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| My Testimony
by Heidi Bingham |
by David Meece
My testimony isn't something I've shared much with others as it seems a bit silly and it's kind of personal, but after thinking about it, I decided to go ahead and put it up on the web. God used the death of a little pet bird to show me the depths of His love for me. But let me start earlier: I grew up in the Catholic church. I was taught that obeying the 10 Commandments and being good would get me to heaven. That was the goal, to go to heaven when I died, not to live for God and have a personal relationship with Jesus.
College was an interesting time in my life. In college, I served as an alter minister (I went to an all women's college, so there were no guys to serve). I took it pretty seriously at first, and always believed in God, but this belief was more of an acknowledgement of some big guy out there in heaven. I had no concept of the reality of Him in daily life, "Holy Spirit" was just something I said when I made the sign of the cross, and I certainly did not have a saving relationship with Jesus. I believed I was going to Heaven because I did good things (or at least didn't do things that were terribly bad). Obviously, this was not much to sustain me, so as I began to enjoy Saturday night parties (I wouldn't have qualified as a big partier, but still...), sleeping in on Sunday morning became more important than church.
By the time I graduated, with a degree in Chemistry, I was quite a liberal. I believed in and accepted a whole lot of things that were contrary to God's word. I was a feminist (mostly) and had my sights set on a career. I almost joined the Navy and went to Officer's Candidate School, but then Rich proposed to me.
We got married 9 months later and moved to Orlando, FL where Rich (a naval officer) attended Nuclear Power school. I was quite depressed most of the time there. I couldn't get much of a job becasue we were only assigned there for 6 months. I had a hard time meeting friends. But God, in His sovereignity, knew what He was doing. One of Rich's instructors made a habit of issuing invitations for all the wives to participate in a "stitching group" with his wife. In the 3 years that they were in FL, I was the only one to accept. So, I made a connection with a real Christian. This couple and some others they knew sort of tag-teamed us for a few months, inviting us to participate in activities and attend church with them. I couldn't figure out why as we seemed to have nothing in common. I found out later, they were praying for and witnessing to us. :-) Then I understood!
Rich was saved first and dragged me to church with him. I just hated it! I couldn't get out fast enough and after a couple of Sundays I flat out refused to go, denying the very existance of God.
At this time, he bought me a little grey cockatiel. I named her Perky. She was a sweet little thing and I really loved her. I'm not sure why, perhaps she wasn't quite ready to be on her own, but she quickly became sick and then died. I was crushed. I grieved for several days over a bird I had scarcely had for a week. Then, one day, as I was driving to get Rich at school, I called out, "God help me." Did I really believe He would? No, of course not! I had no faith. I didn't even particularly believe He existed at that time. It was more of a cliche one uses when desperate. But suddenly, He was there with me! There was certainly nothing that I had done to cause Him to look upon me. My behavior and thoughts toward Him were reprehensible. I was stunned. He pulled me to Him with such an irresistable grace that I couldn't have told Him "no" and I didn't want to in light of that grace! What an incredible moment. All of a sudden I knew the truth, that there truly is an all powerful God, Creator of Heaven and earth, and for reasons known only to Him, He chose me to be his own and nothing in the world or in myself can change that! I belong to Him, now and forever.
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