Three pregnant ladies, a redhead, a brunette and a blonde were all setting in the doctor's office one day. "I'm glad this one will be a boy." announced the redhead. "But, "inquired the blonde, "how can you know?" "Well," explained the redhead, I conceived during the male dominant position." "yes," agreed the brunette, "and my baby will be a girl because I conceived during the female dominant position." With that the blond burst into tears. "What's wrong?" asked the other two ladies. To which the blonde wailed, "I'm gonna have puppies!"
What do you call a blonde with a high I.Q.?
A golden retriever.
Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
Her blinker was on.
What do you call a bunch of blondes in a Volkswagen?
Farfromthinkin.
Why don't blondes make ice cubes?
They keep forgetting the recipe.
Why do blondes work seven days a week?
So you don't have to retrain them on Mondays.
Why couldn't the blonde make Kool-aid ?
She couldn't fit two quarts of water into the little packet.
How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. She holds the bulb in place and waits for the world
to revolve around her.
How do blonde brain cells die?
Alone.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
Is it mine?
How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Did you hear about the 2 Blondes who were found frozen to
death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the
typewriters.
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of
Cheerios?
"Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for 4 hours they finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" so they turned around and went home.
Why did the Blonde stare at a can of frozen orange juice? Because it said concentrate.
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.
Why can't Blondes dial 911? They can't find the eleven on the phone!
What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she's got a grenade in her mouth!
How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer? There is whiteout all over the monitor.
How do you get a Blonde on the roof? Tell her the drinks are on the house.
Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them.
A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!" The doctor asks, "Were you ever a Blonde?" "Yes, I was." she replies. "Why do you ask?" The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!"
A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette said "Oh, look at the dead bird." The Blonde looked skyward and said "Where, where?"
Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? You have to hollow out the head.
© 1997 granny@hockinghills.net
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