THESE ARE JUST A FEW OBSERVATIONS I HAVE THEY DON'T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING JUST THINGS I'VE WONDERED ABOUT THROUGH THE YEARS I'VE BEEN ON THE PLANET



THE FORMER PRESIDENT


AWW,WHO GIVES A SHIT?



MY WIFE


#1 WHY DOESN'T SHE UNDERSTAND THAT THE REMOTE CONTROLS ARE MINE?

#2 WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY TURN TO TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE?

#3 WHY CAN'T FEMININE HYGENE PRODUCTS BE ANYWHERE THAT I CAN'T SEE THEM?

#4 WHY CAN'T SHE SEE WHEN I'M DRIVING, THE STEREO IS UNDER MY CONTROL!

#5 WHY DOES "IT" ALWAYS HAVE TO BE MY FAULT?

#6 WHY IS HER BUTT SO DAMN COLD IN BED?

#7 HOW COME 40 PAIRS OF SHOES 35 OF WHICH HAVE NEVER BEEN WORN AFTER THE DAY SHE BOUGHT THEM?

#8 THEY SAY IN ANY RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE TO HAVE CHANGE. SO WHY IS IT THAT I AM ALWAYS THE ONE EXPECTED TO CHANGE?



TITANIC


WE RECENTLY RENTED TITANIC, A GOOD MOVIE BY ALL MEANS,BUT WHEN DISCUSSING THE MOVIE WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY, ALL I EVER HEAR IS "OH I CRIED", "OH IT GAVE ME CHILLS". WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT ME, I GOT CHILLS WHEN MARK MCGWIRE HIT 62. I GET CHILLS WATCHING CERTAIN EPISODES OF UNSOLVED MYSTERIES. BUT, I DIDN'T CRY OR GET CHILLS WHEN I SAW TITANIC.