HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM

• One hand on the wheel, one hand on the horn: NEW YORK
  
  
• One hand on wheel, one finger out window: CHICAGO
  
  
• One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON
  
  
• One hand on wheel, one hand cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: CALIFORNIA (With gun in lap) LA
  
  
• Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: OHIO (but driving in California)
  
  
• Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: ITALY
  
  
• Two inches behind your rear bumper on any road - any time of the day or night: RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA
  
  
• One hand on lap, one knee on wheel, one hand cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: SEATTLE
  
  
• One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonald's bag out the window: TEXAS (city - Male)
  
  
• One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: TEXAS (country - Male)
  
  
• One hand constantly refocusing the rearview mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rattail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: TEXAS (Female)
  
  
• Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rearview mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another's car: COLORADO
  
  
• Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: WEST VIRGINIA (Male)
  
  
• Junker driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is now wearing a barrel: LAS VEGAS
  
  
• Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 mph on the Interstate in the left lane with the right blinker on: FLORIDA