Our campsite
Christina spent the day with me and instead of sitting around doing nothing, I decided that it would be fun to go out and about. We went to the mall where I bought a new pair of walking shoes and she bought a couple new shirts for work. Then we had lunch at The Atlanta Bread Company. I've been wanting to go there for a very long time and it was well worth the wait ;-) We eached had a salad, a house salad for Christina and a ceaser salad for me. Very enjoyable! We'll have to do that more often.
2 JULY 2001
As my first sgt deadline approached, I received yet another disturbing call to culminate one heck of a first sgt tour of duty… another domestic fight! This one was from a hysterical wife calling from Atlanta saying that she called the cops on her husband who had snatched the car keys out of the car in the middle of an intersection and took off with them. The cops pulled up as we were talking and I could hear all kinds of screaming and accusations start to fly from all parties involved. I’m thinking to myself “NOT ANOTHER ONE”. I asked to speak to the military member but the wife was afraid he would steal her cell phone too so after taking down some information, I told her to have him call me ASAP. In the meantime, I got on the other phone and called my commander because I honestly didn’t know how the heck to handle the situation seeing as how the cops were there and that they were 4 hours away in Atlanta. Long story short, my commander ended up handling the situation by calling the wife’s cell phone number back and using his influence to talk to all parties involved including the cops. He told the military member to report to the First Sergeant’s office promptly at 0730 in the morning. Thank the good Lord that at 0730 this morning I WON’T be the First Sgt anymore ;-)
Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well last night thinking the phone was going to ring again ;-(
4 JULY 2001
No fireworks last night as planned because it stormed pretty bad. I think it was done by the time they were set to go off, but I didn't feel like messing with the wet seats, much less the wet streets and traffic. Oh well, maybe next year.
Today was spent in Thomasville with my mother. Lunch at Ruby Tuesday's was her choice. It turned out to be a lot of fun and I didn't have to go alone... Christina, Jonathan, and Amanda joined us. We drank, we ate, and we laughed a lot. It was a nice change of pace and a great way to spend the holiday. I think my mom enjoyed it too ;-)
7 JULY 2001
The “be it known” ceremony on Friday proved eventful. I was awarded Senior NCO of the Quarter at the Group level (Group level consists of 5 squadrons) so now I compete at the Wing level (Wing level is the whole base…30 some squadrons). I received a beautiful eagle statue instead of a plaque this time ;-) I guess all my hard work paid off as this award, even if I don’t win a Wing level, is a very good square filler for my future promotion. It was a little awkward going back to work with it though because Jeff is also a Master Sergeant and is also very good at what he does yet hasn’t been put in for an award yet. But then he hasn’t had to do two jobs at the same time either ;-)
Here’s some more news…. Jonathan is moving out of the house and into his fraternity house! Yep, I’ll have this whole house to myself and it will stay clean when I clean it ;-) What happened was, someone moved out of the fraternity house creating an opening. We had talked in the past about the future, if and when I have to move, and what his options would be. Apparently it is economical to rent a room there at $200 a month including utilities… so when he heard of the opening he approached me about it and after talking at length about it, it was decided that he should jump at the chance to get his foot in the door now because there might not be an opening next year when it was really needed. We figured out that he could just about make it work financially with the money I dole out to him already… Of course he would have to budget big time for his food and not go out to eat all the time anymore. But with an added care package of food here and there from me he should survive just fine ;-) This will also give him plenty of experience of how it will be when I cut the $$ strings come May 2003 when he graduates.
8 JULY 2001
Today I reached another milestone in my life… After 6 wonderful years with my son, I’m alone again. No children... no husband... alone... this time for good… What a strange and empty feeling it has left inside me. I’m not sure that I like it yet… maybe tomorrow it will be better, but for now, I guess I'll just experience the pain.
Today also marked one of those days that holds a lot of memories, but I guess I am probably the only one who thinks about things like that... sigh... oh well, tis over anyway... I'm sure of that now.
