#1 CRUSH
By Garbage

I would die for you
I would die for you
I've been dying just to feel you by my side
To know that you're mine

I would cry for you
I would cry for you
I will wash away your pain with all my tears
I'm drowning on fear

I will pray for you
I will pray for you
I will sell my soul for something true
Someone like you

See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice every time that I'm talking
You will believe in me
And I'll never be ignored

I will burn for you
Feel pain for you
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart
And tear it apart

I will lie for you
Beg and steal for you
I will crawl on my hands and knees until you see
You're just like me

Violate all the love that I'm missing
Throw away all the pain that I'm living
You will believe in me
And I'll never be ignored

I would die for you
I would kill for you
I would steal for you
I'd do time for you
I will wait for you
I'd make room for you
I'd sink ships for you
Take the cross for you
Make me a part of you
Cause I believe in you
I believe in you
I would die for you

There's something about teenagers and love that is lethal. It is a wonder more teens don't die of it. Love and youth is like fire and gasoline. A crush can consume you. A bad relationship can destroy you. A cruel rebuff can strip your life of meaning.

Consider the boy who loves a girl so badly that she is on his mind night and day. Her name is on his notebooks. Her smile dances in his dreams at night, and the soft whisper of her speech lingers on his memory like honey. Oh, how close they are. Friends. Classmates. But how cruel it is to know that she loves someone else, not him. She knows how he wants her. She knows how much she means to him. She knows his heart is breaking. But she does not love him as he loves her, and he can't understand it. He needs her. He hates her.

Romeo and Juliet would rather die than face life without their love. Young love is bitter like lemon when things go wrong. It is all-consuming. It crushes your attempts to focus on your studies. It draws you to places where you would not otherwise be - lingering, waiting, hoping to win a smile and a kind word and a kiss and an eternity of closeness.

Bitterest of all is the love that is not returned. Hear the words: I would kill for you if we were together. But what if we are not together? My feelings are still real. My longing is still real. My hunger to be with you is still real. But I sit here hurt, devastated, unable to go on. Everything is ruined. Everything is destroyed. Without you, life has no meaning. I pound my pillow with all my might: How stupid I am! Stupid! Stupid!

Why can't she love me?

It can throw your entire life off balance. Its effect is not to be under-estimated. It can drive a sane kid over the edge. It can lead to killing. It can lead to suicide. Haven't you seen depths of depression in lovesick kids that is comparable to any other despair? Just because someone is young doesn't mean he can't feel the weight of love and lovelessness crushing in on him. Perhaps his youthful naivete and vulnerability makes him feel it more.

It hurts like nothing else. It aches where there's no numbing it. You tell yourself you're the only one who'd die for her. You tell yourself you'd kill to defend her. You fantasize about rushing to rescue her from an attacker, wiping the tears from her eyes, pulling her close to your heart, and never letting her go. The fantasies paralyze you. Nothing else matters. And they hold you in their grip 24 hours a day.

You try to impress her. You know if only you can show her your funny side, your classy side, your strong side, your romantic side, she will see you for who you really are and love you. But is it working? Or does she think you the fool? Those idiots stand in my way. She's listening to their lies. She can't love me because they won't let her. How I hate them. How I hate her for listening to them.

I try to impress her that I am one of the big boys. I am in the big league. I am not afraid to break the rules - even the biggest ones. Maybe I can bring a gun to school. That will impress them. Hey, look at him. [nudge, nudge] Yeah, he's cool! But something goes terribly wrong, and now what have I done?! I'm being sent away from her, just when I was about to make my breakthrough. Stupid! Stupid! STUPID!!!

Nothing ever goes right for me. I've just plain had it!