music lives
jun 2

Allan
Just watched Music Live
Ah, what a finale that was...
BBC ONE, BBC TWO and Radio Five Live combined for a round-the-country live rendition of "Perfect Day."
Radio Two played a CD version of the song, featuring a lot more singers. That will be in stores next Monday.
Radio Three had a live broadcast from Glasgow of a choral rendition of the piece.
Thanks to the miracle of having lots of radios and a television in one room, I could hear all three versions unfold at once. R3 started about 0.8 seconds ahead of the other two, finishing a little further ahead. Dead dead cool.

Radio One played a wretched Verve record. Chuffin' stupid prats. And their signal is so badly compressed it's painful to listen. Compare and contrast: That Annoying Northern Bimbo On Breakfast (loud, rackety, muddy - and that's the audio) versus Sir Alex d' Lester (quiet, clear, calm.)

Lou Reed still cool!
Duh.

Sporty Spice still a mess!
Sporty is not a mess. She's still recovering from being upstaged on ver Pops by Lisa TLC back in March.

immigration
jun 4

Bridget, I think
Immigration is always looking to weed out the cheats and frauds who think marriage is an easy way into the country, and so there's safety checks and all sorts of shit along the way to make sure you're all legit.
So, how many of these "cheats" and "frauds" are there? Tens of millions by the sound of it, just as many as The Party claims are attracted to Britain. (Must be the warm beer and stale cucumber sandwiches. Can't be the welcoming government.) It does make it very difficult for genuine cases to gain acceptance from The Powers That Think They Are. Far too difficult, in my experience.

To digress a little, this highly welcoming attitude - not as imposing as Australia sounds like, but not a million miles away - would have cost Britain my talents and tax take had things panned out according to the script. To digress further, looking back over that script shows clearly that four or five actors in it can be faulted for their actions. I only got to share stage time with one of them, and that was only for a moment. Still, the diva's loss is her loss, I can't really hold it against her, and On continues to be Moved.

My apologies to those of you thoroughly perplexed by the latter digression, this does refer to something I'd rather discuss in terms even more oblique than usual.

Over to Tim
When you consider that Australia takes 20,000 migrants a year, and America about 100,000+, it makes you think that American Immigration must be swamped.
I'd hope that the US team would be five to six times the size of their Australian counterparts. Indeed, given the delays mentioned elsewhere, I'd hope the US system is twice that size again.

Sara
(a year and a half is a long time to wait..I should say here though that there WERE reasons for such lateness
Oh yes, such a superlative business plan.
1) The government decided to speed up the transfer from one system to another ahead of schedule.
2) They did this against all advice.
3) It backfired badly on them.
4) Loads and loads of people were sacked over this.
5) Actually, no-one has so much worked a minute of overtime.
6) And it's costed Johnny Taxpayer a packet.
Conclusion: draw your own.

Certainly, until The Party "improved" the service, it would take four to six months to settle a "simple" immigration case, though long cases could well drag on for years and years.

1 ) they moved buildings, and that set things back by 5-6 months they figure
Pah! Moving buildings sets back the private sector by about one day.

2) something si wrong with ther computer systems.
Their shiny, new, NT computer systems. That's at least four things wrong already.

that, supposedly, set back our application by an entire year
How much compensation have you applied for? Where's the number for Sue, Grabbit and Runne?

people say that it usually takes 2-3 months to get your stuff back here)
It did, when the government let the services get on with it.

They also say that there is a SLIGHT chance that there will be too many immigrants this year, and that we might have to wait till next year or the year after.
So, the US government is so well off that it can live without Ross' tax dollar, or Sara's goodwill?

I also have to get Toby on my passport, something which will cost 40 dollars
You could also get him a UK passport of his very own, yours for about 30 quid and good for a full ten years.

The Brendan-n-Vic saga.
is there anyway you can talk to the embassy and see if there's a faster way to get it done? maybe tell them that you don't have a place to stay now, and see what they say?
Alternately, or in addition, ask the local council about their social housing. And about benefits to support an independent life. No-one likes asking for charity, but this is exactly the sort of thing that The Public (ie me) expects to see resolved with a little injection of The Public's funds.

Seriously, go see the council, or housing trust, Monday, and keep knocking on official doors until you find someone who will help. To allow this situation to fester would be a scandal.

I don't know how quickly Brendan, or even you, could get a visa to work over here
Brendan can work today, thanks to EU freedom of mobility laws. Not sure about Vic, though cash-in-hand jobs tend not to ask too many questions. Not that I'm endorsing breaking the laws, mind.

suppositions
jun 4

Usha V. Wadhwani, welcome
arent we supposed to talk about the tv show my so called life?
[vic racine mode: on]
"Supposed to."
"Supposed to."
Did you learn nothing from the greatest US television show of the last decade? If everyone did what they were supposed to, the world would be a far, far more boring place. Everyone going round in their perfect little circles, doing what everyone else can anticipate them doing. Angela's hair stays red, Graham stays in his job, Rayanne is dead by episode ten, and Brian dates Sharon.

