Weather: Wet, wet, wet. 13.

Travel: The 0635 runs before the London train (and will do through the week). Erroneous reports that the cross-city South isn't running prompt me to take the bus up. Then visit platforms 2, 3, 6, 7, 12, and 8 in search of a train heading north before returning to 3 for the FNW to Holyhead. It's 20 minutes with nothing heading north.

Jeff:
when I point out to people how stupid that sounds they often say "Don't be so politically correct." and I say, "Since when is it a bad thing to be CORRECT?"
Politically or otherwise. Being correct, being accurate, being right.

"Politically Correct" is actually a term first coined by Rush Limbaugh and even most conservatives know what a stupid windbag that chump is
That's an insult to stupid windbags. Not that anyone in the UK knows what he/she/it is. (OK, a few people know. Not many, though.)

The "PC" label is basically a way for people who feel comfy in their ignorance and who have some sort of affection for their bigotted, inaccurate language to put down the beliefs of people who dare to call things what they actually are.
"Political correctness" has a bad press here in the UK, thanks to a rabidly right-wing popular press, and some comically left-wing politicians about 15 years ago. The term has a tendency to stifle potentially valuable debate - there's a scandal brewing over false allegations of child abuse that isn't being questioned because it's a "politically correct" campaign.

But, in general, Jeff's point seems to hold.

Weather: Showers, strong winds later. 11.

Travel: Another Tuesday on the 1642 from Longbridge, running about 12 late. A brief check at Northfield, and a longer wait for a platform at New Street. Miss the 1657 to Wolverhampton (20-ish late) by moments; go for the 1710 stopper (10 down already) but it's AWOL, and hit the 1718 to Edinburgh, which leaves with me 4 late. Time to catch the 1745 bus back.

nieske:
It's an Artificial Intelligence project, about ChatterBots. ChatterBots are computer programs that try to act like they're human, and try to have a normal-ish conversation with people.
Can we say, "Turing Test"? And hasn't some MegaCorp put up a huge prize for the first program that passes the Turing Test? Could this be a lure..?

which is basically why the main purpose of this contest is fun. Yep, of course it has a lot to do with AI, but fun is definitely a huge factor as well.
This sort of thing can be jolly good fun. Blinkin' hard work to program, you have to have just the right amount of fuzziness in the response algorithm, and a foolproof grammar checker. Some suggest it's easier to pick the grammatical template of the response first, then flesh it out with appropriate words. Others reckon on the important words first, then the structure, and that brings the whole field of semantics into play.
Great stuff. That URL again: http://geocities.datacellar.net/d_cowart/Bots.html

Weather: Cloudy, some heavy showers. 10.

Travel: Vermin to and from London are totally up the spout, thanks to dodgy power lines. The 610 arrives at 637, and stops in Wolverhampton. With Vermin vanishing, it's the stopper into town.
The 1702 is also AWOL, so the bus into the city centre. Then 1729 to Stafford (3 late) and 1804 from Walsall (also 3 late.)

This was always going to be my last day at work before the solstice, thanks to an accumulation of leave and a requirement to take it before the end of the millennium. Things were always looking a bit dodgy, with a quart of work to do, and only one-and-a-half pints in the day to do them.

Then the unexpected happened. The Boss and her boss, Top Mouse, had a bit of a contretemps. The Boss storms through the office, slams the door behind her, and goes on the phone. Five minutes later, Top Mouse calls us into his office. The Boss has resigned, and the rest of us are deep in the mire.

We bang our heads together, and work out a coping strategy to Top Mouse off the top of the bang. TM's knowledge of computers is limited to the on-off switch, so it's going to be care-and-maintainance until a replacement can be found.

The surviving computer types set about work with a purpose. No more than 15 minutes later, TM calls us back. The Boss has unresigned, Top Mouse has declined the previous resignation, and the normal chain of command resumes.

The lesson that The Boss takes, I suspect, is that no-one is totally indispensable, even her. The lesson for Top Mouse is to hold his tongue, accept that stuff will happen, and trust us a little more. The lesson for me, it appears, is that The Boss is more of a drama queen than previously thought, and that we can do things with a little forethought.

Sometimes, someone has to do something drastic for change to occur.

