The St Valentine's Day Massacre!

   Autoduelists from around eastern Il gathered in Bradely Il, at the Bradely Public Autoduel Arena on the 27th of February for the postponed St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Four corporations each sponsered a relatively unknown driver in the first of the double header events. The action quickly got underway.
   Dogmaster and Corrupt Cop entered from opposite ends of the arena, while Man X and Sckid Marck entered from the same gate between the previous two. Sckid Marck became the hunted early on with Man X manuvering to hit him with his ramplate while Corrupt Cop gunned towards him launching a volly of laser guided rockets. Dogmaster remained at a distance, firing laser shots at whomever came open. After taking serious damage from rams and Vulcan machine gun fire from Man X and rocket burn from Corrupt Cop, Sckid Marck squeaked out of the melee with little to no armour on either side.
   Meanwhile, Dogmaster had closed the distance and Man X began rushing towards him, intending to ram. Just as Sckid Marck was about to escape certian destruction, Dogmaster blistered him with a quick laser shot through his unarmoured left side.. After narrowly escaping ramming and several vollys of Vulcan machine gun fire from Man X, Dogmaster managed to fry the back tire of Man X's auto. Corrupt Cop began manuvering to catch the two as Man X continued to chase Dogmaster behind a wall. An unfortunate attempt to catch Dogmaster sent Man X into a spin which allowed Dogmaster to escape right into the path of Corrupt Cop.
   However, Dogmaster's greater acceleration allowed him to quickly outdistance the pursuit; he quickly fried Man X with his laser and still pulled ahead of Corrupt Cop. After several vollys of rocket and laser fire, Dogmaster had accelerated to seventy five mph and was quickly heading towards the wall. In a daring hard turn, Dogmaster lost control and spun directly into the wall, killing himself instantly.


   The second of the two events proved even more exciting with several spectacular blasts and tactics.
   All contestants entered from different gates in the arena, Corrupt Cop as the returning champion, next to the Catmaster (obviously some relation to the afore mentioned Dogmaster), Man Y, and Oil Pan. Corrupt Cop had repaired the damages to his vehicle with the prize money from the previous event and reentered. Catmaster was almost disqualified for causing a collision with Corrupt Cop before the "7 Second" safety zone was finished but avioded the fate with quick manuvering. This put Man Y and Corrupt Cop on a close course, but both narrowly avoided collisions. Oil Pan hung back avioding the congestion. Once the safty zone was off, Corrupt Cop and Man Y veared off at high speed with Corrupt Cop chasing Man Y down. Catmaster rounded a wall to find himself headed straight towards Oil Pan who nailed him with several vollys of machine gun fire. As he approached however, he shot out both of the tires on Oil Pan's left side, leaving him to coast to a halt.
   Catmaster wasn't out of the fire yet however. Corrupt Cop had abandoned his chase of the faster Man Y and found himself gunning down on him. A guided missle volly blasted away at Catmaster's front armour as the two raced by each other. Corrupt Cop fired a flaming oil jet as he raced by the immobile Oil Pan to cover his path with the smoke.
   Meanwhile, Man Y had begun gunning down on the injured Catmaster, nailing him with six missles from his six shooter guided by a light laser, melting the armour off of Catmaster's right side. As Man Y raced towards him at a right angle, Catmaster fired off a Heavy Duty Flaming Oil Jet in an attempt to get Man Y to turn sharply and wipe out. After some split second desicions, Man Y rammed directly into Catmaster's unarmoured side. This killed Catmaster, but rolled Man Y's vehicle.
   Oil Pan sat in his car trying to decide if he should stick to his armoured vehicle with machine guns or make a break for the hand held missle launchers in the center of the arena. As he debated this, the Arena mounted Heavy Rocket slammed into the roof of his car, not penetrating the armour, but making up his mind. He jumped out and began running towards the missles. Corrupt Cop saw this and began gunning towards him. Meanwhile, Man Y jumped out of his car and tried to decide what to do. Oil Pan saw Corrupt Cop speeding towards him and ran in front of the flaming oil slick in hopes of dissuading Corrupt Cop from running him down. It didn't work. Corrupt Cop slammed into him and ran right through the slick. Upon seeing this, Man Y surrendered.

Corp Name Wins1 Kills2 Total Prize Money
Lloyd Inc. 2 1 $40,000
Agussie International 0 1 $0
Petmasters 0 0 0
Jim's Autobody 0 0 0

1. The winner is the last person in the arena with an operational vehicle. Operational is either mobile, or loaded, but not necessarily both.
2. In order to have been considered to score a kill, the driver must survive himself, and the opposing vehicle must be unable to move and fire. 1