Weaver's News Spin
April 1998
A review of events and their interpretation.
Thursday, 30 April
The press hound Mary Bell, a woman who killed at the age of 11 over 35 years ago. Released in 1980, Bell has collaberated with a book on her life, and been paid 50,000 pounds for her time. Yet the press, who have paid witnesses and criminals themselves in the past, feel free to hound Bell out of her new identity, out of her new life somewhere on the South Coast, and into protective custody. Leopards, it appears, cannot change their spots; and offenders are not allowed to reform.
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Wednesday, 29 April
Political one-upmanship hits the web as both Toy Bair and William Hague answer questions from net-heads. Hague answers questions live and unmoderated on an AOHell forum, while Bair's spin-doctors ensured that questions were vetted by notoriously soft touch Sir David Frost in a web-cast interview. Surfers are advised not to be confused by a coincident web-cast of Koko, a monosyballic gorilla in San Diego. When asked about the future of trade unions within the Labour party, one of them made a sign for "balls". The gorilla went into a ten-minute spiel.
The Revenue Canada office in St John's is closed by protestors. The hundreds of objectors are complaining about the early closure of the TAGS programme, a scheme to assist those hurt financially by the collapse of fishing stocks in 1992. They aim to keep the office closed beyond the deadline tomorrow for filing income tax returns.
Arsenal take another giant step to the Premier League title, beating Derby 1-0. They now need just three points from their last three matches to regain the crown. In Division 1, Middlesborough go clear second after Wolves draw 1-1 at the Riverside.
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Tuesday, 28 April
This week's consumer safety scare is over the use of baby walkers. The devices, a metal frame on wheels that provide support for a fledgling walker, have come in for criticism on any number of potential problems. A leading paediatrician pointed out that these things just encourage sprogs to learn to walk before they're ready, and hence discourage proper learning. There's no good reason for these things to be on sale, and we think they should be banned.
The ongoing saga of Wimbledon FC takes its latest twist. Originally based in Wimbledon, the side have shared with Crystal Palace for the last five seasons while Merton borough council refuse planning permission for a new stadium. They've thought about moving to Dublin, but been blocked by footballing authorities there. Now they may merge with Division 3 Hull City, taking the latter side's name, but retaining their Premier League status. Next stop will probably be Milton Keynes, where there's a massive untapped market.
On the field, Nottingham Forest return to the Premier League following Sunderland's 2-0 defeat at Ipswich.
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Monday, 27 April
The United Nations renews sanctions against Iraq. It was a foregone conclusion after the sabre-rattling earlier this year from the US and UK. While the US conceded that Iraq had made progress in allowing inspectors access to the disputed sites, they say that the country still has room to go.
Manchester United keep up the pressure at the top of the Premier League, following their 3-0 win at Crystal Palace. The result relegates the South London club for the third time in the last six seasons.
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Sunday, 26 April
Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern says that Britain has no say over Ulster's future following the Good Friday agreement. Ahern made this claim to bolster support from wavering Republicans, worried about the Republic dropping its constitutional claim to Ulster. It won't exactly help sell the deal to Ulster's Unionists...
Home Secretary Jack Straw says young people's drug use has stabilised. His sources indicate that the level of consumption is no longer rising, and William Straw is paying the same amount into his bank account as last month.
David Coulthard wins an uneventful San Marino Grand Prix from Michael Schumaccer and Eddie Irvine. Defending champion Jacques Villeneuve comes 4th, with Jean Alesi picking up 5th. Finn Mika Hakkinnen still leads the drivers' championship, in spite of a lap 18 retirement.
Reading are relegated from Division 1 following their 1-0 defeat at Nottingham Forest. The result almost guarantees the Nottingham side a first-time return to top flight action. Leicester score twice in the first 100 seconds en route to a 4-0 victory at Derby.
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Saturday, 25 April
A normal day for Lib Dem leader Paddy Ashdown, as his audience walks out on him. Ashdown was addressing a group of constituents in Yeovil about the non-danger posed by a recently released paedophile. They accuse him of not listening and being pompous. Ashdown denies these charges, as he's always like that. He also points out that there are cases where police have lost track of such criminals following vigilante action, and they are far less likely to offend again if under police supervision.
Arsenal go Double Dutch, with Bergkamp and Overmars scoring in their 2-0 defeat of Barnsley, allowing the Gunners to go 4 points clear. Barnsley slip to second bottom, following Bolton's 3-1 win at Aston Villa. Chelsea move into third place, after beating Liverpool 4-1. Wolves take the lead three times, but still lose 4-3 to Stockport.