Supposed to is not good. It ruins the spontaneity of life. It keeps people on a treadmill. Toothpick?
[/vic racine]

can someone tell me whether my so called life might have a reunion?
Nothing is impossible, nothing can ever be totally ruled out. This, though, comes very close to impossible. It's not in Claire's interests to continue harking back to the uberteen role; it's not really in Jared's interests to return to his role. With two of the leading talents out of the running, any reunion epi would be chocolate teapotty.

Paulo
(though in the case of Claire, getting a MSCL reunion right now might actually be a high point in her career).
Ree-yow! Catty! It is too long since Claire's had a classic role, but how many 21 year olds have had one epoch-defining role, let alone two. And the buzz over on Planet Claire (the mailing list) about "Flora Plum" is quality. Helped by the director's most recent project, "Gladiator."

An AOLster writes
i am a long time fan of the show. do you have any idea where i coudl get the box set of shows?
Try your local large video store, assuming you live in the North American market. Though the videos were deleted some months ago, there may be stocks floating around.

Sade
What kind of a teenager would Danielle have 'ended up' as? A Sharon? A Brian? A Rayanne? None of the above?
There's a close affinity between Danielle and Sharon. Just look at how they bond in "Hallowe'en." That would be an influence on Danielle, and probably the biggest. She might be more wayward than Angela, but nowhere as wild as Rayanne. Other than the crush on safe, unthreatening Brian (teens these days use the Backstreet Boys to similar effect) there's not much between the pair.

music 1995
jun 4

Move fans will be pleased to hear that my transition from there to here went off without too many hitches, and I'm now settled back in Codsall. One of the downsides of moving is that it's never easy to unpack. A tape helps, and this one came from late summer 97. Highlights included
"Step To Me," the classiest Spice Girls track ever. So far, at least.
"Gotham City," R Kelly from the only decent bit of "Batman And Bobbins," the soundtrack. Not even Uma Thurmann's boots can save that picture.
"Tarantino's New Star," the moment North And South hit it. They were a boy band made for a tv drama, a prototype S Club 7.
"Semi-Charmed Modern Life," Third Eye Blind's relentlessly cool hit.
"Some Kind Of Bliss." Strewth, Kylie's pulled out a corker and no mistake.

call and answer
jun 6

Random* thought. Given the number of cooking programmes on tv, shouldn't there be at least one washing-up programme?

So I was minding my own Monday business when the phone rang...

Me: Hi, how can we help?
Caller: I've left a message, no-one's got back to me, can you help?
M: Sure, what's the problem?
C: I'm looking to buy some ink cartridges for my printer. Can I do it centrally?
M: May I ask who's calling please?
C: [name], from [some way away].
M: It's certainly possible to source these centrally, but the lead time is some weeks, and it would be significantly cheaper to source them locally.
C: I don't care, I've looked everywhere. I've called my school's suppliers, and they want to sell me reconditioned cartridges.
M: Have you tried calling the manufacturer?
C: No.
M: You could try that, or the store you purchased your computer from.
C: But you don't advise coming centrally for cartridges.
M: No, we don't.
C: I see. Thank you.

The caller obviously couldn't bother to get off her butt and go into a store, or even pick the phone up and make a few calls. No doubt she'll call Da Boss moaning about how she's treated like a piece of spit.

Speaking of Da Boss, there's something slightly unexpected when she turns up with hair dyed a deepish shade of red. It might just match my bag. Of course, the "we'll be able to spot you in a crowd" remark came straight out. Something of a Pavlovian reaction, really.

governance
jun 6

Tim
We're talking Government here, Iain!
And the point is..? Merely because governments have got a rep for being slow to the point of ossification doesn't mean that I can't expect - nay, demand - the highest possible quality of service from them.

In Australia, they take about 20,000 migrants per year, which isnt a hell of a lot. Despite that, it took us a month and a half just to get an appointment, and the actual visa application will take about 9 months to process.
This is, it goes without saying, utterly unacceptable. A case of the powers having their cake and eating it.

If the Australian government wanted to, they could throw a few more people in their offices and get our scrawny little application through much, much faster.
And they don't because...
a) they'd rather spend the money elsewhere, or
b) they know that the concept of national citizenship is becoming increasingly irrelevent. As I see it, it doesn't matter much what colour your passport is, or even that you have one. People are free agents, entitled to locate where they want. Communities - existing governments, perhaps, or something else - might attract people in with low taxes or high care benefits.

We've tried the century of nationalistic big government, and look what it gave: two world wars and one massive "communist" bloc. With a little bit of luck, this coming century will be more atomised, smaller communities - the places that look to London, those that look to Cardiff, Edinburgh, Dublin, Belfast, Leeds, Birmingham - might all be able to form their own policies.