9 JULY 2001
I’m better today! I wallowed in the empty nest feeling for a few hours and then went for a walk before going to bed…
This morning I’m rejoicing that I’m almost where I want to be-freeeee!! I say “almost” because I still have 2 more years of financial help to give and then I’ll have done my duty as a parent, but at least until then, I’ll relax in my abode doing whatever it is that I want to knowing that I’ll be the only one to mess it up... except of course when he comes home to do his laundry ;-)
I think I’m going to turn his empty bedroom into an exercise room with my treadmill and stationary bike. Maybe put a mirror on the wall and get a set of weights. I’ve learned that life is what you make of it and dreaming of tomorrow keeps me focused on today! I refuse to have regrets and when they enter into my mind, I quickly rid myself of them… Life is just too short not to enjoy every moment of it. And I am enjoying because I can because I am alive ;-)
11 JULY 2001
The workload still sucks at work and it is because of that STUPID new Oracle system… plus it is because there’s only been myself and one other person for the last week… we have a total of 5 in the office but because of this and that they aren’t here. There are fifty million problems and every time we get a few solved, then 20 more pile up… of course I’m exaggerating, but it feels like that. I feel like someone has beaten the shit out of me by the time 4:30 pm rolls around, but today was definitely better than yesterday because yesterday I was in near tears because of the stress and frustrations… couldn’t go to sleep until after 2 am only to wake at 5 and promptly go to work by 6:30 to get a jump start on the day… which helped a lot.
Enough of my complaining…
12 JULY 2001
Went to a going away dinner party tonight that turned out to be a lot of fun... I rarely go out after work, but I made an exception because I really wanted to try the restaurant that they were having it in... don't get me wrong, I wanted to say goodbye to the person too. She helped me a lot while I was doing the first sgt thing. Anyway, it was a Japanese restaurant where they cook the food right in front of you. They even make it into a fun time... for instance after he was done cooking he had left a couple pieces of meat aside just for the game of him trying to toss the piece into your mouth... would you believe I even played a part in trying this? Yep I sure did, but he missed by a 1/4 inch :-( Was fun though and I'm very glad I went.
13 JULY 2001
Jonathan has invited me over to see his new room complete with new leopard skin print comforter on his bed. The fact that he wants me to come over must mean he’s really proud of it? He’s struggling some, but that’s to be expected since this is a new experience for him and he really has to readjust his spending habits. I’m glad he is realizing this and not expecting me to fork over more money… especially since I don’t have any ;-)
14 JULY 2001
I went to see Jonathan’s new place this afternoon… it was interesting to say the least. I say that because I had no idea what to expect and what I saw was a college boy’s room in a well used fraternity house. Evidence was everywhere that they indeed had one heck of a party the night before without him even telling me that… which he did anyway… but he seemed proud of his new place and I didn’t take that away from him… his room was very neat… bed made… organized… the whole works… I could tell that he enjoyed showing me that he had done so well ;-) I was actually proud of him and happy for him that he is able to experience this moment in life. Not everybody gets to and I think it is important for one’s life experience to experience everything life has to offer. I was not as fortunate, however, I think my dorm life at March AFB was close ;-) We went shopping afterwards to get some food and other things he needed since it was payday and time for his bi-monthly allotment check ;-)
15 JULY 2001
Lots of thought provoking emails have been shared back and forth between my mother and I today... tis been fun ;-) I also I got my secretarial duties done for the Air Force Sergeant’s Association and I even mowed the grass… very productive day indeed. Now I’m going to fix an early dinner and veg in front of the TV for the rest of the evening watching whatever appeals to me and reading from my “to read” stack. Life is good ;-)
23 JULY 2001
THE KAYAK ADVENTURE
What started as an exciting kayak adventure turned into a life and death situation or so it felt… It was a challenging fight that took sheer will and determination and a whole lot of prayer.
