Force of Nature

by Lorelie Lee Long






	"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.
		For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

						--- 2 Corinthians 4:18


	"Daddy's gonna have some of his work friends over tonight, 
honey. We better put the house in order."
	"Where'm I gonna stay this time?"
	"Your daddy wants to see you this weekend." Mama looked about as
nervous as a rabbit standing by a fox's den.

	And those words she uttered struck fear into me as well. We were
two domestic animals, sure as certain we would die by the hands 
of a wild carnivore sometime soon. Waiting for the doom held no 
promise of satisfaction or relief. I could not imagine why my 
daddy wanted to see me. He'd had no interest in me for the last 8
or so years. Why then all of a sudden? My little brother 
Jimmy-Joe had always been the focus of his attention, especially 
since my daddy had no idea as to my existence until I was 6 years
of age.

	Mama had always been a smart one. Must be what little daddy saw
in her, aside from her physical attributes of attractiveness. He 
had mated her some odd months before I was conceived, and, of 
course, she knew well and accurate what he was. She hid me from 
him until Jimmy-Joe was born, then brought me out of the closet 
-- most literally -- to introduce me. She told me that now that 
daddy had a son, he might not mind too much havin' a daughter.

	Daddy worked for Liam and Sons, Christian booksellers. My daddy 
had the whole southern region to patrol for anyone or anywhere 
needin' to purchase a bible of any description. He was away on 
business for months at a time, sometimes totalling out at a year 
here and there. His disposition was sour, and his beliefs were 
such that I often wonder how it is that he ever got or kept his
job.

	I myself have been perpetually the individualist. Might have 
something to do with my propensity to run away which appeared in 
me at the age of 10. Mind you, I did not run from my Mama. Those 
occasions when I saw fit to begone from her and my little brother
were occasions when I was to stay with my aunt Millie -- whom I 
did not appreciate as the disciplinary type she frequently wished
to resemble. The most recent such experience to the time I am 
relating to you found me caught by the police, and had my Mama 
travelling in Millie's car for a hundred or so miles to get me. 
I was positive this is why my daddy wanted to see me. I was more 
positive that I did not want to see him in regard to the matter.

	Mama and I had kept a secret about that time. It was obvious to 
the both of us that he had somehow found out. She told me a 
little bit about what I am, and all about what my daddy is. She 
said it had "become necessary" to tell me such things since 
apparently I was one of his kind instead of being like her, as 
she had hoped would be the case. You see, I had got into 
something of an altercation. No one can really remember clearly 
what happened, except they all knew it had been me who did it. 
All I remember is that I got very angry and felt that I had 
nothing to do but fight, then suddenly my opponent was quite 
seriously messed up. She had also been a runaway, and no real 
charges had been brought against me. We thought we were in the 
clear.

	
	Daddy came into the house with 3 of his work friends and I was 
summoned from the attic -- which had always sorta been my room. 
He introduced me to his work friends and made statements such as 
that he was proud of me. I learned that they had heard of the 
situation I had been in, and I learned that these were matters 
that neither they nor my daddy took lightly, though their 
emphasis on the event was a peculiar “we’re impressed” slant 
concerning my unforeseen proficiency to rend flesh. One of the 
men asked daddy what moon phase I had been born under... that was
when I chose to make a mistake.

	“Of course you understand, Mister Nesbitt, that my daddy would 
have no indication or interest in that matter since he despises 
my existence. And I doubt that Mama remembers... after all, she 
had to get things in order right quick after I was born so that 
daddy knew nothing of me until he had sufficient distraction with
the birth of my baby brother.”

	The change in my daddy was measurable, though he had never shown
restraint in his anger with me before. Mama was clearly 
horrified. The men seemed to laugh in tolerance of the obviously 
unruly child that I was, and one of them patronizingly asked me 
if I had been having nightmares. I chose then to make another 
mistake.

	“Well, Mister Young, wouldn’t you? Assuming that you yourself 
could be in such an abusive situation and at the same time in the
throes of early adolescence?” You might be wondering at my 
quotations, and how these sentences might have sprung from a 14 
year old girl who was, indeed, just budding into puberty. I will 
say briefly that Mama never raised me to be ignorant or 
inobservant. Mama and her family made certain I could attain 
books and education, though some of it was inappropriately 
advanced for my age. I was quite the savant with language and 
science, though what world history I knew I could not relate in 
a logical manner to pass through grade 4 of the educational 
system.

	The men then spoke something to my father which I did not 
understand -- that is, they used a different language -- and left
abruptly. My daddy growled at me as he left after them to get 
them in their cars. I would have been surprised and very afraid 
with that growl had Mama not already informed me that it was a 
perfectly natural gesture of dissatisfaction for his species.

	Mama was swift to action. She had understood what they said 
among themselves in that other language. I was certain that she 
was not supposed to have. She told me to run out the back door 
before daddy returned, her voice speaking as though I were about 
to be killed. She pushed a little bag into my hand and told me 
not to look at it until I was well away.

	


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