Smaller, more democratic communities, and smaller government. I wrote last time about the need for social projects, such as housing for people who are going spare in their situation. But is it reasonable to subsidise [insert policy that winds one up most] in that way?

top television
jun 7

TV awards. Nicking Shanobi's categories would be a good idea, only not everything is appropriate. Skipped categories are coz I can't fill them.

2 -- best music/score for tv show:
Original: "The Tribe". Almost Snuffy-like, but not quite.
Compiled: "Buffy" S3.

3 -- best new show:
"The Priory." Zoe & Jamie team up again in a madcap hour. Catch it now, before it goes too far off the boil.

4 -- most improved show:
"SM:TV Live." No-one remembers season 1, partly because it was opposite Zoe & Jamie, but mainly because it was as bad as everything else ITV had aired for five years. Suddenly, the summer breathes new life, there's "Challenge Ant," "CHUMS," and "Wonkey Donkey." Weak elements remain, not least the reliance on Japanese fads, but this is now the cutting edge of TV.

Honourable mention to "Have I Got News For You" S21. Starting with a satellite link to Paris was genius, and Hislop's back on form. At last.

Shanobi suggests Dawson's has improved: I'm yet to see it. The plots are still cliche-ridden, the acting isn't up to much, and there's still a lemon stain on every single frame.

5 -- show i feel like i should watch but don't:
"Charmed" S1. Saturday nights are just so darned inconvenient.

6 -- show i shouldn't like but do (shh, don't tell):
"Grange Hill" S23. It's not been quality for a couple of years now, but I keep watching, waiting for the return of quality.

7 -- show i completely stopped caring about:
"Futurama" S2. Maybe it's because I missed the first season, but this just doesn't gel. Guess I'll have to wait for the re-runs. "The Simpsons" on the BBC (S1-6). Familiarity breeds contempt.

8 -- best/worst tv stunts:
Best: "100 Greatest TV Moments". Gripping stuff, genuinely fascinating from beginning to end.
Worst: BBC CHOICE. Even on a limited budget, the channel could do so much better than repeating the same shows three, four times a night. If the Beeb can't do it properly, it shouldn't do it at all.

9 -- best comedy show:
Intentional comedy: "CHUMS" over "Friends" S5-6 by a mile.
Semi-intentional comedy: "zero30 / Liquid News" over "Buffy".
Unintentional comedy: "Today At the Test" in South Africa. Mark Nicholas could be a great stand-up comic yet.

10 -- best drama:
11 -- best ensemble cast:
"The Tribe" S2. See remarks previously, and below.
"Cold Feet" S2. It's a shame the US adaption flopped.

While this is probably the only time these two works will be equated, they have a lot in common. All about life and living, a talented cast, sensitive scripts and uncommonly good direction.

12 -- best actor/actress:
A close race, going to Jennifer Jewell for Danni in "The Tribe" S2. I've raved about this show a lot in the past, suffice to say that it really is worth watching and sticking with. The whole cast has a lot of potential.

15 -- coolest wardrobe:
Back to "The Tribe" S2.

16 -- best canceled show:
The great thing about British tv is that the series are six episodes long, so shows only get pulled if they're utterly dire. Thus, the concept of a good cancelled show is alien.
So, taking "cancelled" in the US sense, I think I go with "Dilbert", almost by default.

17 -- best dialogue:
Go "Buffy". S3 was the cracker, especially the eps running on TWO now. "Angel" didn't quite do it for me.

18 -- most overrated show (is this your final answer?):
"Coronation Street", "Eastenders", "Emmerdale", "The Bill", "Casualty". The five ratings grabbers of British television are all total turn-offs. There's better acting in a paper bag.

Shobi on US-Millionaire
so slow & annoying (thanks to Regis) that I slip into a coma.
Regis does an OK job, but Chris Tarrant is the business. The show was created for Tarrant, and anyone else just doesn't have the same strengths.

I don’t know if Alex Trebek is right & the questions on Millionaire are too easy compared to Jeopardy,
Apples and pears, let me compare thee. It's not a fair comparison, and Treebark knows it.

I do not understand how or why it is such a ratings juggernaut when there are countless nuanced & interesting ongoing series out there to choose from.
It's drama. Pure, unadulterated, almost unedited, drama.

The rest is cryptic, to avoid spoilers.

21 -- best fight sequence:
The one in "Lover's Walk" (Buffy S3.) It's great. I'd cross the Atlantic to see it again.

22 -- best death:
Kenny McCormick, "South Park" passim.

24 -- characters that have grown on us the most:
Ebony in "The Tribe". Spike deserved better.

26 -- best cliffhanger:
Season-ending award to "The Tribe", on the grounds that it's the only one I've yet seen. Honourable mention to Chris Tarrant and his ad breaks.

On What's The Attraction mode, Mark
I have always maintained, and indeed still do, that "The Bill" has been consistently good throughout its decade-some run.
I will agree that it was reasonable at inception, when it was a sessional drama, but it lost quality when it became a soap some years back.

