What's Life all about?

"Contemplating"

I am laying here on the loveseat gazing out a big picture window at the big Russian Olive tree in my backyard.  That tree has grown sooo much since I moved in here a few years ago.  It was about 9 feet tall.   It's grown to be about 25 feet tall. 

I am attached to that Russian Olive...I turn to it when I need to escape.  I am watching the way the long, slim, silvery leaves twist in the wind - it is alive and it has character. 

It makes me think about how much it has grown...and wonder "how much have I grown?",  "how much have I changed over the years?", "have I changed the way I wanted"?

It made me think of the page here on my web site (in the Art to Contemplate section) called "Children Are a Work of Art".  They are!!!

I started thinking about all the changes we go through in a lifetime.  The different stages of our lives.

When we are very young we see things literally.  You touch, it burns, you learn.  Young children take things at face value.  People make decisions for them.  It's not until we gain more experience that we are equipped to make our own decisions.

When we are young teens we tend to take things for granted.  We haven't quite learned that "to get, you must give", "to be loved, you must love".  I want, I want, I want, I am therefore I deserve, He/She has, so I must have.

Only as a young adult do we realize that life is not quite so simple.  We have to work to get what we want out of life.   We are forced to make decisions.  Yet we have still not gained enough life experience to make sound judgement calls.   If we make a bad call we are taken to task for it.  Sometimes those bad calls haunt us for the rest of our lives.

Somewhere around our mid 20's to mid 30's we get caught up in trying to stay above the quagmire we've created for ourselves.   Running, running, running...we're so busy working to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.  You think that this is "what life is all about", just deal with it because they're nipping at your heels.

Then, as time goes on after your mid 30's you start to take time out periodically to ask yourself "Now, what IS life REALLY all about".  "Is this it?"  You say "Lord no, it can't be".

You realize time is starting to run out.  You either learn to accept what and who you are, or you make a decision to take the big leap into a new self.  But, you have made decisions before and this is the life you ended up with.  If you're not satisfied with the life you have, and want to make a change, how do you know the next decision you make won't land you up in the same place.

Have I changed over the past few years?    Yes!
I have come to understand that we don't have complete control over our own destiny.   But I wonder "should we?"  Did our maker intend for us to have more control over our destiny?  Should I take the big leap?  Am I satisfied with my life?  Should I push for more?  Or is that the child in me saying "I am therefore I deserve"?

Do I know "what life is all about"?  No.   I don't think I'll ever know "what life is all about".

Just another battle of the Wild Roses :-) 

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