The story of Rudolph is a familiar one to most of the pre-adults in America, and other parts of the Western world (not that this fact is an endorsement of Western culture, just an acknowledgement that the publicity and merchandising machines run more effeciently in these areas). While the image of an eager young reindeer cheerfully giving his all for Santa Claus might be useful to department stores and jingle writers, the truth of his story is more complicated.

It's true that from birth Rudolph was a unique individual, that his luminescent olfactory organ made him different from (but not inferior to) the other reindeer in his age category; and that they often maliciously taunted him about his supra-nasal capabilities. Some reindeer caregivers, concerned that his nose had resulted from radioactive fallout or was somehow contagious, warned their fawns not to play with him.

What is not true is that Rudolph was disappointed to be so ostracized. While his parents   unccessfully fought to have him schooled alongside the other young bucks and does, Rudolph always fancied himself an outsider In fact, he worked to cultivate his image as an "angry young reindeer." He had no interest in the other reindeer and their inane games. He took himself and his fluorescent gift seriously and was convinced he had a higher calling in this life: to improve the fortunes of the working reindeer and overthrow the oppressive tyranny of Santa Claus!

For untold years, the success of Santa's toy-making monopoly depended on the co-option and exploitation of both the reindeer and elf populations. To this end, his most important criteria for the reindeer in his team were strong legs, a ten-point rack, and minimal gray matter. (The fact that he only recruited bucks for his team and excluded the does is cause for more outrage-Santa insisted it was to protect the morale of the enlisted bucks-but unfortunately, in Rudolph's time, the does were still awaiting their liberatrix.)

To Santa, Rudolph was one of the Northland's most dangerous creatures: a reindeer with a brain. He had seen a few during his years at the Pole, but there was something about Rudolph that made him especially nervous. It might have been the deer's standoffish attitude, or the rumors that he was organizing meetings with the other reindeer late at night Santa also sensed a charisma in Rudolph that, if not kept in proper check, might disrupt his tidy little enterprise.

And so it was that, on that fabled foggy evening, Santa found himself in a bind. Harsh weather conditions left him unable to exploit the aerodynamic talents of his team. He had of course flown them through all sorts of dangerous weather before, with no thought to the deer's physical strain or mental trauma. But on this night the weather was so tempestuous that the bearded slave driver was fearful for his own safety and for the insurance headaches that a crash at his own toy works would certainly create.

Although Santa had known for years about Rudolph's gift for incandescent dissemination, he had not called special attention to it. In due time, Santa selfishly calculated, a use for it would arise, and until then there was no need to tip off how valuable Rudolph's skill might prove to be. That moment had finally arrived. On that foggy night, he sought out Rudolph among the herd and, wearing his humblest and most pleading face, asked him, "Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

The young reindeer looked him over carefully. After a few moments of silence, he said, "No."

Santa blinked a few times and repeated, "No?" The herd could scarcely believe its ears as well.

"No. Not without concessions," replied the creature who happened to be antlered. "The days when we jump every time you whistle are over!

"What are you talking about, concessions?" blustered Santa, who hadn't planned on this twist. "This is your big break, your chance to join the team. This is the life's dream of every young reindeer"

Rudolph laughed. "This is starting to sound like A Star Is Born. Next you're going to tell me, 'Kid, you're going out there a nervous young buck, but you're coming back... a star."

The herd all chuckled at this remark. Perhaps such a gung-ho speech was all too familiar to them. Santa reddened, realizing he'd made a tactical error in approaching this young firebrand in public. He said, "It's cold out here. Why don't we talk this over inside my chalet. I have some very good moss and lichens,just picked."

"I'll eat what everyone else eats," countered Rudolph, "and whatever you have to say to me, you
can say out here." The other reindeer were watching this face-off with great interest. For years, they had treated Rudolph with suspicion for all his bold ideas, but now he was bravely sticking up for them at the expense of his own career. Some shouted encouragement, while the more reactionary deer grumbled about not rocking the boat.

Santa began to feel some pressure as the minutes ticked away and the fog grew thicker. Finally he asked Rudolph what his demands were.

"You work the reindeer too hard, with no consideration for our families," Rudolph said. We want a guarantee of no work on holidays."

For the next thirty minutes Santa tried to explain the disadvantages of this idea, the main one being, of course that the reindeer only worked one night a year anyway and since that night always fell on a holiday such a change would make their jobs (and his) rather difficult to fulfill. Rudolph eventually agreed to table the issue for the time being.

Checking his watch, Santa was starting to sweat, even in the Arctic cold. "Could we speed this up?" he asked. "Or maybe forge a temporary working agreement that we can make permanent after Christmas?"

Rudolph snorted in his face, "We weren't born yesterday, Claus. No contract, no flight. If Christmas doesn't come this year, who do you think the children will blame? The reindeer? The weather? The Interstate Commerce Commission? No, they'll blame the overfed guy in the red suit."

Santa imagined the public relations headaches this would cause him, and his frame began to sag. Rudolph grilled him on such issues as health care, paternity leave, profit sharing, and joint decisionmaking councils. As the fog refused to lift and the minutes ticked away, Santa granted more and more of the deer's demands.

In the end, Rudolph and the reindeer rank-and-file could claim a number of victories: The deer would be required to fly only one night a year, and after four hours on the job, they would receive a ninety-minute dinner break and three fifteen-minute breaks. Santa was required to keep four alternate reindeer on standby for the duration of Christmas Eve at full pay and benefits. In addition, the mandatory retirement age was lowered to eight years, after which the reindeer were to receive a full pension and lifetime health care.

After all the terms were finalized, an exhausted but relieved Santa Claus hitched Rudolph up with the rest of the team. The other deer gave Rudolph three cheers for standing up for their rights against "the man," which the nasally empowered reindeer, feeling fulfilled for the first time, gratefully accepted. Using his unique luminescent gift, he led the sleigh through the inhospitable weather and Christmas that year was saved.

Like the fabled prophet in his own land, however Rudolph found his real influence evaporating soon after that. For weeks he was praised by all the other reindeer, who told him, "You'll go down in history!" All the attention and admiration, however, began to feel superficial and distracting. Rudolph felt that any lionization of him would take energy away from the continuing fight for the well-being of the working reindeer. In a facile attempt to emulate their new hero, the other young reindeer began to wear bright red coverings on their noses. When Rudolph expressed his displeasure with this, some muttered that he was becoming too humorless and doctrinaire.

To Rudolph, this first agreement with Santa was to be just the beginning. He envisioned the eventual creation of a working reindeer's paradise, a toymaking and distribution collective where the means of production were shared by everyone. Unfortunately many of the other reindeer began to take their newly won benefits as their inviolable right, bestowed by nature. They grew fat on too much moss and complained that their improved work schedules were still too taxing. Factions began to form among them about the best ways to invest their new pension fund. Rudolph tried to convince the dissident deer that they needed to stand united, but they began to resent his holier-than-thou attitude. Some spread the rumor that he was an agent provocateur, sent by other aeronautically gifted animals seeking to gain Santa's favor and put the deer out of their jobs. While such theories were patently absurd, they served to discredit Rudolph and embolden his detractors. Eventually he was voted out of the union he had helped establish. After this indignity, Rudolph decided to strike off for Lapland, where he felt the undomesticated reindeer were more in control of their own future.

And so, like other revolutionaries before him, Rudolph the angry young reindeer lived out the rest of his days in exile, bitterly wondering how a movement with such promise could prove to be so fragile in the end.