, today I've been nothing but. I guess I'm a little depressed that my mother refuses to spend Christmas with me because she is dealing with too many of her own hang-ups to deal with FAMILY. Selfish? Her? Me? I don't know. But what I do know is that I've tried real hard to accommodate her... to share time with her... to help her financially... to show her that FAMILY is important... that FAMILY is everything... I don't know what else to do so will do nothing for now, but pour my feelings out here... purge them from my mind and my heart so that tomorrow I can be there for my children. Both Jonathan and Christina will be here with me to celebrate the birth of our Lord and I intend to celebrate inspite of my hurt feelings. Okay, I feel a little better now... tis all a part of this roller coaster I was born to ride ;-)

26 DECEMBER 2000

I got over my depression and had a very nice Christmas with Jonathan and Christina. Got most of it on camera too, at least the gift opening. The three of us then fixed a big breakfast... Jonathan made homemade bisquits and Christina made the eggs while I fried the bacon and made homemade waffles. Delicious!

Dinner preparation began at Noon and I popped the cork on my wine about 1:30 pm. Dinner was supposed to be a 3, but Christina's boyfriend, Matt, was late so we finally gave up on him about 4:30 pm. Unfortunately by then I was pretty intoxicated and couldn't eat dinner. I was embarrassed to say the least and ended up having to lay down for awhile... next thing I knew, Matt had shown up and all the dishes were done. Shame on me :-( I think I'll stick to beer from now on.

It's back to work tomorrow for three days and then I'm off until the 8th of January. Woohoo!!

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