We began our journey shortly after waking up from a miserable night of sleeping in a hot stuffy tent where my only source of comfort came from a small battery operated fan that spit out a small stream of air on my face. Dad had it much worse as his only source of comfort was a water soaked towel spread across his chest. Morning couldn't come too soon because at least then we could crawl out of the tent where it wasn't quite as stifling. We ate a breakfast of cereal and muffins with orange juice and coffee… Cleaned up our mess and got ready to go. I asked Dad if we should fix the sandwiches he mentioned the night before and he said "No, that wasn't necessary" or something to that effect. A HUGE mistake on our part coupled with our only bringing two small bottles of water…
The plan was to take the kayaks up the river to the launch site using Dad's van, float down the river for no more than four hours, and then drive back in my car to pick up the van. After the first 2 hours we were already tired because it wasn't just an easy float, it was an obstacle course of fallen trees and shallow water. If you didn't choose the right path, you had to maneuver back against the current to take the right one, or you had to get out of the kayak to get unstuck. I double-backed quite a few times to get Dad unstuck because it was easier for me to get in and out of the boat than it was for him, plus he had his tennis shoes and didn't want to get those wet. At the 3 hour point we were out of water as it was really hot with the sun bearing down on us, but we weren't worried at this point because we figured we were almost there. HOWEVER, when I asked the first people we came across on the river if they knew how far the state park was and they said "oh my, you have at least 2 hours to the next bridge and then it's another 4 hours beyond that." I said, "You're kidding, right?" They said "no" and that's when it first occurred to me that we could be in trouble since we were out of water, had no food, and were pretty darn tired. I kept thinking that maybe they were just pulling our leg and that around the next bend we would see the park. About a half hour later, we came across another family playing in the river and I asked them the same question and they pretty much said the same thing, but of course we were a little closer. I asked if they had any extra water they could spare, but all they could offer was a cold can of soda which I was very grateful for. A few minutes later after rounding the next bend, I completely broke down and cried my eyes out. I didn't think I could make it any further and especially not another 4 or 5 hours. I got mad then and wanted to take it out on Dad for not judging the distance on the map better and for saying not to make the sandwiches. I took my frustration out on the water then by slicing hard through the water with the paddle until I couldn't go any further and had to stop and rest and let Dad catch up. After expelling my anger, I realized that I couldn't blame no one but myself for not checking things out myself and for not insisting on bringing food. I knew better! After all, I've been on several hiking trips with Dad where we didn't bring food or water when we should have and I told myself not to put myself in that situation ever again. STUPID ME! Anyway, during those quiet moments waiting for Dad to catch up, it hit me like a brick that we had to keep moving forward or we wouldn't ever make it off that river alive. We had to get to the park before nightfall and it wasn't like we could take the chance of hiking up through the woods hoping to find a road. At this point, I was totally exhausted and wasn't thinking too clearly and Dad wasn't helping me cope at all as I'm sure he was too involved in keeping his own sanity in check. I tried to think of every possibility to get us out of this nightmare, but the only scenario that I thought might work was to come across the canoe rental company launching people and ask them to shuttle us back to the park using the kayaks as collateral since we didn't have any money on us… but they weren't where I thought they would be and I thought it was more dangerous waiting for them and losing daylight than it was just moving on. So we kept moving on… and on… and on. It seemed endless. My state of mind though was now full of determination to survive as I kept the paddle moving from left to right… left to right… right… left… right… Every once in awhile I would just let the current take me and I would rest a bit, but usually only 60 to 90 seconds would tick by before having to drop the paddle back in to steer around a log or away from shore. Dad was usually about two football fields behind me and every once in awhile I would hear him cursing the boat as it drifted the opposite way he wanted it to….usually mindlessly into shore. I would slow down and wait for him to catch up, but we wouldn't talk much because that would take too much energy and we were both just focused on getting through this ordeal. Sometimes we would pass people in other canoes or just playing in the water, but I stopped asking how far it was, I stopped asking for water, I stopped asking anything… I just wanted to get there… I was beyond hungry… I was beyond thirsty… and I wasn't dying for a cigarette anymore… I was just dying to get there. The hours ticked by slowly and I would shout out our progress as each one passed… "4 hours… 5 hours… 6 hours… 7 hours."
