The following may help someone one day:
I stood in the school hallway, amongst several hundred other girls, listening to the visiting group sing their songs. I was fourteen at the time. The music was moving, it seemed to touch me and as they sang the song 'He is My Everything', tears began to stream down my face. I was oblivious to everyone around me, it seemed it was just me, Him, and the song they sang about Him. It was at that moment I knew without a doubt, that Jesus was there for me. I've carried the knowledge of Him with me ever since. That was nearly 30 years ago. Music still plays a big part in my life and I love to sing for Him.
I've been through struggles since (haven't we all?) and there were times when the thought came to me 'what if He doesn't exist? Isn't this all for nothing?'. I've always abandoned that thought - too many things have happened in my life to make me believe otherwise.
There was the time when I was working in a bank in South Australia, young, only around 19 years of age. I loved to wander the main street of the city at lunchtimes and it was during this time that a group called 'Eckenkar Travellers' had set up a tent, to invite in prospective new members. I had begun to visit them, discussing with them my beliefs and the reason why I couldn't possibly become a part of their group. But their answers confused me and I was unsure. I went to see a friend who worked nearby and who was a solid Christian. He suggested I pray to God about what He wanted. I prayed that Friday night, that God would show me one way or the other, what He wanted me to do. On Monday, I was back at my desk and there was an envelope addressed to me. It seemed a lady from another branch desperately wanted to transfer to town and as I lived near where she was currently working, it had been suggested that I should transfer out to there. I had my answer. I could have argued and said no, I wouldn't go, after all I loved my position, but I didn't argue. Because I knew that this was the answer that God had for me and I had to accept it. No more contact with those people!
Sometime later I had a beautiful son who stayed with us for six months. One night, I went to see why he hadn't woken for his meal. My son had died. I was later to find out it was cot death. I couldn't understand why it happened - he was my first child, what had I done wrong? Those questions were answered some years later, but the point to my story at this time is that we were broke, we had little money and we didn't know how we were going to pay for his funeral. We didn't tell anyone, not even our family, but we did wonder how. I prayed about it, as I do anytime I'm in need. Some family members gave us money to help us (remember though, we hadn't told them). Unknown to us, our neighbours took up a collection throughout the whole street. The sums of money given us equalled exactly the quotation we'd been given for the cost of the funeral. When we arrived at the parlour to pay the bill, it seemed that the quotation was slightly out - by $5.00. That was the exact amount I had in my purse! God had provided for us to the exact dollar!
Some years later, I was working in a wonderful position, with a Christian boss. I'd had more children and they were growing up and I'd returned to work to help pay the bills. I was going through great growth at that time, learning much from my discussions with my boss, and I'd even joined his church. The children and I went to his family's place for meals, I enjoyed being with him and his wife as much as possible. I still attended my church too (one in the morning, one at night) and during that time I'd become friendly with a lady named Betty, who was my 'elder'. One Sunday morning, Betty took ill during the church service and was rushed to hospital. She appeared to have had a stroke. She returned home around ten days later. At my work for several days, the words 'Be Still and Know that I am God' kept running around in my head, plus 'ring Betty'. I dismissed it as fanciful thinking for a few days, until it started to drive me crazy. I couldn't shake the words from my head. Finally, shaking, I gave in to it and decided to give Betty a ring and see how she was. I wasn't sure how I was going to approach the subject but knew I had to tell her. I plucked up the courage after about five minutes of conversation and told her that I had to say something to her, but didn't know if it were relevant to her. I quoted the verse and stopped. She was silent at the other end and I wasn't sure if she was still there. I waited. Then she spoke. 'It's funny', she said, 'but that's what they were telling us about on the Friday night at the elder's meeting before the Sunday I took ill. I dismissed it as not being for me. Whilst I was in hospital they did lots of tests but they could find nothing wrong. They let me come back home but I was still very tired and needing rest. I started to spend time with the Lord and reading His Word. You are right, it's what I needed to hear.' I said my goodbyes to her, my heart gladdened because I'd listened and obeyed. But boy, was I shaking!
I try hard to listen to the Spirit now and pay attention to what I'm being told. It's not always easy - life is often so very busy and hectic - and it's easy to dismiss a small quiet voice within. But the voice becomes persistent if you ignore it, and it will eventually get to you. It will either make you annoyed because you don't want to pay attention and you'll get irritable, even though you may not understand why. It may well make you feel really uncomfortable. But, if you listen, and obey, discomfort is only momentary, and the feeling you experience afterward is one of peace, comfort and love. God is so good to us!
My final story tells you of how I met my husband - there's no doubt that God was in that too!
I'd made a mess of my life, I felt, and decided no more mistakes! I was going to stay single and bring up my children on my own! God had other ideas.....
The Pastor of my church told me I was a woman who needed to be married - I disagreed and resented what he said. A lady from the church was angry with me because she'd never been married, desperately wanted to be, and felt I'd let things go too easily. She hadn't known what I had been through, but it didn't matter to her anyway - marriage was what she was looking for! She told me of a friend who'd prayed for a husband and got exactly what she wanted - this lady was also praying and still waiting! In the same week, a girlfriend at work told me of a criteria list she had for prospective boyfriends. I thought that was rather cold and told her so. She said, no it wasn't, it's her life and she wasn't going to mess it up! I thought about these three separate and seemingly unrelated events. God was trying to tell me something.
I bought a little notebook (I still have it) and wrote down the five things that Sue used for her criteria. Simple things like not being in debt, not being a mummy's boy, his build and colouring and I added to it. I didn't want to make this easy for God and I didn't believe it would work either. I prayed over the list every night - at first sceptically and then somewhere along the line, that changed to being in earnest.
A man I performed secretarial duties for came into my office one day, some time later, and invited me to a barbeque at his place. My first thought was to say 'no', but then I remembered I was on my own now (with my 3 children) and that there wasn't any real reason for not going. I had nothing else planned. And for some reason, I assumed that others from work were going too. Later I found out I was the only one invited, but I'd already accepted - I couldn't not turn up. I had given my word - and he was my boss! On the way to his place that Saturday, I told myself how silly I was, and I shouldn't be going. What would I talk to him about? I hardly knew him. My eldest daughter (all of 8 at that time) asked me who was I talking to?
I was shy on arrival to his place, but Graham was easy to talk to and his two daughters were excited to meet us. I was impressed with the neatness of his home, and how well brushed his daughters' long hair were. Graham had prepared a lovely meal, salads, marinated meats. He spoke easily on many things. I had already determined before arriving that I'd stay a decent time before leaving to go back home (2 hours) but before I knew it, it was teatime and the kids were begging us to stay longer. My girls and I arrived at midday, we left at 8:30pm that night. It didn't take very long to discover that Graham already matched 11 out of the 12 criteria I'd set! God was certainly telling me something! Of course, number 12 did get matched too. I never told Graham about the list until sometime after we were married. He didn't get to see it until a few years ago. I still use that notebook to write criteria down for all sorts of prayers - it's become my prayer book. I wish I'd let God choose my partner all those years ago - but things wouldn't be as they are now, would they? Perhaps I had to go through some rough things to really appreciate the husband that God picked out for me. I only know that I could not possibly love anyone more than I do Graham, and I couldn't have chosen for myself a better partner. Graham is more than I asked for, but then God frequently does give us more than we ask for - as long as we listen and obey.
Kathie
These pages last updated 28 September, 2001