Parents' Dictionary
(May 22, 2000)
AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through
labor to have sex again.
DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to orderdessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper
distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't
appreciate the strained carrots
FULL NAME: what you call your child when you are angry with
him /her
GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful
even though they're sure you're not raising them right
HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word
INPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid
INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they
do everything we say
OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings
PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies
wearing dry shoes into it
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented then yours
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by
boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing superman
pajamas
TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she
begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: to whine in words
WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house
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