The Inside Story
Here we go with the big long explanation
of what Wild Roses means. It's not simply something I found in my
garden. It has a lot of meaning to me.
First you might wonder why my address is
pinkcastle and not Wild Roses. Wild Roses was already taken, so
was almost every other name I tried. Pinkcastle was about my 100th try, I was
desperate to get going with this site. Years ago I used to play around with a CB
radio. The base station was called "Bluecastle", I tried that and it was
taken too. That's where pinkcastle came from.
As for Wild Roses this is how it
grew....
One night I was mucking around with my
laptop and decided I needed a personalized screensaver. I wanted to create something
that everytime I saw would remind me of my roots, where I come from, who I am, where I
want to be.
Funny, someone at work smiled when they
saw my Wild Roses screensaver and asked me what it meant. Before I answered
the person said "I know, it is you". The person was close, very close.
Here's what it really means.
It really means Wild | Roses...two
separate and distinct thoughts, two individual lives or beings, two polarized frames of
mind.
| Wild is the |
Roses is the |
| ~ struggle keeping
my sanity in a crazy world |
~ calm before the
storm |
| ~ life that I crave
that I'll never have |
~ "white
picket" fence life I do have |
| ~ fun, even
outrageous things I'd like to do |
~ responsible life
I lead |
| ~ excitement of the
unknown |
~ familarity with
my surroundings |
| ~ madness of not being able to make up my mind -
if you know anything about html, just take a look at the code on some of my
pages, you'll see what I mean :-) |
~ satisfaction and determination when I know
where I am headed |
So you
see, Wild Roses means a lot to me. Everytime I see it I feel a little
unsettled - like I need to get moving on making my life what I would like it to be - to
achieve the goals I have (n't) set for myself. Like time is running out.....
If I could press that
"change" button, 
the
one that would transform me into someone else, would I press it?
I don't think so. I
wouldn't want to change who I am. Now if it would let me make big changes to my life
that would be a different story.
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