1. If you are toasting a marshmallow and it catches on fire, do not put it out by waving it wildly around other people.

2. Snapping turtles can jump backwards.

3. If you are female and peeing in the woods make sure your pants are totally out of the way before you go.

4. The people that make misquote repellant think its funny to replace the repellant in every 3rd can with misquote pheromones.

5. Remove all rocks and sticks from the area BEFORE you set up the tent.

6. If you are over 20 years old and haven’t slept on the ground since you were 12 you will not be “fine” after sleeping in a tent with nothing but a sleeping bag.

7. Snipe’s are not real.

8. If anyone hands you a bag and tells you to go into the woods for ANY reason they are probably lying.

9. “Roughing it” has an incredibly wide range of meanings.

10. After a week in the woods clean and dry become very relative terms.

11. Deer are schizophrenic. Don’t believe me? Go follow a deer trail for a few hours.

12. One of these times that noise at 3 o’clock in the morning WILL be a bear.

13. There is really only on thing that you mustn’t forget to pack… Toilet paper…

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