Jadea
This seems to be my motto in life...nothing can happen with me calmly or without drama it seems...the live in Chanss, leaves saturday! Hurrah!
Anne Robbieson writes: Well, you paid your bills on time, which counts in your favour, I suppose. But you never left the toilet seat down, you never quite grasped the concept of vacuuming, and never really got to grips with basic manners. While an ex-husband may have been the worst we've seen, he left in a previous round, and you *are* the weakest live-in. Goodbye.

But he's determined to have it out before he goes
What?! He's *finally* going to take off his undies while he showers?! Some mistake, surely.

and I refuse to have any part of it.
Good call. Whatever it is, he can keep it in till he leaves. Good manners, dontcha know.

my only other option is to tell him about Heather and I don't want to hurt him like that when he's leaving anyway
While bluffing is generally to be depricated, it would be politic to conceal a new relationship at this juncture.

Weather: Sunny, with the odd shower. 9.

Travel: Not today, it's the start of my Christmas break.

Fat Lady Sings! It's been 37 days since the US went to the polls. Britain can hold a complete election campaign in the time it took for the other side of the Atlantic to count their vote. At 2am, Al Bore (Democratic Party) appeared on WORLD and other networks to confirm that he's stepping aside from the Presidency, in favour of George W Shrub (Cheat.) There was never an attempt to discern the actual winner of the election in the hotly-disputed state of Florida, merely obfuscation and delay. I can't call Shrub the President, as he has not been elected in accordance with the rules. The best he can hope for is for the title of President to be declared vacant on January 20, and Shrub to be deemed Anti-President, in the same way that pretenders to the Papacy were known as Anti-Popes. It's *slightly* more respectful than "Shrub, the Plant with the Pot."

Top tips for train passengers.

#1 Do not wear bright yellow shirts after dark. They will attract attention to you.
#2 If you must violate rule 1, do not have thin dark horizontal stripes on the shirt. You will only look like a rolled barrel.

#3 If you must eat while travelling, do not purchase smelly food. Cheese, garlic and onion sandwiches may be fine for a summer picnic; they are singularly inappropriate for a rush-hour train in winter.
#4 Remember your manners. Do not eat with your mouth open.
#5 Do not eat noisily.
#6 Do not lick your fingers after finishing your sandwich and go "mmmm." Ms Manners would have a fit.

#7 Do have your ticket to hand when the conductor comes. Reaching in your pockets is quite reasonable. Rummaging through six bags will tend to delay the train needlessly.
#8 If you do not have a ticket, you will be charged an over-the-odds fare. This is the rule of the road. Deal.

#9 Holding hands across the carriage may be cute, but it does block the path for other passengers who might actually want to leave and free up a double seat for you.
#10 Snogging before 9pm is a complete no-no.
#11 If the person at the window turns their head to look at someone on the platform, the person in the seat next to them will also turn his head to see what the attraction is. He may or may not be thinking the same as the person at the window, especially if it's a particularly attractive person outside.

#12 The train will be late, dirty, overcrowded, expensive and noisy. The conductor can do nothing about any of these matters. Please don't ask him, as it annoys conductor and fellow passengers alike.

#13 Do not bring dogs on the train unless they are in a cage. Having mutt hairs on the seat, or a pooch slobbering around one's ankles, is wholly unacceptable.

#14 Travelling by train makes one cranky. Deal.

Weather: A cold start, sunny, 6.

Travel: A shopping trip into Birmingham; scheduled to connect with the 0929 FNW, but it's 8 late, and routed via Bescot. The 0939 from Aber is packed with students, and would arrive before the FNW had it not been held 5 in the tunnels outside New St. Grr.

Right, who had Sheffield Uni in the Looniest College In The Country Sweepstakes? Coz you are the winner.

The winning entry in the top plonker competition was the self-righteous cabal in charge of the student's union there, who imposed a blanket ban on the entire work of Eminem on the grounds of homophobia and misogeny. Apparently, his recordings break the Union's "Gay Friendly" and "Equal Opportunities" policies. His records have been evicted from student station Sure Radio, will not be reviewed or featured in uni rag The Steel Press, or even played by the club DJs. The trash rapper is still played on MTV in the bars, on Radio 1 in the offices and articles on his opera are still available in the shop.

