---

i hear the words, but they don't seem real,
you're a woman now, you have a child.
so if i don't i'm not
and there are those who walk around like i'm missing out
and i used to walk arouind like i knew someting they didn't
now i don't know if anybody knows anything
except the expectations that were put on us
not by us but by those who were here
before it was different and now
it's like it is but
that doesn't help me figure
out who knows what and who's
right here and
who's gone like
i am and
if it even matters anymore
but i think the difference is in my
head
right
wrong
wrong
right
right now
tomorrow it may be gone and
so will i.

what will be left will be different
and i will be in your head and
you will be my memory
of a long lost song that i once knew the words to,
but now I search for new ways to feed my soul and
i can't calm down enough to hear you cry my name
so i won't answer anymore and you will be alone
wondering if anybody knows anything except what once was
and is no more
but the future is the same because nobody knows
and the past is known, but only in your memory
so it is not
and my memory is not your memory
but tomorrow i will be your memory so the past
will not be the future anymore
but it doesn't even matter in your memory of me.

---

by M.E. september 1996