In Scotland, Celtic are held 0-0 by basement club Hibernians. Rangers end Hearts' title bid with a 3-0 win in Edinburgh, and close to within 1 point of Celtic. Elsewhere, Alloa are promoted to Division 2. In England, Southend and Carlisle are relegated to Division 3; they'll pass Macclesfield heading the other way. The league's newest club completed a full season unbeaten at home by beating their former ground-mates Chester 3-2.
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Friday, 24 April
Loyalist paramilitary organisations Ulster Defence Association and Ulster Freedom Fighters back the Good Friday peace deal. On their own, this doesn't count for much, but it does make those members of the Ulster Unionists who opposed the plan last weekend look further out of touch.
Russia steps back from the brink as the Duma backs Yeltsin's PM. Sergei Kiriyenko will now become the Prime Minister, following rejection in votes for the past two weeks. It shows the power that Yeltsin still holds over the parliament, in spite of his continuing ill health and battles with alcohol.
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Thursday, 23 April - St George's Day
James Earl Ray, the man convicted of the 1968 killing of American civil rights leader Martin Luther King, dies in prison of cancer. Although convicted of the killing, Ray continued to protest his innocence of the charge, and there have been recent moves to re-open the files.
Belgian Marc Dutroux briefly escapes from custody. Dutroux, charged with four murders, six killings and involvement in a paedophile ring, lept free while appearing in court, but was recaptured within four hours. The Belgian Justice and Interior ministers resigned immediately after his recapture. In the UK, this would be cause for nothing more than an interview in which Jeremy Paxman asks the same question 15 times.
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Wednesday, 22 April
The Douneray plant in Scotland will reprocess nuclear waste from Georgia. Foreign secretary Robin Crook said that the material was not dangerous, but was explosive. Opposition lead on Britain being used as the world's nuclear dustbin and acting in a secretive, underhand manner. The proponents of the deal said that it enhanced world peace, showed Britain's capabilities at the cutting edge of science, and meant that the former Soviet republic owed the UK big time.
100,000 World Cup tickets went on sale through a special hotline in France. The scheme, the least the organisers could get away with to avoid the wrath of the Eurocrats, was described as a con trick by Graham Watson, a Liberal MEP. The French CFO and FIFA have knowingly broken the law by rigging the market, and have pretended to right the wrong by setting up a confidence-trick of a hotline.
On the pitch, the USA defeat fellow World Cup contenders Austria 3-0. England scrape a 3-0 victory over Portugal, Scotland draw 0-0 with Finland and the Republic of Ireland lose 2-0 to Argentina.
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Tuesday, 21 April
The government's beef on the bone ban is thrown out in Selkirk. A zealous health and safety official prosecuted a hotelier for flagrantly breaching the ban last December. But Sherrif James Patterson said that the regulations were seriously flawed. The government will waste more taxpayer's money in fighting this sense, as there's more danger in passive smoking at the restaurant than eating the meat.
And now there are government guidelines on homework. The rules, set out by education secretary David Flunkett, suggest 20 minutes a night for four year olds, rising to two hours for 18 year olds. Teachers say that this is common practice anyway, and next thing they know the government will be issuing guidelines that all teachers should have no dress sense and wear leather patches on the elbows of brown courderoy jackets.
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Monday, 20 April
The Chief Constable of Grampian refuses to resign in spite of calls from the Secretary of State that he should pack his bags and go. Ian Oliver's force has been accused of neglect following the murder of a child. As Oliver will be leaving the force in five weeks anyway, there appears no reason to go today.
Prospects for economic union with NAFTA suddenly rise to the top of the agenda. Newt Gingrich said yesterday that it's totally practical for the UK to establish close trading links with the North American Free Trade Association; Canada, Mexico and the USA. This visionary step has been applauded by Euro-realists including Michael Hewerd and John Redwood. It's a move that also has the support of some non-Vulcan pibble.
The attourney-general of Noo Yawk launches an investigation into Spice Girls tickets. Dennis Vacco is quoted as being appalled that 13,000 tickets for their concert in the Big Bagel were sold within 12 minutes, and suspects that touts may have made bulk purchases. Hey, just coz you didn't get any tickets doesn't mean that you should take it out on the fans that did..... |
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The death of Archbishop Trevor "Yippee!!" Huddleston, 84. The former Bishop of Stepney and Archbishop of York was a founder of the anti-apartheid movement, and its president between 1981 and dissolution in 1994. He was knighted in the last Honours list for this work. A flamboyant preacher, the Archbishop will remain in the public memory as the chap who proclaimed himself over the moon, happy as a kite, yippee!! on the day of democratic elections in South Africa almost four years ago.