Now, I hold no candle for Mathers. I find his work reprehensible, and of similarly low quality to Westlife. However, I find it even worse to hear that some self-inflated twerps should think that it's appropriate to bar his records.

At what do they think they're playing? Did Mr Inem consider the moral strictures laid down by a small, insignificant uni in the north of England when he was recording? Will their puny attempt to "protect" the minds of their peers not corrupt them further? Indeed, what does the panel think?

Weather: Sunny, cold. 6

Football: Terry Venables guided Middlesbrough to a 1-0 victory over his old club Chelsea and away from last place in the Premier League to lift the gloom hanging over the Riverside Stadium. A deflected shot by Dean Gordon 19 minutes from the final whistle ended a run of eight losses in nine games. Chelsea has not won away this season in the league and has gone 15 matches without a win away from Stamford Bridge going back to March.
The result lifted Boro two points above Bradford, which went down 2-1 at Newcastle.
In another game between strugglers, Coventry lost 1-0 at Derby, the Rams winner coming after nine minutes from Malcolm Christie.

Ipswich remained third after coming from behind early to beat Southampton 3-1. After James Beattie had given Saints a third minute lead, two goals by Alun Armstrong on his home debut and another by James Scowcroft handed Ipswich the three points at Portman Road and put George Burley's team within a point of Arsenal.
Leicester remained fourth, two points behind the Gunners, by beating Charlton 3-1, also after falling behind early on. Finnish striker Jonathan Johansson gave the visitor the lead at Filbert Street only for Ade Akinbiyi, Matt Elliott and Arnur Gunlaugsson to win the game for the Foxes.
Sunderland stayed fifth despite going down 2-0 at Leeds United. Lee Bowyer and Mark Viduka got the goals for David O'Leary's team.
Aston Villa twice hit back to salvage a 2-2 tie with Manchester City at Villa Park after Alf Inge Haaland and Peter Kennedy had netted for City. Dion Dublin levelled the first time and David Ginola scored the second equalizer with a 25-yard volley.
Everton and West Ham tied 1-1, Danny Cadamarteri putting the Toffees ahead at Goodison Park but Frederic Kanoute levelling for the Hammers.
Danny Murphy scored in the 43rd minute as Liverpool defeated Manchester United 1-0 Sunday, the league leaders' first loss at home in a league match in nearly two years. Arsenal rescues a point in the last minute, tying 1-1 with Spurs.

The standings: MUN 40 ARS 35 IPS 33 LEI 32 LIV 30 (+1) ... BRA 12 (-1) MID 14 (+1) COV 15 (-1) DER 16 (+1) MCY 18
The points: MUN 1142 ARS 1108 IPS 1070 (+1) SUN 1053 (-1) LIV 1044 (+5) ... BRA 876 (-1) COV 890 (-1) MID 909 (+2) MCY 920 DER 940

Just over a week ago - Thursday at 4.06pm to be precise - a lawyer emailed a friend in what she thought would be a private exchange. By this weekend, she was facing a future of notoriety as Britain, not to mention the rest of the world, united in a new sport: the search for Claire Swire. Miss Swire sent an intimate email to fellow solicitor Bradley Chait at a London firm. The flattered Chait could not resist forwarding it to six male friends. Who sent it to others. Who sent it to others. Etc.

By Thursday, literally tens of internet users around the world were trying to track her down while embarrassed executives at Norton Rose laid disciplinary charges before five employees. Miss Swire and her boyfriend are in hiding from newspaper journalists, reluctant to acknowledge their new-found status in internet history. Neither was at work Friday and Chait was absent from his north London flat. Norton Rose bosses have yet to pass judgment on the affair, out on the internet the court of public opinion is already in session as forwarders add their comments to the original email. Many have deleted their names from their contributions, though it seems clear that the judges are splitting down gender lines.

Miss Swire's original remarks and the bawdy joke that inspired them remain a mystery, as I must be the only person in the world yet to see this mail. We do know that it's all about doing a Monica - and that's not talking Geller. Chait's original e-mail to his friends: "Now that's a nice compliment from a lass, isn't it?" The cad - or cads - who passed it on: "I feel honour bound to circulate this."

