January 2, 1995.  A new year.  The last one went too fast.  One would really have cause for concern if time did not pass rapidly.  We had a pleasant Christmas Day: tree, lights, presents and dinner.  The latter was organized by Laura.  Dave, Diane, Eric, Ivy, Sam & Grant were here and each contributed to a hearty meal and an enjoyable time.  Sam and Grant are maturing into fine, intelligent young boys.  Laura is a great mother and Dave is constantly leading them into new experiences and teaching them how to cope.  No significant change in mother.  Perhaps a bit more silent together with more sleep.  She continues to eat well.  Another aide problem has arisen.  Lisa's class schedule for the next session has changed, she won't be available.  In her place I was able to get a lady from Cashmere, Nelva Williams.  Nelva is a trained and experienced aide, she is capable, willing and relates well with mother.  She is also more mature, I feel she will work out very well.

February 1, 1995.  The first month of 1995 has passed and not much has happened or changed.  Nelva has proved to be a fine aide in all respects.  And Wanda continues to be a pleasant and caring person;  and her cooking is improving.  We miss Dave, he went to Ecuador as a member of an elite rafting crew.  The newspapers are reporting war has broken out between Ecuador and Peru;  I hope he is safe.  We had a brief but pleasant visit from Janie (Strutz).  She had come to Moses Lake to celebrate Larry's 50th birthday.  We added a bit to the celebration;  Laura and her two boys came as did Kay with a gift and card for Larry.  I baked a chocolate cream cheese cake;  it was OK.  It was good to visit with someone from Lannon.  Laura and her friend Bob had been here the day before to join in celebrating SUPER BOWL XXIX.  Guess Laura didn't want me to be alone on SUPER BOWL DAY;  she's sure a sweetheart.

March 10, 1995.  More than a month since the last entry. A few changes. I got a lift chair for Joan.  That makes it easier on both the lifter and the liftee.  Dave got back from Ecuador;  his plans in Ecuador were revised because of the war with Peru.  But he did get in some enjoyable and challenging rafting and mountain climbing.  As a result of Dave's prodding I'm off to Colorado Springs on the 16th.  It will be great seeing Dan and family in their new home.  As a bonus they invited Jerry to join in.  Should be 4 wonderful days;  I'm looking forward to it.  One cloud;  Nelva, a wonderful person and excellent aide, has to quit.  Her 84 year old parents, who live with her, are both ill.  The father with Alzheimer's and mother with congestive heart failure.  Clearly she's needed at home but she insists on staying here until I get back.  She knows I wouldn't leave mother with a new aide.  I have hired a new aide, Darlene Cappa.  She will start after I come back from C. S.  For some reason I feel uncomfortable about her and wish I hadn't hired her.  I will watch her closely for a few days.  She says she came from Wisconsin, Eau Claire area, but she never heard of Rhinelander.  Has been a caregiver for 15 years but has no references?  We'll see;  she may turn out to be a winner.

April 24, 1995.  When I got back from the great visit with Dan and family I got a call from Sandy Limbeck, social worker for COPES, she wanted to know how I felt about Darlene Cappa.  I told her I felt uneasy about hiring her and asked what she thought of her.  She said COPES does not evaluate providers but would say my gut reaction;  remarkable.  I have a feeling Darlene has emotional or mental problems;  perhaps institutionalized?  In her place we hired Tina Brown.  She was the last one to respond to our ad.  Tina is 22 ? married, husband out of work, and two children.  After hearing for 2 weeks about the threat of eviction, cutting off of the telephone and no food I finally convinced Tina to apply for welfare.  She did. And the next day she quit! Then a new aide, Sandra Rock.  She came with a sheaf of high recommendations but she couldn't lift mother and about once an hour she had to go out to the patio for a cigarette.  Three days was the limit.  Tomorrow another new aide, Brenda Alexander.  She visited last night and has had a great deal of hands-on experience.  Handling mother, she says will be no problem.  She is obviously an intelligent and positive person.  We'll hold our thumbs.  Tonight mother talked with Dave and listened and responded to Jerry on the phone.  The most alert she has been for many months.  It's a real boost to see her so alert;  hope it keeps up.

May 27, 1995.  Mother much the same;  sometimes alert and aware, and other times is in her own world.  Brenda has been here a month and is excellent;  the best.  Unfortunately Wanda will leave at the end of this month. Her son took off for Oregon and left his two tots 3 & 4 behind.  Wanda and her husband will raise the children; so her days as an aide are over.  And she was very good.  Will see if another aide is available;  they are scarce.  If not, I can handle the afternoon shift including supper.  We'll see.............?