I stand by what I say in that "The Bill" has been consistently good.
Perhaps I dislike it because it's become a ratings banker for ITV and so has to play very safe. If smaller viewing figures were expected, the edge might return.

Tarrant is, by far, the best at [Millionaire]. It's somewhat reminiscent of the types of contests Tarrant did on his morning radio show on Capital.
Did? Does, more like (:

The 'bomb' quiz
As nicked by Capital's Birmingham outpost as the "bong" game. Same rules.

and more obviously the Birthday Bonanza.
BRMB promotes as "The Birthday Bonanza." Must have been stuck for a name, there.

There was also that quiz where contestants would wager their winnings on multiple-choice questions of increasing difficulty.

I'm sure a television adaption of that would work really well. It might even sell overseas. Let's have Pamela Wallin host, give away a million tax-free dollars, and call it "Cash Mountain."

On US-Millionaire -v- US-Jeopardy!
I think the difference in question difficulty may be a reason for this.
No, there's a more fundamental difference. J! rewards swift recall of knowledge, and a really wide knowledge base. WM doesn't have the time pressure, and slants towards a deeper knowledge of fewer fields. One can only test so much in fifteen questions, rather than the 50-odd of a J! show.

Millionaire questions in the UK are far more difficult from those I've seen on the US edition.
They're only easy if you know the answers.

Tension can only be built if the people have a real chance at losing as well as winning.
Which is why the tension dissolves after the milestones, then comes back again. Great theatre.

Angela
Why oh why must people be horrid and mean about my beloved Corrie!?
Hey, it's not just Corporation Street that has me reaching for the zapper.

I know, it may not exactly take place on this planet,
In fairness, it doesn't really claim to, either.

unlike traditional soaps
Trans-Atlantic divide. Corrie is the traditional British soap. Running since 1960, about the third-longest established non-news show.

it has a lot of humor, enjoyable and faster paced storylines, good tension, and silly fun.
Yet it still grabs on to two hours (and more) of precious prime-time space. It's safe. It's unadventurous. It's not going to bring in new viewers, and that's bad for ITV.

Allan
Yes and dont knock the Bill either! Its cool, Bottom line: I don't like it. I don't think it's an appropriate use of two hours prime-time television each week. However, nine million people disagree with me.

Twelve million people disagree with me on EastEnders. One of them is shimelle.
Not many other shows have the connection power from screen to public that is so evident in Eastenders, Corrie, The Bill, and Casualty
Read: not many other shows attract viewing figures that big. It's only the size of the BARBs that cement their place in the tabloids.

There was practically a nationwide collective gasp when Matthew's verdict was announced. And I'm sure I'm not the only person who crossed her fingers for a entire week that Sam didn't get killed when he some casualty patients went a bit off their heads.
Two highlights in a sea of mediocre, sometimes ludicrous plots with gaping holes so large one could drive a coach and horses through them.

And a "nationwide gasp"? Sounded more like a collective yawn from here.

they get a big old high five for keeping the british tradition of casting people that look real, not following the new trend to emulate the physical casting policies of the imported programs.
This is true, this is valid, this is To Be Applauded.

my own personal final call - I would so do an audition for Eastenders, or for the rest. In fact, since The Bill has more jobs than practically anything else in the entire performing industry, I better hope for it! And then 10 years later people will see some rerun on UK gold and comment on how young I looked. See, these shows do great things for the world!
As I say, people like these shows. I was happy when they were on twice a week, and "Bill" and "Causal" were on for 13 week runs. It's the overkill - four episodes a week, spin-offs from all the shows - evident over the past ten years that has elbowed other, more varied (and commercially unattractive) shows to the sidelines. More importantly, the quality of the writing and acting has suffered terribly. What were once television showcases for British repetory theatre have turned into money-spinning machines for the networks. Take this week's events on Corrie. Grossly melodramatic, and (according to workmates who watch it) totally OTT.

[For the benefit of those who see the show some years later, I'm not saying what happened.]

punkas
jun 10

Well, it certainly sounds that Emmy has had a fun few months since we last spoke. Glad to see her back, as ever.
*i love all that loud angrey feminist stuff, not that i have anythign against guys* but riotgrrl music isnt publicized so much and i hate to spend the RISING cost of a CD when i dont know what i'm buying. any suggestions anyone??
Leafing through my collection shows...
* Shampoo, "We Are Shampoo" and "Girl Power." Jacqui and Carrie live life to the full. [1994, 1996, Food]
They inspired...
* Kenickie, "At The Club" [1997, EMI]
* Bis, "The New Transistor Heroes" and "Eurodisco" [1997, 1999, Wiija]
Some you might grow into... moving away from loud, punky stuff into more acoustic, quiet territory
* Alisha's Attic, "Alisha Rules the World" [1996, Mercury]
* Amanda Marshall, eponymous and "Tuesday's Child" [1996, 1999, Epic]
* Shakespears Sister, "Hormonally Yours." The sound of Marcella "Lay Down Sally" Detroit and Siobhan "I Used To Be In Bananarama" Fahey treating men like something else. [1992, London.]
* Macy Gray "On How Life Is" [1999, Epic]

