Subject: Holiday Greetings

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday,
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion
of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the
religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice
not to practice religious or secular traditions at all...

...and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar
year 2000, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great,
(not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or
is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of
computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting
is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with
no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher
to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is
void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of
the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance
of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion of the wisher.)