June 3, 1995.  This is getting to be a log on Aides.  I ran an ad and had about 10 responses.  Half are eliminated because they can't lift.  Another group is eliminated because they fail to appear for an interview.  That leaves about 2.  One of the two, with considerable experience in care giving, came for her first stint yesterday.  She, Rose (my mother's name), said in the interview she didn't need the job but wanted something to do as her husband was away a great deal.  She was an Indian, Tlingit tribe off the coast of Alaska. Mother has always felt deeply about Indians, perhaps a product of her teaching in an Indian government school.  Rose said she went to a mission school. Her father's name was Archie!  And, she would work weekends.  She seemed sincere.  She arrived about 20" late for work.  I started the supper, put the casserole in the oven and sat down to read the paper.  Rose arrived dressed in shorts.  She lifted up the upper part and said something I didn't understand.  Anyhow when the casserole was finished I dished out mother's share and asked Rose (Rose Allen) to feed mother.  I went in the kitchen to get my dish.  Rose followed and said she would fix me a real dish.  With that she put my dish down and grabbed me around the neck kissed me and opened her blouse so her breasts were exposed and rubbed them against me.  She even got her hand inside my shorts and kept urging me to go to bed with her.  I told her in my 61 years with Joan she was the only one I ever went to bed with and at age 85 I wasn't about to change.  I went to my study and Rose finished feeding mother and getting her ready for bed.  Every once in a while she would pop into the study, one time to ask me to get fresh milk;  that the milk in the fridge had worms in it.  She looked wild and upset.  I went for milk although I knew the milk we had was fresh;  only two days old.  Once out of the house I thought it was a mistake to leave mother alone with Rose.  I hurried back and everything seemed OK.  Rose told me she had to eat or she felt pressured in taking care of me. I stayed in my room and when she left she said tomorrow she would come with a party dress.  I knew there would be no repeat and planned to call her in a half hour to tell her not to come. I discovered the phone number she gave me was disconnected. Also found out that the address she gave was also phony.  The next morning I waited for her and gave her her pay for 2 1/2 hours, $20, and told her her game was over.  Somewhere in the alley (she came in the back way) there was a man waiting for her.  I didn't see him but I heard her talking to him.  I think their plan was to catch me in bed with her!  Several times she asked about my years as a doctor.  She didn't seem to believe I was just a poor, retired school teacher.  A mighty upsetting and scary experience for an 85 year old great grandfather.  I've had a revolver for about 25 years;  tonight for the first time I will load it and take it to bed.

June 4, 1995.  Laura and her friend Bob came over to see how I was surviving the attempted scam by Rose and her ally.  I told them another CNA was over to apply for the job and in the course of the interview I told her (Carol Willis) about my experience with Rose.  It turned out Carol had a patient who had been ripped of by Rose;  both theft of valuables and forgery of checks.  Another CNA, Kay Neal, told me Rose's rip-offs of patients are well known.  When I mentioned this to Laura and Bob they asked if I was missing anything.  I said no.  After they left I checked my dresser for a dinner ring mother had received from Marian Koehler.  In 1983 I had it appraised by Lehner of Eagle River for $750.  It was gone.  By coming into my study a few times Rose cased it and when she got me to go for milk she found the ring;  top drawer, right hand corner.  If Laura and Bob hadn't mentioned Rose's pattern of stealing, it might have been some time before the theft would have been discovered.  Mighty upsetting!

July 16, 1995.  The aides saga continues.  Brenda's husband wants her to quit and be at home with their children.  Understandable.  Unfortunately she was by far the best aide we ever had.  Dave inserted an ad;  he and Diane will screen the applicants- what a relief.  Unfortunately not many applicants.  We hired one;  Ann Canfield.  She has been here 4 weeks and is incredibly good, even better than Brenda.  She is here 4 days a week and we have tried several others to fill in the other 3 days.  No luck;  the one still working is OK and is getting better.  The coming and going of aides is stressful but when I see the tender, competent care she gets from Ann and the warmth of her reaction to me I know it is well worth the stress.  Tuesday Jerry arrives and Friday Dan and family.  I don't know how mother will react but I do know she will be aware and will have deep feelings.  I bought a new car;  another one.  The Honda was only a year old and had but 6,400 miles.  I admired the engineering of it but never felt happy driving it.  So, in about 45 minutes of shopping I bought an Eagle Vision;  Chrylser product.  It is much roomier, more comfortable, peppier and filled with gadgets.  So far I'm very glad I bought it.  I will try to get mother in and go for a ride.  It seems strange to buy a car without her input;  mostly color wise.  I know she would like the Eagle.

September 11, 1995.  Two months of summer 1995 have passed.  No great change;  yesterday mother was very alert and reactive.  Tonight at Supper time she found it difficult to sit and eat.  She would bend over forward as far as possible, even putting a pillow in front of her didn't help.  After an hour of trying to feed her with little success I decided to put her in her recliner; recline it and then feed her.  It worked much better.  My fondness for the Eagle Vision grows.  I took a holiday.  Was gone from 9:00 A.M. to 9:00 P.M.  Drove through the area around Ephrata, then to Moses Lake and Yakima by way of the Interstate.  Came back from Yakima by way of the old road which followed the Yakima River to Ellensberg.  Then home by way of Blewett and an excellent prime rib dinner at the Roaster.  The next day parking in the Western Market a man in a pick up backed in to the Vision;  $2100 damage.  His insurance company, Farmers, sent me the check for complete coverage before the body work was even completed.  They also provided a rental car for the period.  Cascade did a fine repair job;  looks like new.