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After you've asked all the questions you can think of and more. Ask if you can bring your child/children to the daycare a couple of times, for a few hours each time to orientate him/her to the place. Remain with the child.
When you have made your decision and have enrolled your child in a daycare
Make unannounced visits at nap time (approx. half way through the time allotted for nap time), meal time, craft time and plan to stay awhile to observe the procedures that are followed. If you feel that your child will react to you leaving again, then be prepared to stay with him/her at the daycare for a while then take him or her home with you on these special visit days. When the child gets older he/she will be able to understand that you will have to go back to work after a visit. If not then make these days your special days and plan to stay for awhile and then take him/her home early. Your child may react to your presence at the daycare by clinging to you at first. Soon he will become comfortable with you there and will want to show off his world to you and visa versa.
Volunteer as an assistant supervisor at the daycare. Be observant and trust your instincts it's amazing how much you will see while being there for the day. If your work place will not allow you the time off to pay unannounced visits or to volunteer, then ask the child's aunt, grandmother, close friend who is the observant type and someone whose opinion you respect to do it for you.
I can't emphasis enough how very important it is to do both of these.
Don't take "no" for an answer.
If the daycare is a progressive one they will welcome your presence and your interest. They will not resent your attention and will offer suggestions on how to help your child adjust to your presence and your departure if you can't take the child with you when you go.
Listen to your child. If he tells you that the teacher sits on one of his friends to make him go to sleep Investigate. Often times a young child misunderstands a situation but there is usually a grain of truth in what he sees. Even if it is simply a case of your child misunderstanding something, it is the truth to him/her until the matter is explained and put straight in his/her mind.
How to Check for a Child Oriented Daycare:
There'll be a variety of different toys accessible to the children in each room and will be maintained by the children. Consequently the room will have an untidy, look about it at all times during the day.
Notice the arts and crafts that are displayed on the walls and that your child brings home. If you receive a mother's day gift that is perfect in every way and in the proper perspective and he/she's only three, you can bet that the child played very little part in the creation of that gift.
Ask if they offer a policy of having special visitors visit the daycare (e.g., fireman, policeman, clown, puppeteer, musician etc.)
Ask if they offer Special Days at the daycare, for example - red day, carnival day, safety week, and so on.
Find out if they offer field trips to the children. If so what ratio do they follow on these occasions and what kind of transportation do they use. Field trips are a separate issue from having special days and special visitors come to the daycare. Field trips expand your child's world in a proactive way.
Check whether there is a wake up room available to all ages if they awaken during nap time and cannot get back to sleep.
If there is not a wake-up room available during nap time, ask about the nap policy of each room is and what quiet time activities are offered. Ask for a quiet-time schedule, and check for a variety of activities, and when the activities begin. (If the nap time is 120 minutes long and the wake-up activities don't start until 90 minutes into the period then you can bet that the child is expected to lay on his/her mat for 90 minutes asleep or not.)
Check the staffing at nap time. If the ratio of children to caregivers is higher at nap time so as to work in lunch breaks, then there won't be a wake-up strategy possible because there won't be enough staff on to facilitate any activities (unless of course they bring in extra staff in each room at this time. The ratio can only go up when the children are asleep. As soon as one child is awake (not up), the ratio must return to normal.)
Also ask what the caregivers duties are when the children are asleep. (Make sure that they aren't laden down with many housekeeping duties that take them away from the room, or occupies her time so that she can't deal with an awake child.)
Ask for a written report on your child's day if his/her caregiver is off when you pick the child up especially when the child is under three years old and cannot tell you about his/her day.
When you have a concern, approach the director and your child's caregiver with authority. Forget the old, "back in school, fear of authority" or "I don't want to rock the boat" apologetic syndrome that I have seen many parents have. Remember, you are the child's parent and you are the one paying many bucks to house your child in that daycare. The daycare works for you. I'm not suggesting that you be snotty, but, don't allow your concerns to be put off or pooh-poohed. Don't be afraid to be corrected, be happy you were wrong and there is no real problem. Be gracious and thankful, but don't be apologetic. (If the daycare is a professional one, it will not question, or deny, your concerns and requests nor will they judge you and become defensive. If they do, take your child home and start looking for another place.)
A child oriented daycare will never ever respond to one of your concerns with the statement, "Well, he/she never does that here, so..." That's just plain rude. Don't feel inept when you hear this. There are just as many things that your child never does at home and does at daycare. They're two different worlds and thus elicits different behavior from your child.
It is healthy for your child to develop a special bond with his/her caregiver. It will be difficult to take but is very necessary and healthy for your child. Swallow your pride and encourage it. However, beware of the caregiver who takes too much pride in the fact that your child is attached to her and rubs it in to you every chance she gets. Sure, your child loves his caregiver but never as a replacement for you. She should be encouraging the child to be proud of his family and to accept his life. Your child's caregiver should be encouraging your child to be independent and self reliant not to be reliant on her.
Listen to your child's caregiver and try not to become defensive when she suggests that your child is exhibiting problem behavior or learning disabilities in the daycare. She is not being vindictive or judgmental as much as she is trying to help you and your child address any problem your child may have before he is in the school system and has every move he makes rated on a scale of 1 to l00!
You may well ask why you should do all this? Social Services inspects all licensed daycares, shouldn't that be sufficient?
They do not have the vested interest in the place like you do. They have to inspect the entire daycare not just one room. They also have many daycares to inspect and are spread pretty thin due to government cut backs. Besides, no one's perfect, even the government can use the parents to help make back up checks.
It is really up to each individual parent to ensure that all is well with their child's world. Trust your own instincts. If you don't like something you see, then it is unsuitable for your child and should stop.
If not, look for another place, NOW.
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