Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right,
but he hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over
by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
everything up, but, he "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand
them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go
with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting
to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend 1/2 an hour writing,
then forget to take to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you
will never be able to duplicate again.
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n Similar to a black hole in space -- if he
goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions;
he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breathe...push..."
Lipstick (lip*stik) n On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of
your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and
neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage
and children.
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry,
shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n A day when you have dreams of a
candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to
get a card.