Court Elfin
I found out they resent us most profoundly for what we have done to the environment.
And when I asked them why they hadn't done something about it while they still could,
it was bread and water for a month. Until an invisible fey informed me of the prevailing attitude regarding meddling among us on "our turf," and the once-awestruck, now
terror-filled and murderous treatment they received. It would seem that there are
still some of us who can detect them easily, even in their most ingenious guises.
No, they gave up on working with us centuries ago, and I dared not try to blame them for it.
.
When I was released from solitary and introduced to their society, I was treated as
any of us might have been--I assume. Evidently not many of them had heard of my blasphemous
comments, or they just didn't care, and I was vastly ignored except by the serving fey (whose job it must have been to care for me anyway). I returned to a room
more reminiscent of a cloister cell or squared-off cave each time I felt weary to
find that all had been neatened during my absence. Sometimes I felt as though one
or two fey may have kept lingering invisibly there to watch me. But that was really none of
my business, I kept reminding myself, and went on with dull existence for awhile.
.
Finally I began to pick up a few of their native words. Though I was initially shy
about practicing speaking their impossibly smooth and musical tongue, the servants
and children would ultimately taunt me until I had no other recourse but to speak
in their language.
.
I had no idea how good I was at it until I was summonsed by the queen. Let yourself
know without doubt, though, that the common phrases and idioms I had to this point
learned were not the sort of things one would likely find occasion to speak to the
queen. Much less so than to any elven royalty, and far, far less than words any of us should
ever likely dare to utter at the most removed of their kind. Nonetheless, she had
wanted to hear my elfin, and so I was summonsed to her to recite things I knew such
as "If I see that cat again I'll stomp its tail," and "I hope you fly into a wall."
"Fly" being a most supreme insult to use in reference to elfin royalty...but I didn't
know this.
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My, what raucous laughter they can produce! I had nearly wished myself into a crack
in the stone floor and had sworn off using their speech entirely before being escorted
back to my room.
.
Before long I knew that I had made a lasting impression upon them --and especially
upon their queen-- as I had begun to be assigned serving chores. I started serving
at tables for the ladies-in-waiting during the queen's evening meal, and very soon
was not only permitted access to all the "royal" chambers I had never before been in, but
was taken on tour, even through the queen's private rooms (!!).
.
I was amazed at the culture and refined tastes which prevailed. Either they had had
more contact with us in the last few centuries than I had ever imagined, or their
cultural evolution directly paralleled ours in outstanding ways. My vocabulary increased
and, seemingly against the prevailing orders, I taught myself the subtle semantic
differences between the elfin spoken among those in servitude and the relatively consonantless
royal speech. I must let you know how difficult all this was, as absolutely everyone refused to coach me, and I was quite seriously rebuffed for practicing the finer
language, those few times I did, with the only child of their aristocratic class.
.
I began to remember times in my youth when I must have heard the fey speaking among
the wind in the trees. I daresay I quickly and most truly did fall in love with the
higher elfin speech. Not so surprising, then, that I should have begun to love Theleme; for her elfin was the most perfect, the most enchanting thing I have ever heard.
It would seem that she arranged her words to a perfection "so"--being able to nearly
sing each thing she would say. Such a melodious language it already was, but she
could speak the most grave things and make one sigh with joy to hear it. And she would speak
both, the more gutteral, almost english-seeming by comparison "low elfin" (sic),
as I had begun to call it, and the aspirate, breathless higher elfin, with equal
aptitude, though at first she too refused to speak anything but low elfin with me.
.
It seemed that I was not to enjoy Theleme in any capacity once I'd realized my love
for her. I hadn't known then of the fierce emotions the fey contain; and, oh yes,
they always have some bubbling or seething (or both) going on within them no matter
how indifferent they may seem. And I must make note, having said that, that drastic emotion
can be achieved in a fey for the smallest detail. The queen had summonsed me again,
only this time it was for a private audience, and I was given "court clothes."
.
The queen had a fit. The first among many not strangely enough, although I didn't
think that way at first. I was instantly stripped and redressed in my mismatched,
badly fitting uglies from solitary and servitude. The queen, it seemed, had wanted
me as "human" as was still possible (against all I had learned) to read to her from books
which had been captured out of our culture while translating into low elfin.
.