And thence to Jamie
Iain, have you heard Rosita yet? (Marie du Santiago and Emmy-Kate Montrose's new band) They have a new EP out, they're supposed to be excellent.
I've learned not to judge too heavily from 30 second clips, but I'm very hopeful for the project. I'll reserve full judgement till I've heard them properly.

school life
jun 10

Angela
until funding is not "earned" by test scores, until parents make students responsible for their actions, until teachers have some means to discipline that won't involve either the police or the civil liberties union, things will continue to rot
Things might be bad in the UK, but the litany of anecdotes here makes my jaw drop. This is all taking place in one school, right? I claim gross mismanagement, by a head who probably wouldn't last a week here.

Cutting severely...
a teacher turned his head around to face the board. He called the police claiming assault
Which, I believe, would be correct.

they took the teacher away IN HANDCUFFS.
Here, that would be an over-reaction. I'm not sure about practice amongst the Californish.

A student charged up to a teacher and menacingly growled "I'm gonna kick your fucking ass".
Also assault: putting Sir in fear of actual bodily harm.

When the teacher complained to the Powers That Be, the teacher was told a) "You have to be more understanding, he has anger management problems" and b) The teacher was asked what HE had done to PROVOKE the student.
A) is inexcusable. Child needs to be removed from the situation.
B) might form part of an investigation, if asked in a "did you do anything that might have provoked," rather than an accusatorial "you did something, what" manner.

until we produce the greatest number of idiots in the free world (we may even have that record now, I don't know).
It's probably held by China or India, on account of their much larger populations. There will be some bad eggs in a clutch of 1.2 billion, according to the law of averages.

Speaking of bad eggs...

Tony Blair Booed Off Stage By Women's Institute Members
It's Jam, Jerusalem, And Humiliation For Bemused PM

The Women's Institute invited Prime Minister Saint Tony to address their national conference this week. He was asked to speak on the issues they were addressing. Only the PM veered off into Politics with a capital P, and was roundly booed by the assembled throng. The WI, commonly caricatured as a bunch of doddery old ladies with blue rinses, thus proved to be the most hostile audience Britian's chief has ever dared address. It's almost certain to be the last contentious audience he'll speak to for a very long time. Cherie Blair is reported to be very pleased that she won't have to suffer her husband's wafflings.

The WI is 83 this year. Tony Blair's poll lead is 7.

world millionaire
jun 12

Sam on FI-Millionaire
Well the finnish version is quite easy too ... (except few hard questions of varying kind) good example would be
The classic film Casablanca is set during which war
A World War I B Vietnam War
C Korean War D World War II
so the guy who got this didn't know so he called a friend That's what the lifelines are for.

his friend didn't know either and then he answered wrong so maybe the finnish versions quality is good enough compared to the participants knowledge and all :) j/k
Or maybe all the contestants are not all that good at war movies. In the UK, that would be around question 6, GBP 2000.

tegdriB
Eddie is a bit of a psycho, if you ask me, and he rambles incessantly and he thinks he's funny and he's not.
He thinks he's a good presenter. He's not. A cardboard cutout could do better, really.

about 3 weeks ago they introduced the "new, faster Millionaire!" which sports the full 15 questions.
Oh, good. You get to hear the First Five music properly now. That's a way cool piece, almost as good as the simple Million Pound Music.

Then Paulo, on ES-Mill
I don't know if I'm actually a super-genius or something (no smartass answers please),
Paulo did not disgrace himself on Brighton-Mill over new year.

Some sample questions that people couldn't answer:
1) Oscar Luigi Scalfaro was president of which country?
Not obvious until you think about it. I'd put it as A Payoff Pitch (Q10, 32 grand)

2) François Mitterand was president of the french ... Republic:
A: Second | B: Third | C: Fourth | D: Fifth
One would need to be a student of European political history to know that. It's not everyday knowledge. Diamond Dozen. (Q12, 125)

3) Brazil does not have terrestrial borders with:
A: Mexico | B: Colombia | C: Argentina | D: Uruguay
For the UK, Q 6 or 7. (2-4 grand) Given Spain's stronger historic ties with the region, perhaps earlier.

Kati
Oh, the Hungarian host is so dull, too. He is the host of 90% of the quiz shos in the country,
Am I ever glad they never considered Tony Slattery...

he is like m-e-g-a-s-l-o-w and a-s-k-s e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g t-w-i-c-e t-o make the show flow really slow and so have more advertising space.
Pace is good. Move quickly through the boring bits (the early questions, or any time there's an actuary on the show :) and linger where the drama is. Going slowly - so slow it's obvious - is bad.

the german host is sooooo good!! He is fast, funny and cool. It's longer, they have 3 or 4 contestants in each show, it's 60 minutes, while the hungarian is 30 minutes and only has 2 or 3 people playing.
They still at 30 minute shows? How quaint! We moved past that for series 3, back in March 99.

