May 5. Today was almost a full day of confusion. Mother called a number of times, "Mother!" and also, "Father!" When I explained that her mother and father were dead, she said, "Yes, I must realize that." She also, called "Joanna!" Much of the day she didn't know me. When Dave stopped in in the evening, she asked me who he was. This upset condition made getting ready for bed difficult. I asked if she wanted to take off her wrist watch and she moved things around on the vanity looking for her watch. I told her it was on her wrist, she still couldn't find it. What to do???? Hope it's better tomorrow--almost her 82nd birthday.
May 8. Yesterday was a great day--the best day mother has had for a long time. Today was a day of much sleeping and considerable unsteadiness. She needed to be held, almost pushed, in order to walk. At bed time she couldn't understand what she was to do when asked to swallow an aspirin. I finally had her take it out of her mouth. Her talk was totally meaningless. She received many birthday cards and when I asked why she got so many, she said, "Because I'm going to die." She was deeply moved by a card that contained a picture of Joanna and Robbie, she cried and hugged the card.
May 11. Dave and Diane and her two girls, Brett and Lacey, had a birthday party for Joan. Laura and her two boys were there, too. Mother enjoys people. Today when I picked her up at the respite center she again wanted to talk to everyone on the way out--especially some of the others who have Alzheimer's. Tonight she fell off the toilet into the glass shower door. Maybe I should fashion a guard rail to avoid possible serious injury.
May 15. Much confusion and incoherence. Joan would talk endlessly without making sense. She fell twice and tried valiantly to get up without success. Yesterday we saw Dr. Kjobech. He said he wished there was medicine to prescribe but there is none. Results of blood tests will be known in a week. It was a trying day for both of us.
May 21. Another year older--wish it weren't so, for then I would be more capable of taking care of Joan. It is getting harder. Increasingly she needs to be pushed or pulled to do something--like getting into the car, going to the toilet, (so she wets more), getting washed, etc. I can't leave her at home so it is necessary for her to come along for shopping it takes a lot of pushing and pulling to get her to go. That is most tiring for an 82 year old. It isn't the work its the pushing and pulling that continues to get worse.
May 27. Much of the same; incoherent speaking and unsteadiness. In addition mother is having increasing difficulty in eating. That is in getting the food into her mouth without spilling. Her usual good nature continues. If she is uncooperative, stubborn, it's only for a short time and then her lovable nature comes through.
June 11. We had a few bad days; I had a touch of the flu and a return of vertigo. Just my luck; Dave's on vacation. We managed because Joan slept a lot and neither the vertigo nor the flu lasted but a few days. Mother didn't catch the flu. Today she went to the dentist, Dr. Shurtz. She will have a crown on one tooth and two fillings. She got along famously with Dr Shurtz and his bevy of technicians. Friday we will go to the clinic for physical therapy; it's Dave's idea, he thinks her leg muscles can be strengthened and that would prevent some of the falling.
June 25. The physical therapy is best described in Joan's words, "You meant well." It is very difficult to get her to do the exercises at home. It is also difficult for her to understand the directions for the various exercises. For example, "lift up your leg", needs much prompting. That becomes a chore for her. Otherwise there are good times and not so good; mostly good because of Joan's patience and good humor.
July 1. More and more Joan has difficulty in moving her legs. Sometimes when getting out of bed her legs get crossed and if she tries to walk she falls; it is difficult for her to straighten them out. Same when trying to get out of a car its difficult to contol her legs. The exercises have stopped; it is very difficult to sell her on the idea, and I'm sure the problem is not the muscle but the message to the muscle. The same for urinating; the message doesn't get through. It's been a few weeks since she got to the bathroom in time. Yesterday she wet right after our nap and after I had asked her to go to the bathroom. It required a complete change of clothes. An hour and a half later, while I was in the midst of preparing supper I saw she was uncomfortable; another accident and another change. I wasn't too happy. While finishing supper Joan came to me crying and said, "You won't put me out, will you?" Just too sad.
August 16. More than a month since last entry. Much has happened but nothing has changed. Joan's confusion grows. Jerry and Sherry and Jenifer were here for the past three weeks. They tried to be of help, and that is appreciated but it is difficult for young people to understand that octogenarians, especially sick ones, want especially peace and quiet. Joan enjoyed the times they took her for walks; mall, Ohme Gardens and shopping. On August 9th Joan had a stroke; transient ischemic attack, Dave called it. She was unable to talk or walk. Kay was here at the time and Dave came in a few minutes. With the help of Jerry, Sherry and Kay we got her to the emergency room and Dave arranged for a brain CAT scan. She had fallen the day before and the bruise on the side of her head indicated the possibility of internal brain damage. None was found and in a few hours Joan came around; never remembered being in the hospital. Since then she has been more confused. Dan, Sarah, Joanna and Robbie are here for a few days. There is a real feeling between Joan and Joanna.
September 1. Confusion and speech continue to worsen and her eating has diminished. Today she ate almost no breakfast and about half of her TV dinner. It is getting increasingly difficult to dress and wash her. She especially resists having her face washed; it is easier to give her a bath. Today was one of the few times she got very angry at me; I wanted her to go to the toilet before she sat down for dinner. At the table she smacked her hand in her dinner and hit me with her fork and said she hated me. Half an hour later she said, "I hope you will accept my apology." That was the most coherent sentence she has used in a long time. Also, it was strange that she remembered doing something that wasn't quite right; it must have bothered her deeply. I assured her she never did anything that required an apology. It is getting more difficult for me to properly take care of her and I find myself more frequently losing patience and getting angry. She refused to go to the toilet last night at bedtime. It did no good to explain why she should go; in the morning she was very wet and everything needed changing and laundering. The glass shower doors are off and a removable pole is placed to give support in getting on or off the toilet. It is a big help.