Weather:

As promised, my considered thoughts about the latest twists in the US election. I'm not calling it a result, yet, as there's still a month between here and Inaugration Day, and if there's one thing we've learned from the events so far, it's not to rule *anything* out. It's certainly too soon to declare results this side of the Electoral College vote result, scheduled for Monday the 18th. Given Dick Chainsaw and Jim Cakeburner's flirtation with persuading electors to go faithless in 1976, this would be poetic justice. Much more at http://politicalgraveyard.com/ However, I'm concentrating on what *has* happened. Remarks are in six sections and a conclusion.

1) The Equal Protection Clause

Let's start with the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment. This is the constitutional provision that protects minorities against official discrimination. In this week's case, the US Supreme Court invoked this Equal Protection Clause to protect -- well, that's a major unclear area. The majority opinion makes clear that the rights at stake are those of voters, not of candidates.

So which voters are the losers? To whom is a recount unfair? The court doesn't spell it out, but there are only two possibilities: those who are excluded from the recount, and those whose votes were already counted correctly before the recount.

This newly invented constitutional right, the right to an equal chance of having your ballot counted correctly, will keep the justices *very* busy. There are vast differences in voting systems and accuracy among states and within states. They are clearly now all unconstitutional. What sense does it make to address the problem of inaccurate vote counts by requiring any given group's vote count to be just as inaccurate as any other you can point to? The result will be a round robin of lawsuits dragging every vote-counting jurisdiction down to the lowest common denominator.

The majority opinion also suggests that allowing a recount would also be unfair to those whose votes had already been tabulated correctly. How? By "diluting" the value of their votes. This is total baloney. Every recorded vote dilutes every other recorded vote equally, whether it is recorded initially or after ten recounts. Unless there is something independently wrong with counting your vote, how can it be unfair to me just because it dilutes the value of mine?

Lest we forget, it was the Republican party machinery, Katherine Harris, the Republican Florida legislature, and the Supreme Court itself that prevented the uniform recount that might have met the justices' Equal Protection standards. Counting votes by a mishmash of different standards would produce a more accurate result than not counting them at all.

The Republicans also went on at great length about changing the rules as the count went on. What was this week's court battle, if not changing the rules part way through?

2) The Stopped Recount

Last week's ruling in Florida, to have a partial recount, was the first opportunity to produce a reasonably fair resolution of this dispute. Republicans had a valid point that it was unfair to have a recount only in Democratic counties, though they themselves had refused to request recounts in their strongholds. Democrats had a point that it was unfair to freeze the election at an artificial moment when thousands of ballots that might contain legal votes remained unexamined. Florida law clearly provided them with a recourse - hand counts - and the Republican strategy was a very simple one: stop any additional votes from being counted.

The Republicans may well have won such a recount. The recounts in Republican counties would have produced new votes for them; and the number of Gore votes that could be found in Dade County might not have proven sufficient. Had Bush won in that way, almost all Democrats would consider him to have won legitimately. Had Gore won in that way, I doubt the same could be said of the Republicans, so invested had they become in the idea that Bush has already won. Even a Gore victory would have had more legitimacy under such a process than any victory can have now.

3) The dodgy lists

Back at the start, I mentioned the Equal Protection clause. There is a massive problem with voters being turned away from polling stations. While Florida is entitled to make its own laws on exactly which convicted criminals are not entitled to vote, Equal Protection demands that these laws are enforced fairly. To farm out the compilation of the list of those disenfranchised to a private company raises suspicion. To have that list riddled with twice as many errors as any similar list in other states is bad. For that company to refuse to discuss the way this list is compiled is profoundly anti-democratic. It's abundently clear that this had a bearing on the Florida election result, and I submit that the entire state ballot should be thrown out as unconstitutional. It's a shame that the Democratic party preferred to concentrate on trivialities, and didn't seek to annul the entire process.

4) The flawed mathematics

The Dimpled Chad problem is only a problem because political commentators tend not to be mathematicians. A mark on a ballot might indicate an intended vote. Or it might be the result of an accident. There is no other possibility. Accidental marks, being accidental, will distribute themselves around a ballot randomly. Each candidate, major and minor, will receive pretty much the same number of accidental marks.

A candidate who receives more marks than some other candidate can have done so only through the active choice of the voters. Thus, if someone does eventually tally up the "undervote" ballots in Florida, and if, say, Gore comes in first, with Bush second, followed by Nader, Buchanan, McReynolds, and so on through the list of candidates, there can be only one possible explanation, logically speaking. The explanation must be that voters chose to vote in that fashion.