It's also interesting to look at the prize of the different country shows. In Hungary it's 25 million HUF (Hungarian forints) which is about 85-90.000 USD, the german show gives 1 million DEM which is about 450.000 USD and the US edition gives 1 million USD (right?). Interesting, huh?
Right. As and when it's given away, the British show will claim the largest prize ever given away in the world, a tax-free one million pounds (US$1.53 million.) The US winners pay something like 40% capital transfer tax, thus making the Canadian million more valuable than the US million.

Has anybody won the grand prize so far anywhere?
For those who read the JS Millionaire summaries, but haven't seen the one for 6/13, go off read it now.

That will say why there have now been five winners of the Fifteen: four in the US and one in South Africa. There have been other winners where the number of questions is smaller, but we (that's the alt.tv.game-shows contributors) don't count them.

Over to Paulo's posers
>One would need to be a student of European political history to know that. It's not everyday knowledge. Diamond Dozen.
6th question in the spanish version... (yes, sixth one!!!)
Sixth?! Freakin' heck! It's a question that makes one think, but 6 is way too early.

Why am I starting to have the impression that the english version is slightly easier than the spanish one?
Not really. I think the questions you asked are more part of Spanish culture than English. For instance, Canadian provinces and Australian states are not uncommon around Q11-12, while they might not crop up in Spain.

credit
jun 14

Jonathan on credit cards
Notice the interest rate on it. Probably close to 20%.
'Scuse me while I clean up the coffee stains. 12% is the going rate in these parts, 10% is not hard to find. 20% would incite questions from the watchdog bodies.

But the advice remains. Consider the cost, unless you're darned certain you'll pay off the bill in full every month without fail.

Well, my understanding of the major management philosophy of schools is "get high test scores" and "don't get sued."
English schools have the first compulsion, but replace the second with "don't get labelled as a poor school," which has similar implications.

if they don't get high test scores a) they don't get any money b) they no longer have a job and c) parents are up in arms about the lousy education their children are getting
If they don't get good exam scores here, a) the inspectors pass a bad report, b) the head might lose his job in a few years, and c) parents bleat about how the school is failing Wayne and Kylie without thinking about their role in their children's education.

(an education they are unwilling to subsidize by passing bond issues to raise salaries and improve facilities.)
This, though, is the crucial difference. Education is funded through a very messy process, involving central government giving money to counties who take off a central slice and give the rest to schools according to a hugely complex formula. It is, though, (very) roughly equitable across the country. Much as I'd love to get my teeth in and rip the mess apart, the US model is not the one to adopt.

lawsuits are an incredible problem ... C) they generally get misrepresented by the press
The main part of the Complex Funding Formula is the number of pupils. If a school gets a bad rep, for accurate reasons or total lies, pupils might be attracted away. Most schools have someone watching their media interests, pointing up "positive" achievements in the press, and trying to suppress the stuff that the head thinks looks bad.

Kent Greene: in memoriam
jun 21

The Wookie
It is my sad duty to notify the group that my ex-lover, Kent Greene (the Mr. Katimski of the list) has died.
Of all the people who crossed the threshold on the so-called list, Kent Greene personified "My So-Called Life" more closely than almost any other contributor.

Everyone always knew where Kent stood, and where they stood with respect to him. Kent identified as a black gay man in NYC, and had so much pride in every single one of those adjectives that we can never forget any of them.

The soubriquet of "Mr Katimski" was fitting for this most gentle of gentlemen. He had the patience required to show understanding of almost every opinion, while quietly yet forcefully sticking to his own guns through all adversity.

Kent did not require the curtain of privacy, preferring to live his life in the exposure of publicity. Often, my mailbox would contain a Kent-A-Gram detailing the latest injustice perpetrated against him, or against those many causes he held dear.

This railing against social injustice was perhaps the defining characteristic of Kent. Being content in his own situation, Kent would stand up for the little people, give them shelter, and nurture them through the difficulties. And never, never give up.

It's a real shame that I never got to meet this great man, but I know that his positive spirit, self confidence and zest for life will remain a shining example for us all.

town and city
jun 22

Mark
Ahh, but you're failing to realise one very vital point - the term 'city' is being used in the American sense.
Pah. Not content to destroy culture, these United Stations attempt to re-write the English language. Susie Dent would not smile on this.

Pittsburg, KS is tiny in comparison to Brighton, and also has no cathedral - the 'real' criteria for city status.
Ah, but if the place is officially designated a city, a city it is. For all I know, Pittsburgh is; Brighton, most emphatically, was not.

Therefore, although Shim-City III was subtitled "The Millennium in Marktown", it still remains Shim-City proper.
So, am I to take it that Brighton now holds out no hope of gaining city status in the current round of bids? Because it's Brighton -v- Wolverhampton, and (quite frankly) there's no contest. Good to see good sense reigning on the Sussex coast.

