You should now see the background slowly changing. Embarissing Moments

Embarissing Moments


Curl Up and Die

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"

Pad, please!

An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage
insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I
wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run
and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front
of our guest.

Ho, Ho, Ho

I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom.
And wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he
looked so adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They
came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of
our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing
hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the
photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had
captured my reflection in the mirror -wearing nothing but a camera!

Lady Golfer

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with
men's balls."

Nuts about You

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if, we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.

Na-na na-na na-nah!

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
hold of her. After receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right
now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye
and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go
right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee
last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening
exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered
up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter
in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were
screams of laughter.

Surprise!

It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home,
but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my
girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after
making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to
my girlfriend that I give her a nude piggyback ride to the phone.
Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get
dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly
came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!" My entire
family: aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all my friends were
standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock
and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no
one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

Priceless

One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon
in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a
discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned
that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment
when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store
to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently
misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like
tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND
YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A
HAMMER?"

Mom's Advice

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She
went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and
whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite
itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He
was to phone his mother ask her what he should do about it. He did it
and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the
back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him
sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told
you to call your mom." she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told
me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up
from school."

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