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Angel of Joy Barbie. She's earned her wings, slipped the plastic coil and gone on to a better place. The suggested price is a heavenly $69.99 |
Some months ago, I wrote a column about a product I just couldn’t believe was on the market: a joint venture between Mattel and MasterCard called Cool Shoppin’ Barbie, a variation on the popular doll aimed toward children as young as three. Well, the folks at Mattel have outdone themselves this Christmas. Among the packages crowding store shelves around the world is a new line of collectable Barbie dolls, and one of them is called Angel of Joy Barbie. That’s right, Barbie has earned her wings, slipped the plastic coil and gone on to a better place. The suggested price is a heavenly $69.99, although you may not find one locally: none of the 28 specialty retailers identified in a Mattel press pack were located in this province. If you do find one, I’m not sure what one would do with a saint-like Barbie ... say a few Noxemas, I suppose. In any event, I’m sure next year there will be at least another Barbie that will raise eyebrows. All the same, I bet there are some Barbies you will never see on a store shelf near you. Here’s my list this Christmas: • Intern Barbie — she’ll help your kids keep up on current affairs; beret, thong underwear and cigar are optional. Faux Friend Skipper, meanwhile, comes with hidden recording devices and a bad hairdo. Optional Ken Starr doll, like the Energizer Bunny, keeps his investigation going ... and going ... • APEC Barbie — she reflects the look-at-me activism of ’90s youth, with ripped bell-bottom jeans, Gap shirt, tie-dyed vest, and hair all the colours of the rainbow. Mountie Man Ken comes with a pepper-spray canister, which has a tendency to be self-pumping. • Mossad Barbie — this doll will introduce your kids to the world of international politics. Comes with a Canadian passport. Gaza Strip Skipper and Kosovo Ken complete the set.
Ship Inn Barbie — a doll for the older, more sullen girl. Comes with all-black wardrobe, mini Doc Martens and pint glasses. • VLT Barbie — this cutie comes with her own video lottery terminal and roll of loonies. The optional playset is a near-empty bar which can hold up to five machines, with reserved seats for Co-Dependent Ken and 12-Step Skipper. Notice how Barbie’s eyes lose focus the more she plays! | • Mount Pearl Barbie — this doll sports the popular wind-catching Mount Pearl Curl hairstyle. Accessories: sweats, windsuit. Her boyfriend — deputy mayor Steve Ken — has the keys to the timeless Gravel Pit Camper. • Dart League Barbie — she comes with board, darts and of course a strong forearm. Fun by the tun! A little extra spent for a dabber accessory creates Bingo Barbie. • Ship Inn Barbie — a doll for the older, more sullen girl. Comes with all-black wardrobe, mini Doc Martens and pint glasses. • Repressed Memory Barbie — you never know what she’ll say when you pull the cord! Appears on Skipper Jesse Raphael’s talk show. • Little Barbie Marcos — this doll lets you indulge your fantasies to the limit: collect all 600 available styles of shoes, and quash that extradition order. Playfriends include Barbie Doc, a Carribean dictator doll. • Barbielonia — a playland from ancient times, Barbielonia allows players to forge a dynasty, invent agriculture and hang out at the mall. • Tower of London Barbie — Get medieval! She comes with chains, racks, axes and the popular vat-o’-fat for keeping Skipper and Ken in the true faith. • Bay Street Barbie — this doll has her own power suit, digital cell phone and ThinkPad notebook computer. Walks right over Homeless Skipper without blinking. |
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