[Overseas readers are reminded to tie their tongues firmly to their cheeks for three of the previous four paragraphs.]

exam bloopers
jun 22

Allan
Q - "Sir, Theres no more questions - Does that mean its the end of the exam"
No. The final question requires the candidate to examine his/her contribution for grammatical errors.

Q "Sir - Which exam am I sitting?"
A How does one answer that!
By silently closing the exam paper, drawing a circle round the exam name using the pen all good teachers carry in their shirt pocket.

Q - "Can I go for a wash please sir?"
Q - "Can I go to the toilet Please Sir?"
Q - "Sir - Can I go outsied please I'm having a hot flush!"
No, non ac nein.

Q - "Sir - are you an Inspector"
A - "No I'm an official" - That gets them!
Even better, say you're from the Inspectorate of National Standards in Education ... INSTEAD

Q - "Sir Can I 'av some pens - Its just I woz at me bruvvers and I kind of lost em I dont know what... Its really unfair coz I ...."
Here, have a pen, and spend the last minute on your paper.

Q - " Sir I know I'm an hour late but can I sit the exam as my mom didnt wake me up"
No. You're only allowed to be 15 minutes late.

royal weeding
jun 22

Dunja, 1853 UTC Tuesday
Guess what I'm watching now? Sky news
This is your first mistake. I would normally point you towards BBC WORLD, only at that time they were off air. The power had failed at TV Centre, the emergency backup generator had blown up (quite literally, in a kaboom! kinda way,) and the channel was relying on tapes of last weekend's movie review show.

and the big breaking news is Camilla and Charles are engaged
Er, no they're not, writes an authoritative source in the Court Circular.

Hey they have a hole 20 minutes of gossips,
Don't get this kind of rubbish on the BBC! 20 minutes of speculation piled on suspicion piled on a fundamentally flawed analysis of the situation.

hey is that news or what..
Or what.

Angela
Really? Engaged? I'm wondering what our British/Scottish/Irish listees think about this
It's not fact. Not a happening event. Hasn't been anywhere in any paper, nowhere on the BBC, nor ITN, IRN, Reuters, AP, AFP...

and the whole monarchy thing in general.
So long as power is vested elsewhere, we may as well keep it.

I remember when the queen stubbornly refused to allow her sister to divorce (or at least reading about it - how long ago was that?).
Late 60s, IIRC. Though there was some broo-ha-ha about Margaret marrying a divorced Army captain in the early 50s.

I am still laughing about the Queen's choice of Christmas gift for her staff - a fruitcake apiece.
Yeah, but it is a really good Christmas cake. And a big one.

Kati
people want gossip, and this is HUGE gossip.
Nah. This is just a frantic attempt by a discredited pseudo-news organisation to distract attention from the England football game. There was more truth spoken when BBC NEWS 24 was going Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

You want real royal gossip? Birtney Spears' comments on Prince Willierm's birthday yesterday.

What were the comments? Sorry, time's up, gotta fly... Allan
The whole question of having a divorced king puzzles me, ok he will be head of the church of England,
Always assuming the church hasn't been disestablished by then. Though the voices opposed to this move are loud, the antidisestablishmentarianistic viewpoint is coming under increased attack, and accusations of pseudoantidisestablishmentarianism, in an effort to gain votes and popular approval as measured by focus gropes and spinners.

Non-native speakers are advised that exactly one word in the above sentence is deliberately mis-used.

I am not overly fond of Camilla but she's an improvement on Diana!
In the same way that banging one's head against a brick wall is an improvement to banging it against a lead wall.

Its conveniently forgotten that she was being slagged off in the press shortly before she died,
Regular viewers will know that I've stood by my conviction that Ms Spencer-Windsor had been attempting to maximise her media coverage for some years, and that her demise merely concentrated a year's press coverage into a week.

They're all a burden on the taxpayer, but at a choice between Queen Camilla and President Blair, Camilla wins every time!
Ah, but who's to say we wouldn't have an independent candidate come forward to split the political vote. Step forward President Wogan!

two for today
jun 25

"Yellow" by Coldplay. Sounding a little like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, a little like Catherine Porter, but a lot like themselves, "Yellow" is a work of art that seems insignificant on first listen, less insignificant on second, and positively gripping on tenth. The single is on sale Monday, the group appears on Radio 1 this coming Wednesday.