It was surprising to think the queen of these fey could genuinely like anything produced
of our society. Perhaps she was as intrigued as I to learn how might these human
thoughts translate into the elfin emotion and music which was their language. She
could have done it herself'; I knew that she had full command of our American English
language (if it can truly be called "a language") despite the obvious discomfort
it caused any fey, though especially royal fey, to speak. Perhaps she wanted to have
the translation from our point of view as well. Perhaps it was some sort of ill-conceived,
secret jest to her. I very quickly learned that higher elfin was absolutely forbidden
even (rather, especially) when there were specialized phrases in higher elfin which
could not be either conceptualized in or expressed well in low elfin. There were many
fits about this taboo, and often at the start, after only a very little transliteration,
I had things thrown at me and was sent to exile in the kitchen for a week or so.
.
Slowly but too soon, I discovered for myself one of the truer points of the queen's
larger-than-life distress concerning myself and higher elfin. It was Theleme who
had given me most insight to the variance between common and royal elfin speech which
made them so distinctly (though not actually) two dialects. And why shouldn't she; I would
listen to her speak whenever I could pick her voice from any sized crowd, no matter
that she may be discussing needlepoint or the distinguishing points between warts
on toads and warts on frogs. It was Theleme I emulated most often when I spoke higher
elfin, and I could only speak as myself in low elfin. I was clearly becoming, if
I was not already, the queen's most favorite of companions. Most likely only because
I couldn't find the superiority about her (that she should be queen) and she seemed to like
the rebellion that I could not help representing in my attitude and choice of phrase.
The queen was somehow jealous of either me or Theleme, or of me and Theleme.
.
Since I was not overly bright concerning the delicacy of fey, I foolishly fell into
the first of the queen's traps for me. She had been listening delightedly to me transliterate
for more than two hours when she suddenly asked me to stop. In higher elfin, I noticed with a shock. When I inquired as to her level of satisfaction with my reading,
she began throwing things at me most violently and had me placed in solitary for
two weeks. I had responded to her in higher elfin. But, I caught a glimpse of Theleme
while being dragged to my cell by my feet, and, as long as I listened with my full
attention, I could sometimes hear her speaking in the far away throne room, so I was
consoled nicely.
.
There is no need to mention each of the crafty traps that the fey queen detonated
at my expense. Suffice it to say that I am quite sure I adeptly launched myself into
all of them. My consolation was much the same each time though -- to hear Theleme,
and come to know and deeply love her by eavesdropping from the distance.
.
I began to know to myself the ideal behind citing fey as Sleagh Maith, "The Good People,"
to say a pleasantry rather than admit the fault -- in order that the fault be not
conjured by the recitation. Yet I much preferred the name "Daemons" in my own mind. Daemons were they all, especially the queen. But Theleme was not one of them.
.
She, the queen, sensed my despite, and ceased laying traps for me, but I had already
known that I would need to do something. Double-con her at her own game if possible,
in order to lessen her impending and undoubtedly overwhelming wrath.
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So I set my ears to the wall with a different interest in mind, I had already learned,
to my inward despair, that the queen's favorite was the popular and, in fact, traditional
scapegoat of all else. And that I was without doubt her favorite. Evidently the queen liked to be rabid on a regular basis. I applied each ounce of spare time to
my "petty overhearing," memorizing names and voices, nuances of preference among
the aristocratic fey, and degrees and areas of bias among the working fey.
.
Soon, it seemed, the queen felt all was well between us. I knew that she must quickly
grow bored with me unless she had some extremely dire strategy yet unhatched, and
I briefly became panicky, making easy mistakes for which the queen appeared overly
willing to forgive. I immediately pushed myself harder into my plan as I knew the reasons
she most likely had to be so tolerant of me.
.
Ever so carefully I began to place myself within the royal halls and throne room, making
the most minute pains to be certain Theleme would not be about at these times. I
acted nervously around the queen and often rushed to the servants, begging or bartering for any little thing the queen could have asked for. I invented several errands,
but was not questioned.
.
Surprisingly swift, I became "pet" to a good majority of all the fey I had known.
I had thought it would be difficult to illicit pity or compassion from the fey, but
I hadn't considered the frankness of all fey, especially when they truly believe
that none of us could possibly be hearing them. And the queen seemed oblivious to my growing
popularity; after all, it was her right to ignore everything but herself.
