The Malaysian version of Titanic will have Awie, Erra, Edika play Dawson, Rose and Carl. This grand epic will do the Malay movie industry proud and will be directed by Yusof Haslam. This brilliant film is called "Pulau Kapas". Pulau Kapas is the name of the ferry that will take our star crossed young lovers from Butterworth to Pulau Pinang.
Awie will play a poor drifter, who is an artist and can also write bad rock songs. He will be on the top deck of the ferry (the pedestrians and motorcyclists are all on the top deck). Erra and Edika are on the bottom deck in his fancy Proton sports car bearing Penang plate PEN 15. (Edika, by the way, is the son of a big time datuk and Erra's mom lost a lot of money in Sime Bank shares).
The two fall in love and in one scene Awie and Erra stands at top deck where people normally jump to commit suicide. And because this is in Malaysia, the closest thing to shagging is a music video of them probing the top deck and not each other. Then just like the Titanic, tragedy strikes. A rogue toxic tong left by Indah Water gets caught in the ferry's propeller! Oh no! The propeller blows up and the ferry takes in water.
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!
The ferry starts to sink. The people panic and jump into the sea. The life jackets on the ferry are so old and reput that none of them work. And they lower the lifeboats. But wait! There are no lifeboats. The sea is so polluted that 70% of the passengers who jumped into the sea die on the spot.Those who don't die bob up and down in the water looking like an orang minyak horror story gone bad.
Other ferrys do not see the sinking ferry as the haze is back. Awie grabs a piece of floating banner which reads "Caruman EPF Untuk Masa Depan Anda". This was thrown in the sea earlier by a disgruntled EPF contributor (marginal side plot). For once EPF is used to save someone's future rather than ailing companies (subtle political message by Yusof Haslam) and Awie lets Erra sit on it. Erra gets wet - which is the only sexy moment of the movie (promo posters will have this picture to attract all the yellow bellied horny gits out there) before another tragedy strikes. An obor-obor stings Awie and he dies. His last words were "Jangan lepaskan aku"...and "Ouch" before slipping into the sea. Finally, some tongkang pendatang haram from Indonesia come and saves Erra. Sad ending and all the audience cries.
Ending credits will include the Ziana Zain song: "Jantung Ku akan tetap berdenyut" which she will sing in her normal dress which is 3 sizes too small.
Copyright 1998 Joey