SOME DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie,
Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each
throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them
will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they
want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the
pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1
for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, deodorant,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average
number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man
says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men
kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A
man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and
she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women
somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is
vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

MISTAKES
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in
two people remembering the same thing.

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