September 15. Joan's balance and walking continue to worsen. Tonight I had to give her strong support to get her walking. We were at Denny's for supper and she had great difficulty in getting out of the booth. Dave has found a lady, highly recommended, who might be able to be with mother for four hours twice a week. It is doubtful if mother will accept that. I hope so, as I am more frequently losing my temper when mother firmly refuses to get washed, dressed, or into her pajamas. She is so sweet and pleasant most of the time I should completely overlook the few times when she refuses to cooperate; nothing is important enough to upset her. I'll try to remember.
October 12. I decided to employ a lady through the Independent Home Care Agency (a service of Central Washington Hospital). Our Home Care Insurance will pay $50 per day for help, if it comes through a recognized agency. The first 7 days are deductible. The lady assigned to help us is Evelyn Flowers, LPN, from 10 A.M. to 2 P.M. Tomorrow is her 7th day and maybe her last. She provides the least possible help. One day she never got mother out of bed. She has her looking as if she's in an institution; hair badly combed, no jewelry, indifferently dressed. I may try some other person even if the insurance company won't pay. Mother's speech and walking continue to worsen. Last Saturday we both had a great day. Dave treated me to a Husky vs California football game. It was a good game, beautiful day and a chance to visit with Eric. Finished with a fine dinner. It was the first time in three years I had a free day. Diane took care of mother, and mother enjoyed it. Diane gave her a bath, took her for two walks, and saw that she had a nap. When she left mother said, "That's a good girl." Sure is. In addition to taking care of mother Diane made our bed (Evelyn does some of the time) and did some laundry. It was the first time in three years I saw folded towels and underwear and matched socks all neatly stacked. That was a wonderful sight.
November 8. The Home Care Agency has sent another aide, Cindy. She's young, lively, patient and understanding. When she bathes and dresses mother she puts on her jewelry; looks great. Mother likes her. Tonight it was almost impossible for mother to walk; I had to almost carry her to bed. After an hour nap she was much better. Eating has become more difficult for her; it is sometimes necessary to help with her eating. Dave and Diane had mother out to Sirraco's for lunch yesterday; she always enjoys being with them. We've been in Wenatchee three years; doesn't seem possible. Also, doesn't seem possible there can be another three years in the future. We stopped going to the respite center; I think it has become difficult for them to handle mother,although they say otherwise.
November 20. Last Friday we passed another milestone; the beautician Joan has gone to for three years will no longer take her. It bothered me a bit but it is understandable; as Pam explained, it was very difficult to get mother to move from the dryer to the other chair. I was worried for sometime that mother might fall in the shop, and I asked if it was becoming too much of a probllem; it was. I called the local beauty college and inquired about beauticians that would make house calls. I've lined up two for the next two weeks. Hope one of them works out. I will feel better with mother at home, but it was good for her to get out. Her right foot frequently turns inward about 90 degrees and it must be straightened by hand before she can walk. Her courage and joyful nature are unbelievable.
November 28. Home Care Agency wants to assign Cindy to Chelan; worse luck. It's understandable because Cindy comes from Winthrop, 60 miles north of Chelan, so if she works there she saves the 30 mile trip to Wenatchee. They want us to try LaDonna. I agreed to a one day trial. The Agency is trying to satisfy us. Tuesday LaDonna arrived 30 minutes late, drinking a cup of coffee. She explained she needs a caffeine fix. She seemed most casual, indifferent in her attitude. I almost sent her back but I had some errands lined up, so decided to keep her. When she saw mother there seemed to be a transformation, she was very concerned, jolly and helpful. Within five minutes she had mother under the shower. I left when I came back she had mother sitting in an easy chair with her leg propped up on a hassock and she was massaging her leg and foot. A glass of water was on the table next to her. I discovered LaDonna had bathed mother, made the beds, had breakfast with her, washed and dried all the dirty laundry, dusted in all the rooms except my study, and sang Christmas songs with her; and they were watching comics on TV. WHAT A GEM. She likes mother and mother likes her. I called the Agency and they will schedule Ladonna for twice a week. If she continues even half as good it will be wonderful. She's also attractive. A hairdresser came today, did an acceptable job. Today Kay took mother shopping and to lunch. Mother surely enjoyed that and I took advantage of the free time and had lunch with nine men who have wives with Alzheimers. A fine group of men.
December 22, 1992. Sad news on Saturday, Dec. 19th; Dick called and said Eleanore died. While preparing supper she had a stroke and fell. The paramedics came and rushed her to the Eagle Rivcr Hospital but there was never any sign of life. Today she will be buried in Wisconsin Memorial, Capitol Drive. How sudden. When Dick called he was very upset, even said he looked for his pistol. Eleanore was most faithful in her concern and communication with Joan. We will miss her; she was more than a member of the family, she was a faithful friend. I haven't told mother, and will when she asks for Eleanore. I had another attack of vertigo; lasted about 10 days. Quite severe at times. What bothers me most is I seem to get a numbness or tingling in my legs that persists. Geriatrics!
December 27. More sad news. Paul Keipper died on the 23rd.
Paul & Gert were visiting Janice and family in Albuquerque. Paul
seemed to be in good health, awoke at 3:15 A.M. and said he felt as if
he was going to die. He was rushed to the hospital and died three
hours later. He, like Eleanore, was more than just a member of the
family, he was a good friend. I deeply appreciated his work in setting
up the books for the transfer of Medicine Lake Lodge Resort to Medicine
Lake Lodge Condominiums. Also, our neighbor, Adam Warnette, died
of an aneurysm. He was the only friend I've made since we came to
Wenatchee. A fine man always wanting to help. Age 74.
The erosion of our peers continues. And mother's speech, walking,
and eating continue their slow but relentess deterioration.