.
Dreadfully at last, the day came when I was dressed in fey finery and brought before
the queen. She did not have a fit and, in fact, appeared rather pleased at my appearance
in their manner of dress. In public, I was sure (and had always been sure, since
my first meeting with her), she was going to cut off my head -- or whatever was worse
than that to them. I examined where I stood quite nervously, searching for a trap
door or marks of workmanship to conceal unusual and unforeseen devices of torture.
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She was quick about her declaration: that I had been a pleasant enough diversion,
but that I had somehow managed to far outlive any usefulness to her. She openly admitted
that the tardiness of this statement could not be explained, while explaining very
clearly that she didn't understand how I'd tricked her into escaping this conclusion
for so long.
.
Her thought here must have been to make me an ugly villain before her subject's thoughts.
Except, I had tried to make sure, that her lessers loved me more in that moment of
utter rejection than ever they had wanted to love any one of us.
.
That I had managed to woo the queen's vassalage from her became apparent amidst their
confusion for an answer once she had asked them what she should do with me. She recovered
without a blink by giving me the same question: what should she do with me.
.
Now was my moment to play at the game I had established. A game far more reaching
than I had any notion as to the proper or most likely establishment of....Now I fell
to my knees sobbing real tears (only they were actually for Theleme), and begged
the mercy I knew to be so rare.
.
True fear gripped me when she played my game so well as to laugh chastisingly. When
I looked up she approached me and made the genuinely comforting consolation of apology
in higher elfin. She then fixed me with a gaze to match it and told the court as
well as me that she had meant to muse with us as friends, and had only desired to know
what her gift to me should be.
.
Oh, she had played very well. I knew that I must finish my game quickly before she
robbed me of even the hope of playing further. I made myself painfully humble and
replied to her that I would wish to marry of her people since it would be an abhorrent
thought to such Shining Folk to consider pairing a human with their queen.
.
I had anticipated gasps and screams at this, my last token to play, and had only scant
hopes that this would not be my undoing. I had tried a game designed for the queen
to win in the thought that I might reap someone in particular for myself because
of my end performance. I knew the queen would have a fit.
.
The queen did not become rabid. She clucked and cooed in pity of my idiot self, and
explained that she could not be the sort of queen who gave away her subjects as gifts
to humans. She then raised my face to her and spoke to me and the court but revealing her instant and deep hatred to me alone. She asked if I had anyone in particular
in mind.
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Theleme volunteered.
.
I thought I had died. Perhaps even months before. A roar of surprise filled the throne room
and the queen fell back a step. But it was real; she volunteered again.
.
I could not rightly contain myself, and fumbled to make my relief somehow appear as
detached gratitude toward Theleme, but I know I did not do this well. I never could
have fooled the queen, but I vaguely hoped to still fool the court. There was far
too much real and sincere emotion in me then...I simply could not keep track of myself.
.
The queen appeared to have no such problem. She told Theleme what a great loss it would
be, how well Theleme was loved. Then she called for silence, and made such an innocent
voice of it to be cruel when she asked me if Theleme would be acceptable to me.
.
I could only nod. That must have been her ideal trap, even though it could not have
been planned. Her supreme evil trick. I see now where her superiority did lie.
.
Once the queen had fully begun her speech concerning her great sadness at losing Theleme,
I was pummeled. They didn't have to sneak up on me, although I'm most certain that
they did. When I awoke I was back on the "turf" of humans.
.
After awhile I noticed Theleme sitting only a few feet away and sat up as quickly
as I could. I started to speak to her, but she placed a hand on my arm to silence
me, and it was only after I had taken both her hands in mine that I noticed the carefully
made stitches on her throat.
.
Yes, I knew at once what they had done to her. I knew also that, while the queen had
thought she'd won, she truly hadn't because Theleme and I were finally together.
I told Theleme this. She tried to write her response, but I had never learned the
elfin cipher, just the spoken words.
.
Within three days she was gone. We hadn't strayed far from where I awoke, so I think
she might have gone back to them. But I believe it's more likely that they stole
her away as I slept. I couldn't tell for certain whether she was happy enough to
finally be with me, or whether she thought her sacrifices had been too great, but I do know
that I had somehow managed to win her most sincere love.