Jokes
| Hey there, here's my collection of funny quotes. At the moment, this is all I got, but I'm trying to find more and more. So if you have some funny stuff I can put in here, just send me an e-mail, OK ? |
| Customer |
Will I be able to put this wallpaper on myself ? |
| Clerk | Oh, sure. But I believe it will look much better on the wall. |
| Waiter |
I have boiled liver, smoked tongue, and pig's feet. |
| Diner | Stop telling me
your troubles. Just bring me the menu ! |
| Why
does a bear have fur coat ? Because it would look silly in a raincoat... |
| What
would happen if you swallowed a soup spoon ? You soon wouldn't be able to stir... |
| What
does an elephant has that no other kind of animal in the
world has ? Baby elephants |
| Why do
birds fly south for the winter ? Because it's too far to walk... |
| Why
isn't a good idea to go for a walk on an empty stomach ?
Because it'e easier to walk on a sidewalk... |
| What
animal can jump higher than a mountain ? Any animal. A mountain can't jump !! |
| Why do
little girls prefer to walk home instead of taking a bus
? Because they know that if they took a bus, their mommy would make them put it back. |
Why do
little boys take a ruler to bed with them ?  Because they want to find out how long they're asleep |
| Why
would I be surprised if I found celery growing out of my
ears ? Because I've been planting carrots... |
| What
has a hundred legs, but cannot walk a single step ?
Fifty pairs of pants |
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