You only know five spices -- salt, pepper, Ranch dressing, BBQ Sauce and hot sauce.

You design your Halloween costume to fit over Wranglers and cowboy boots.

The mosquitoes have landing lights.

You have more miles on your tractor than your car.

You have 10 favorite recipes for Deer meat.

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating when it was 90 degrees outside. (or put up Christmas lights when it was 80 outside.)

Driving is better after it's rained because the potholes are filled with mud and you don't have to take those backroads to go "mudding."

You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

You owe more money on your bulldozer than your car.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for local sports.

You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

Your leaf-blower gets stuck on the roof.

You think the start of Deer season is a national holiday.

You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the coyotes won't prowl on your deck.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

The major county fund-raiser isn't bingo - it's sausage making.

You find 70 degrees Fahrenheit a little chilly.

The trunk of your car doubles as a sauna.

You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your cowboy boots.

You know 4 seasons - Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Deer Season.

You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Texan friends.