Top Ten Lists

Top ten reasons not to clean the house

10. It'll just get dirty again.
9. No one comes over anyhow.
8. The cat needs attention.
7.I cleaned it last month.
6. My horoscope said to take it easy today.
5. I just did my nails.
4. I'm out of coffee.
3. I can't find the vacuum.
2. PMS

And the number one reason for not cleaning the house is...

They're playing all of the "Rocky" movies on cable!!

Top ten reasons not to go to work

10. The light bulb in the spare room needs changed.
9. I have a paper cut on my finger.
8. I won $20 on a scratch off lottery ticket.
7. The house is a mess.
6. The cat has a hairball.
5. They don't pay me enough anyway.
4. The weather's too nasty.
3. The weather's too nice.
2. PMS

And the number one reason for not going to work is...

I stayed up too late watching reruns of "Happy Days"!!!

Top ten reasons to stay single...

10. Tax refunds.
9. One less person to clean up after.
8. I don't have to share anything.
7. I can hog all the blankets.
6. I can watch what I want on TV.
5. Noboby knows I still sleep with my teddy bear.
4. If the toothpaste lid is left off, I know who did it.
3. I don't have to hide my candy.
2. PMS

And the number one reason for staying single is...

I don't have to worry about the toilet seat being left up!!

Top ten reasons to not stay single...

10. Another income (assuming he works).
9.Someone to clean up after me.
8. He has to share everything.
7. It's no fun to hog all the blankets without someone to hog them from.
6. Someone to watch TV with.
5. Who needs a teddy bear?
4. If the toothpaste lid is left off, I can blame someone else.
3. He can buy me candy.
2. PMS

And the number one reason for not staying single is...

I look damn good in a wedding dress!!