The United States in general, and its Supreme Court in particular, has messed up over a simple logical error. The ballot counters merely have to tally up all the marks on the ballots and not worry about the intentions of the voters. The unintended marks will cancel each other out, and the intended marks will register differently for each candidate. In short, a hand count of all marks will show the voters' intentions willy-nilly.

This is *exactly* the standard that is used in elections in the UK. Ballot counters are instructed to determine the mark. If it's clearly for a candidate, add it to that candidate's pile. If it's not clear, stick it in the "dubious" box and the Returning Officer will make a decision.

5) The other states

This hasn't been a problem confined to Florida. There are 50 other states and territories to consider. By making a big issue of equal protection of the right to vote for president *within* Florida, the Supreme Court ignored the lack of equal voter protection from state to state. Because of the winner-take-all feature, Electoral College votes favour big states more than they do little ones, and really screw medium-sized states. Montanans have the least relative voting power, Californians the most. A Californian enjoys two-and-a-half times the voting power of a Montanan and 72 percent more voting power than the average voter nationwide. After California, the states with the most Electoral College clout are: Texas, New York, Florida, Pennsylvania, and Illinois. After Montana, the states that have the least voting power are Kansas, West Virginia, Maine, Arkansas, Utah, and Nevada.

Presidential voting rights are distributed very unevenly. A straight-up nationwide popular vote would make every voter's ballot count the same. Even reform of the Electoral College to mandate the distribution of votes in proportion to votes cast would reduce this iniquity.

6) The role of the court

This week's court decision has solved little, clarified nothing, while discrediting and ruining all the contending parties. The law has become politics by anti-democratic means.

The dissents are so strongly written that they rob the Court of its moral authority and its ability to bring closure. They empower the Florida court with arguments against the heart of the ruling itself.

Nothing will now persuade a large number of Americans that there was not some kind of fix in the original Florida vote. Had it gone the other way, which in the expressed opinion of some senior justices, it should have, the Republicans would have claimed that Albert Gore was trying for a constitutional coup, which he still may.

Moreover, had the Florida court said that truth is more important than timing, and ordered a recount of the whole state, all hell would have broken loose. The day - less than two years ago - when President Clinton told a Grand Jury that: "It will depend on what the meaning of 'is' is," now seems like a moment of the most refreshing candour and clarity.

7) The conclusion

So, what has all this taught us? The main lesson I'm getting is that the Supreme Court has finally become government by other means. An unelected, unaccountable government, but government it is. And, like the rest of government, it has *completely* flubbed its responsibilities.

I said a few weeks ago that I'd be happy to accept a result following the natural completion of a count. That count has not been completed. The rules laid down before the election have not been followed, and Florida has certified a potentially inaccurate result. As a result, I am unable to accept the legitimacy of the Republican tenure of the White House. So far as I can see, the presidency will fall vacant at 5pm on January 20, not to be filled for four years.

Justice has not been done. Justice has been seen not to be done. Perhaps worst of all, there's a huge gap where the USA's constitutional guardian once stood. Make no mistake, this has been a disaster for everything the US likes to think it stands for.

The Charts

#1 #4 Bob The Builder - can we fix it?
#2 #2 Eminem - santa
#3 #1 Destiny's Child - independent women
#4 #3 S Club 7 - never had a dream come true
#5 #6 Baha Men - who let the dogs out

new
10 Robbie Williams - supreme
19 Kylie Minogue - please stay
21 Craig Phillips - at this time of year
42 Jennifer Lopez - my love don't cost a thing
45 Green Day - warning
55 Billie Piper - walk of life
89 Keith & Shane - girl you know it's true

upwards
#8 12 Madonna - don't tell me
#9 10 Tweenies - number one
15 17 Westlife - my love
17 23 Wu-Tang Clan - gravel pit
23 27 Sisqo - incomplete
25 33 Da Mutts - wassup
27 35 Jay-Z - i just wanna love you
29 31 Toploader - dancing in the moonlight
32 36 Lenny Kravitz - again
34 47 Mya - case of the ex
35 49 Creed - with arms wide open