As I sit down to write this snippet about my life, I am haunted by what was a bitter sweet childhood. Yet, at the same time committed to the joyful life that I now lead, which would never have been a dream come true, had I not been brought up the way I was. I developed a lust for freedom that would not be quenched before I was seventeen. I was taught to be hard working, responsible, and defensive. Lessons learned well and taught without any open feeling that recognition and love were necessary to complete the picture. This void was soon filled by Grandma Josephine, who loved me selflessly and gave all she had to me.
She never criticized me nor spanked me....I was her special grandchild. How I loved staying in her big Victorian home with its huge dining room, pantry, large wide staircase, vaulted ceilings and window seats, beautiful porches and my own room and balcony. It was in this home that I learned manners, how to set a table, which clothes to wear for what occasions, how to entertain the ladies to tea, and what families were all about.
Grandma would read to me each day when I was little, make me cute outfits and call me Betty Jo. (I hated that!) Grandpa would give me whisker kisses and tell me how important a college education was. I always wanted her with me and later after Grandpa died she moved to San Diego and spent the rest of her days here. My children called her Grandma Jo and loved her to death! She died on my anniversary...but lingered just long enough for me to crawl up on her bed, put my arms around her, and tell her that she was the most important person in my life and that I would always love her and never forget how special she was to my family.
She set my emotional table...It was through her nurturing that I was able to become who I am...I can feel love and I can love...I love hugs, even though, in my own home there weren't any...I tell my children each time we speak that I love them. Never will I let any member of this family leave the earth without all the important things being said! When Dad died....Mom lamented that there were so many things she wanted to tell him...and poof he was gone and those things would never fall upon the ears of one who should have heard them...I have learned my lessons well.
So it was that I turned down a scholarship to the University of San Diego to be free. Grandma helped me through college and I attended U.C.L.A. from 1965 to 1969. I would ride the bus in Los Angeles on weekends to visit Grandma and Grandpa Schollard. I think I actually caused some unrest with my dating habits. Soon after, I applied to Berkeley Graduate School and was accepted. I was a flower child "par excellance". I marched in People's Park Marches both 1 & 2. My home was a flat on the Panhandle of Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, which I shared with a number of friends from UCLA. These were the best of times. I am so lucky to have been a part of the 60's. I thoroughly enjoyed each and every part of this life! To make matters even better I was totally free to be who I was. I bailed a sweet puppy out of the Market Street Pound, named him Toby...and he was to share my life for the next 16 years. He was around when I married and my children have the fondest memories of this dog.
It wasn't long after graduate school was completed that I came home to what I term as "The Beautiful City". Each year when I would drive home, generally at Christmas, there was a new building on the skyline. Since I was born in San Diego my early memories are of cow pastures, beautiful beaches, and one building "The El Cortez" dotted the skyline. I made my home in Ocean Beach, Mission Beach, and finally Point Loma. I love the ocean and to this day need to live near it...where I can see it daily!
I took my first teaching job quite by accident. I was only substituting to pay bills and live the life of a Beachoholic! Well it was only one month into substituting that I was hired and with the exception of six years of child rearing I have been teaching Junior High for what seems like a life time, about 27years or so.
And if dreams could come true they did. In 1971 I met my husband to be, Paul. He is from New York, wild and crazy, passionate and sincere! We dated and married in 1974. My dream was that if I could match what I perceived an unhappy childhood of 18 years with a happy 18 years then my dreams would come true. Well it has been 27 years of bliss! I could never ask for more...I try to count my blessings each and every day. I have two wonderful children who are now young adults, beautiful, intelligent, and healthy...a home with an upstairs...just like Grandma's, many pets...and a newly found 1/2 sister, Loretta.
Since my Father's journey through life without a family, I have been searching to find his family. I have met first cousins, Carol Makin & Gary Hammond who are special people. I have 2 Aunts, Dot & Uva, who were Dad's sisters and were happy to meet me and find out about their brother, Jim. I have met Dodie Browning who has become close to my heart.
The best is the relationship that my sister, Loretta, and I are building. We are eleven years apart in age; she being my Dad's first daughter, I being his last! We look alike and share many of the same attitudes. My hope is that one day we will meet face to face and give a hug...that should have been given 50 years ago. It is amazing to think that a lifetime can pass before you discover the family you never knew you had.
This Christmas I give thanks for all that I am, for all that I have, for those I love and for those who love me. There is nothing I shall want because I have been blessed with a wonderful family and friends. There are no more defenses because this love is real....It is gentle and kind. Merry Christmas to all.....
Jodi
