Disorder in the Court

From a little book called "Disorder in the Court." These are
things people actually said in court, word for word.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment
of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it
affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it
affect your memory?
A: I forget
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example
of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one
living with you.
A: 38 or 25, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: 45 years.

Q: What was the first thing your
husband said to you when he
woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning prusuant
to a deposition notice?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed
on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed
in the war?

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30pm
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I
was doing an autopsy.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were
your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes
Q: Did the degendant say anything when she
got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies
in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather
elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

Back to Laughs Main Menu