Original Day of Composition: March 2, 1997

I hate March. I hate it, I HATE it, I hate IT! I know, many of you love this month because it is very spring-like. But, I think March's way of preparing for spring is certainly uncalled for. In celebration of this glorious month that I hate, here is a poem I'm making up as I go along:

March

The sun rises early,
From it's long, wintry sleep.
Ah! Warmth!
It's March. It's soon spring!
Hooray, hooray!
The flowers will soon be
Popping their little buds up,
And filling the air with
Sweet scents of spring. (I'm beginning to gag, but the good part's coming)
Oh, to walk outside in the warm, beautiful spring.
Let's go outside shall we...
No flowers, no green,
Still growth that's unseen (rhyming too, that's amazing)
What was previously snow,
Is not nice, oh no!
But there's dirt abounding,
Sand and filth outstanding,
And no sweet smells of spring.
Only powerful odours of recently thawed,
Doggie poop poop poop poop poop.
The trees are still bare,
Garbage everywhere, and
Poop poop poop poop poop.
I love March.

That was a masterpiece. Happy March to you all, and watch your step on your March walks, poop you know...

And the new addition for 2001!!!

March 21, 2001

A March Surprise

The winter was peaceful,
The ground laced with snow.
And when the air warms,
Everyone knows,
The snow banks will melt,
Leaving pleasant surprises.
Like living and green,
Growth largely unseen.
The snow melts away.
Reveals coinage and plumage,
And the mushy, so cushy,
Debris of dog poo.
We are careful to step,
Away from the dangers.
And cringe when we see it,
Gag when we smell it.
But that is not the worst of all.
By natures hand,
Beneath the dirt,
And salt and sand,
Comes small and simple,
Coloured Tan,
Amputated deer leg.
It has a hoof, and clumps of fur.
We wonder where it was, or were...
It lay there half-concealed by snow,
But it does not belong, oh no!
We feared the dogs, and all their poo,
But listen when I say to you.
The poo's not bad, it's harmless really.
To avoid it now is good, but silly.
The real danger lies within,
The terrible rejected deer limb.
Run from it, as fast as you can!
Think not upon it and how it became,
To be under the snow,
And torn from the body.
Expel from the mind,
And hope that it melts,
Along with the snow,
In the warmth of March.

This is truly, and actually, without a horrific doubt, based on a true story.
Photos of the dramatic event:

Photos Courtesy of Colleen who reported and dramatized the event.