SEVEN HOURS and 15 MINUTES later, we were finally there. We were never so happy to see the coke can on a stick lying on the side of the bank that we had put there that morning. It was like our beacon of light flashing to us that we had done it, we had survived!!! I was overwhelmed with relief and very thankful to the Lord that He had given us the strength to endure.
Now we had to worry about carrying the kayaks back to our campsite which was 300 some steps away and we would have to do this twice. I didn't think I had the strength and I don't think Dad did either, but we really didn't have a choice so we picked up the kayak by each end and commenced to walk the long trek back to camp. And as soon as we started, a voice rang out asking if we wanted help. A young teenage boy and his friend (or brother). Oh my, YES, we wanted and desperately needed help, but didn't want to ask the few people that were nearby. It was a Godsend for sure knowing our state of mind and physical exhaustion. I didn't give Dad time to say "no thanks," as I said "Yes! That would be wonderful!" And so, the two teenagers grabbed one kayak and Dad and I took the other and we started on our way when their Dad came up and took our kayak from us too. I felt like crying right then and there, but I didn't, I just let them know how thankful we were as I explained to them about our very long trip. They carried the kayaks to their campsite since it was closer and we told them we'd be back for them as soon as we picked up the other vehicle. Another sigh of relief escaped me as we walked to our camp.
During the walk, it was mutually decided that we would break camp as another night of misery on top of our adventurous ordeal couldn't be tolerated. We would pack up my car and then I would drive Dad to his and then he would drive back to the park while I just headed home. So we put the plan into action and broke camp as quickly as possible. You wouldn't believe how fast we dismantled, folded, and shoved things into my car. The energy to do so must have come from sheer determination to end the nightmare. I fixed us two mouth-watering ham and pickle sandwiches to eat while driving and two huge glasses of ice water. The sandwiches looked like prime rib and the water like champagne….priceless!
We are finally packed up, in the car, and ready to set off when I turned the key in the ignition and found that the battery was dead…. dead….dead. WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG!!!! I felt like screaming and throwing a temper tantrum, but didn't have the energy so as calmly as I could I told Dad to go back to those people's camp and ask if they could help us again. He did so without comment. I got out of the car then and sat on the picnic table eating my heavenly sandwich and the next thing I knew I saw this older, unknown lady ride by on her bicycle waving and yelling "we'll be there in a minute, we're looking for jumper cables." I sat there in utter amazement that all these unknown people were helping us. Dad came back shortly after to say that the other people that helped us with the kayaks weren't there, but that a nearby older couple would help us as soon as they found some jumper cables and lo and behold, the lady and a man ride up on their bikes with a pair of jumper cables and the man said he'd be right back with his truck. The car finally started and we were finally on our way. Thank you Lord… again!
On the drive up to the other vehicle, Dad asked if I still had some cold beer left in the cooler and I told him yes, there were two bottles left. He said he'd like one when we got up to where his van was parked. So when we arrived, he got the cold beer, and he went one way and I went the other. I later found out that he was so determined to drink that cold beer after such a trying day that he turned the wrong way when leaving and had to eventually back track to the park to pick up the kayaks. I, on the other hand, drove half way home before having to give in to my exhaustion and stop at a motel for the night. That's when I drank the remaining cold beer while soaking in a hot tub of water. Ahhhhhhhhh, a beer never tasted so good!
It took me several days to recover… partly from my wrists being sore, but mostly from the emotional trauma that I went through of fighting with myself about wanting to give up while on the river. Once I put it all into perspective though, I realized two things: one, that I am a survivor of this thing called life and that I can do anything that I set my mind to doing. And two, so is my father. He is truly an amazing man. At 74 year's old, he can run circles around most people half his age, both physically and mentally. His quiet, self-assured way of dealing with situations like we were in is absolutely incredible and I can only hope that someday, I can learn to do the same instead of nearly falling apart when I'm faced with that kind of diversity.
Will we ever attempt to take another kayak adventure? Someday… Maybe…
Our campsite
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