"Reach" by S Club 7. There are fans of the icy Scandinavian pop, and there are fans of the clappy Spice Girls sound. Somewhere in the middle lies S Club 7, and the first single off their second UK album, "7". Though radio has proven unreasonably resistant to the charms - and proven popularity - of the seven, one only has to listen to the nine-note upward sweep of the bridge to be caught up in the infectious chirpiness of "Reach." It may not quite be of the same quality as Gloria!s track of the same name, but it's worthy of the title.

birtney's vid
jun 25

Judy
there comes something in my mind I always wanted to ask you in the Britney Spears video "oops I did it again" she says to this guy "but didn't the old lady drop it into the ocean at the end?" know?
Yes, I'm rather familiar with the clip, as it appears rather a lot on Liquid News. (As edited by former Broom Cupboard-ite Josie D'Arby. The Broom Cupboard: 6 million viewers. Channel 5's launch youth programme: 350,000. Liquid News on BBC CHOICE: an audience measured in double figures. That's using the Carol definition, not the Richard.)

I keep wondering what old lady? what end? is it from a fairy tale? a film? something else?
Yes. The guy was originally to be Leonardo di Caprio, but the various people couldn't arrange a suitable filming date.

does it actually make sense?
It's a reference to the end of the film "Tit & Ick." Whether that makes sense or not is your call. That is, though, a definitive answer, based on the press releases from Birtney's promoters.

just gay enough
jun 25

Betsy
All a guy really needs to get in the goods with Betsy:
1. Nice hair (but not high maintenance hair)
2. Good conversation skills
3. Is goofy or can at least put up with goofiness
4. HONESTLY doesn't mind if a girl eats a lot
5. Likes to dress up and go out to dinner
6. Is witty, but not "make you feel stupid" witty.
Quick cut to a review of "The Next Best Thing," the Rupert Everett/ Madonna vehicle opening in the UK this weekend. The Grauniad review suggested that the basic concept underlying that movie is that girls want to date emotionally literate men who eschew some of the typical male attributes and stereotypes. Men who are Just Gay Enough.

GIrls, what do you think a guy really needs to get in the goods with you?
So, what's the link with Betsy's list? Emotional literacy covers 2, 3, 4, and (arguably) 6; JGE 1, 5, and the rest of 6. Gay men may be disqualified on the grounds of having high maintenance hair, and are eliminated on the implicit bedroom gymnastics requirement.

And guys - um...we really dont care!!!
Charming. Won't tell you what floats my boat, then. You'll never see if you missed out on something. (Hint: no.)

plurimi obBuffy
jun 27

While I'm under no obligation not to spoil Radio 4's continuous documentary, "The Archers," I am expected not to give spoilers for other programmes. So some of you will just have to wonder why I was jumping up and down with mirth when Rubbish-With-Pigs said that she would employ Anya in her new shop. It's just the sort of shock that will do good things for RWP.

Angela
The ex sent me a boxed tape "Containing the pilot episode you WERE NOT supposed to see!" In it, Buffy had brown hair,
Yum.

Zander was Zander but he looked different (hair more tousled),
Very yum.

and it had a completely different Willow. I'm imaging they changed Willows as they couldn't imagine the Willow they chose having any kind of romances because she was fat.
Pulling my very well thumbed copy of "Slayer" off the shelf (the unofficial UK-based guide,) I find a review of the pilot. We're led to think that Riff Regan was replaced more because she's not a good acter, rather than anything else.

There was a different principal too- Steven Tobelowski (sp?).
Ned the Insurance Man from Groundhog Day, apparently.

shimelle
ahhhhh! i haven't seen it, but alyson hannigan (willow) was just here signing videos
Season 3 First Half is now available as a box set. Heck, any excuse to get Buffy characters in the country is a good one.

Coffee, anyone?

and i saw her on the big breakfast and richard and judy.
Ah. You didn't catch her on MFI Friday. Why does that not surprise me. No-one watches MFI Friday any more. Host Cliff Evans turned up standing in for Ant & Dec on SM:TV last weekend, and got completely showed up by his absent colleagues.
Indeed, in the gap between my writing and posting this, MFI Friday has, indeed, bitten the axe. Cliff's show has been ditched after pulling in fewer viewers than 5 News.

three for today
jun 29

"Maniac 2000," Mark McCabe. Cranking the trusty wireless to RTE 2 on 612 AM is never easy. The signal is prone to fadeout, whooshing, and generally not working. But one track stands out through its sheer lunacy. This re-working of the theme to Spectrum classic game Manic Miner has become the seventh biggest seller of the past decade over the water. It's going to do the same here. When someone picks it up.

"I've Committed Murder," Macy Gray. Single three off the album is "You Should've Called Me", but the flip is a classy remake of the outstanding album track. It's not as instant as last UK single "Still", but neither was "I Try." July 17.

"Perfect World," Gretchen Peters. You want someone to blame / thank for the whole New Country phenomenon? Don't look at Tim, nor Faith, Leann, or even Garth. This is the lady responsible. Not so much for vocal talents, though she has plenty of those, but her songwriting. Mentioned in the same breath as Diane Warren as one of the outstanding lyricists of our time, Gretchen can also sing. This is the first track off her forthcoming second album. If it's anything like as good as the last one, it'll be classy. July 3.

All tracks listed above may or may not be available through Napster, Gnutella, or other file transfer protocol negotiators.