Back to work, though not till late - I've swapped shifts to allow a colleague to go to the dentist's. Sooner her than me. We have the usual run of virus outbreaks, and more than a few people who still don't get the concept of email, not phone, and certainly not come stand over the desk and hover till we're off the phone.

Use the time I'm tied to the desk to play catch-up on jobs that have been open since the beginning of time, and badly need updating.

The anti-virus software glitches that have been bugging us since August are finally resolved, by the issue of a service pack. Funny how they're only now admitting that there's a problem.

The management issue a cellular circular asking how much work we do in the Dec 24-31 period. They're only closing for the statutory holidays, Dec 25, 26, and Jan 1. We reckon we ought to get some more time off, as there's genuinely no work to do over that period. We shall see.

A decently quiet day, doing some further testing and wrapping up problems.

This one's spent cleaning out some kit that is old. Very old. We take the executive decision to scrap anything that's five years old, or that we're advising people in the field is beyond economic repair. It's hard going, but we get a lot done.

The old and disused stuff is left lying about in the yard, and we have to tell more than a few people that it doesn't work, it's probably dangerous, and we really can't be held responsible for any harm that might come. And that we're retaining rights, so it would be theft. Not that this disuades the more determined.

Another day cleaning out the old schtuff. And trying to convince people that this is a) really old schtuff, b) generally not working, c) dangerous, and d) still company property. But we crack the worst of the rubbish, leaving just minor peripherals and leads to the rest, next week.

It's the company "Christmas" do tomorrow, and one of the events is a quiz team. (Stop laughing behind your hands, Messers B, D and G. They don't know what's going to hit them.) I had the idea of re-arranging the players' forenames into an appropriate anagram. That was yesterday: today, we have an extra member. That doesn't stop the most appropriate bits - NINA EYELASH and NINE YULE JAPES - from carrying on. And the newcomer has a "T" in his name, allowing me to make jokes at the expense of "Tony" - say, Tony Blair. This is almost as much fun as the quiz itself.

So, the annual excuse for grown men to make a fool of themselves, at the office "Christmas" party. Service is painfully slow, the food is B grade but no better, but the main pain in the butt (quite literally) is the papier mache pellets that are flying around. Mainly fired by men of a certain age, using pea-shooters that are clearly a substitute for *something*.

We lost one team member to the flu, so eventually took the name JOY BE UN II SHINY PLANET. While there were a few very badly worded questions, they didn't affect the outcome. We still beat the senior manglement team. But I could do *such* a better quiz next year. Use computer display technology to stick the words up as well as read them out, add in sound rounds and picture clues at the drop of a hat.

The episode of Hong Kong Phooey where he investigates some railway bandits. They go around tearing up the track and stealing all the trains and hiding them for their own private use. Rhinestone Jim Shady, the villain, is a typically English character. Compare and contrast with Richard Branson, Stephen Byers, and the other villains of the great British railway farce.