Driving Instructions


The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the Maine Department of Transportation's driving school

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QUESTION: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
ANSWER: What for? He can't see my license plate.

QUESTION: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
ANSWER: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

QUESTION: When driving through fog, what should you use?
ANSWER: Your car.

QUESTION: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
ANSWER: Be too drunk to find your keys.

QUESTION: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
ANSWER: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

QUESTION: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
ANSWER: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

QUESTION: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed.
ANSWER: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

QUESTION: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
ANSWER: The color.

QUESTION: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
ANSWER: Heavy psychedelics.

QUESTION: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
ANSWER: Carry loaded weapons.


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