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Sunday, 19 April
The death of Lady Linda McCartney, 56. The wife of Sir Paul McCartney passed away Friday at her family's home in Santa Barbara, California. The McCartneys met when Linda Eastman, the heir to the Kodak empire, was photographing the Beatles in the late 1960s. As well as her work with her husband's post-Beatle group Wings, her greatest claim to fame was as the founder of a range of meat-free dishes and prime advocate for the avoidance of dead animals in the diet.
The death of Lord (Dennis) Howell of Small Heath, 74. The MP for the district of Birmingham first entered the House in 1945. He was appointed Minister for Drought in 1976, but the return of rain caused the job to change to Minister for Floods within ten days. He was a tireless campaigner on sporting issues, chairing a two-year inquiry in the early 1980s, and was involved in two bids to bring the Olympic Games to England's second city.
Results of the film BAFTA awards; The Full Monty 4, Romeo + Juliet 4. Shoot-out in the Best Actress category won by Dane Judi Dench. LA Confidential 2, Nil By Mouth 2. Kim Basinger 1, Titanic 0.
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Saturday, 18 April
7000 children reply to a call on Blue Peter for items to be buried under Meddlesome's Folly. Leading the list of contemporary trash is pictures of the Spice Girls, and memorabilia to do with the movie Titanic. Some of the two thousand nominated items will be exhibited in the dome prior to burial
Gerald Kaufman adds his voice to those pointing out that the continued obsession with Spencer Windsor is excessive. Reaction had been an extraordinary wave of self-indulgent mush, distasteful and totally over the top. Kaufman's comments come after a new book makes the logical conclusion that Dead was utterly self-obsessed.
Arsenal return to the top of the English soccer tables, after thrashing their bogey team Wimbledon 5-0. That result, coupled with Manchester United's 1-1 draw with troubled Newcastle, puts the Gunners firmly on course for the Double. Elsewhere, Barnsley and Spurs tied 1-1, a result that looks set to doom the Tykes. Crystal Palace reprieved themselves for a week by beating Derby 3-1 in their first home win of the season. West Ham beat Blackburn 2-1 in the battle of European contenders.
Sunderland better Crewe 2-1 to take 2nd place in Division One, but Notts Forest look uncatchable at the top. Wolves beat Reading 3-1 to keep their faint play-off hopes alive.
Halifax will return to the football league next season, five years after being dumped out. The Shaymen clinched promotion from the Conference with a 2-0 win at Kidderminster. They'll replace Doncaster Rovers.
Celtic return to the top in Scotland, after beating Motherwell 4-1. Rangers don't play till tomorrow, and Hearts removed themselves from the title race following their 1-1 tie with St Johnstone.
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Friday, 17 April
The second attempt to appoint Sergei Kiryenko as Russian Prime Minister has failed, a week after his last refusal. He promised a new deal between Government and Parliament. If he's rejected again, President Yeltsin will dissolve Parliament.
Further tornadoes hit Nashville and other parts of the South Eastern USA. 102 have died in the worst tornado season in fifteen years.
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Thursday, 16 April
Khymer Rouge forces report the death of Saloth Sar, more infamous as Cambodian dictator Pol Pot. Sar, believed to be aged 73, died of a heart attack while under house arrest near the Thai border. He was the leader of a genocidal Communist regime responsible for more than a million deaths between 1975 and 1979.
The Spice Girls will take high tea with Chuck and Harold Windsor at Highgrove. The most popular stars in Britain will swap their best crumpet recipies and sloo up a milky drink with their pinkies extended, in the company of a couple of past-it has-beens. This is clearly nothing more than an extension of the ongoing campaign to make the royals popular, as if real popularity could be absorbed by osmosis.
Semi-finals of the Cup Winners' Cup. Stuttgart win 1-0 at Lokomotiv Moscow, 3-1 on aggregate. They'll face Chelsea, who came from behind to beat Vincenza 3-1 on the night, 3-2 on aggregate. It's the fourth time an English club has made a Cup Winners' Cup final in the past eight seasons, with both Manchester United and Arsenal lifting the trophy.
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This page updated Apr 30, 1998