Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2000 02:33:51 EDT
Well, you see, there were these two high school grads, both bums,
who on their graaduation night had promised to keep in touch.
In the broad scheme of things, that seemed likea good idea,
because the nature of bums can be two-fold...
1)the condition is usually permanent
2)the condition is depressing,
the conclusion from these conditions is that contact with another
bum would be helpful to morale, as one bum sees that he is
not the only one in such condition.
5 years following that graduation, the two bums met for a meal,
except one had changed his ways. Kirk now held down an
incredible job, had a large family, ate at all the finest
resturants, etc. And Darren, the unreformed bum couldn't
understand how his friend was now hloding down any job, much less
one as high-paying as he had. Darren explained his own
plight, of having been fired from job after job in an endless
cycle, never his fault of course...circumstances you see. Darren
finally asked the question that had been on his mind since he
saw Kirk's car..."What made the difference?"
Kirk answered that a short time after graduation, he had had a
meeting with Nate the Snake.
Darren asked who this Nate the Snake guy was...but Kirk explained
that it wasn't a guy, Nate the snake was a snake, as his name
seemed to indicate. And you see, as Kirk went on to explain,
Nate the snake was a brilliant snake, holding all the secrets
of the world, and wanting nothing, Kirk told him, Nate would
even tell you what you need to know to be rich, married and happy.
Well, it didn't take much for Darren to be convinced, so he asked
to be introduced to this Nate the Snake. Kirk didn't really
have time for an intro, But he did have a map, which he
willingly gave to Darren and wished him luck. They two parted,
and Darren decided that he would set out first thing in the
morning to find this Nate the Snake. He would have to do so
on foot though, because he was a bum, and had no car.
The next morning, early, Darren set out on foot to find this
snake, and change his life. He walked and walked, and finally
entered this wooded area nearby where Nate was located. He
took a left and could now vaguely see nate in the distance, at
the end of a long dirt road. Well, he kept, walking, and as
he got closer, he noticed two things...first, Nate was huge,
the size of a small house at least, and second, right next to
Nate, and a little out in front of him, there was a lever
there, with no markings of any kind to tell its purpose, and
he made a mental note to ask Nate about that.
As he approached the huge snake, he quietly asked if the snake was
indeed Nate. To which the snake quietly, and laxidasically
replied that he was. And it turned out, that despite his
rather imposing size, Nate was really a friendly snake. As their
conversation progressed, Nate was very open about the secrets
of the universe, especially the ones that applied to Darren's
situation. Armed with all this wisdom, Darren set out to
take over his life, but before he went, he remembered to ask
Nate about the lever. Nate told him that it was a very
unusual lever, that in fact, it would instantly destroy the entire
world, everything except the small portion where Nate was
curled up.
Darren went out, and following Nate's advice was an immediate
success. Eventually he had his own business, several cars,
including a ferrari, and a beautiful wife. It seemed to him that
the next ten years just flew by, and one day he thought of
Nate, and how he had never thanked him. At that thought, he
determined that he would make the trip to see Nate.
He was pretty sure he remembered the way there, and he made
excellent time in his new ferrari. Quickly he found his way to
that wooded area, and made the same left turn he had made ten
years before. He wasn't paying very close attention, and
some of the problem was that he remebered walking the time
before, and that long dirt road had seemed much longer the
time before, and so before he knew it he was almost on top of
Nate withhis ferrari with no time to stop...
In the split second before impact, Darren tried desperately to
think of a way to save his friend's life, Nate had done so
much for him...surely he couldn't let it end like this...and
then he remembered the lever....there it was, right in front
of him, he could save Nate! But that would destroy the entire
world...it was a tough decison in that split second, and he
stuck his arm out hoping to catch the lever, to save Nate's
life, just before touching the lever, he jerked his arm back,
unable to complete the action...and he ran into Nate, killing him.
The moral of the story is that it's better Nate than Lever.
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