Midi file now playing I believe

Funny But True

SUCCESSFUL EXECUTIVE - A man who leaves his air conditioned home, enters his air conditioned car, to be driven to his air conditioned office, where he works until he leaves for lunch in an air conditioned restaurant, then at the end of the day, rides to his air conditioned club, where he goes into the steam room for an hour, to sweat!

WORK OF ART - The radishes look like flowers, in a salad of green and tomato.
The crisp, brown roast took me hours, And steams amid rosettes of potato,
The cakes a perfection of pink and of blue, All frosted and swirled and pleated.
So what does my thankless family do? ....They eat it!

TOGETHERNESS
As soon as I enter the bathroom to wash,
My husband comes in for a shave,
And Sis in a rush, hurries in with her brush,
To be followed by her brother Dave.
I can't find seclusion, Amid this confusion,
Quite obviously, It's easy to see,
That THIS is the family room!

ORGANISATION MAN -
He knew just what she ought to do, Get organised and she'd get through,
The household chores with time to spare, To meet him neat and combed of hair,
With pipe and slippers in her hand, The children silent by command.
"I'd get things oganised!" he said,
- Until one day she stayed in bed -

TIMELY REMARKS
These times are terrible and hard, Confused bewildered, battle scared.
With rising prices, dreary news, Squabbles by conflicting news.
With problems hard to understand, Which seem to rise on every hand.
But which in 20 yrs we'll praise, As being really good old days.

A WOMANS MYSTERY
When I was 10 and you were 8, Two years between us stood.
We used to meet by the garden gate, A stolen kiss was good.
When I was 20 yrs or so, You still were my heart's queen
But grown of kissing somewhat coy, You see , you were 16.
When I was 30 bronzed and tall, With sweethearts still aplenty
I met you at a summers ball, You told me you were 20.
And now I'm 40 yrs or more, Oh time's a ruthless bandit.
But you - You're only 24, I cannot understand it!

7 AGES OF AMBITION
1. To be like Dad.
2. To be a train driver.
3. To be a jet pilot.
4. To be famous.
5. To be a millionaire.
6. To make both ends meet.
7. To hang on long enough to get the pension.

STORY OF A WEEKEND
The grass is cut, and what is more,
The fence is painted too.
Our boy has finished every chore, That he was asked to do.
His room's picked up, A pleasant sight,
His clothes, How neat they are.
Apparently tonight's the night,
That Junior wants the car!

NOW HEED THIS
If you get up earlier in the morning than your competitor, and work harder and scheme more, and stick to your job more closely, and stay up later and burn the midnight oil scheming how to get ahead of him while he's playing and sleeping, not only will you leave more money when you die, but what's more, you'll leave it sooner.

IT WORKS

You want to upset someone who hates you?
Smile sweetly and tell them you love them anyway!
You want to REALLY upset them?
When you say it...... Mean it!