Was my face Red, - - umm, - -er, - -make that Brown!
I remember the first fly-in I attended, way back when R. Reagan was a pup. Oh shucks!- - - I'm not that old, maybe it was some other pup I'm thinking of. Anyway, it was the early fifties, maybe the mid fifties. Must have been spring because it was still pretty cool at night. I had been bumming around airports in Wyoming and Montana looking for some flying work, and I happened to meet an old army buddy who owned a dairy farm. It turned out that he did a lot of commuting back and forth for his business, in a Stintson Reliant. It had been some army big-shot's plane during the war and was in pretty nice shape.
Well; Clancy, that's the dairyman's name, was in a bar in Rawlins, Wyoming when I happened to go in to quench my thirst. Well now, we were so surprised and glad to see each other we shook hands, slapped each other on the backs, called each other so-and-so's, and sat down and had a few beers. We reminisced about the good and bad times we had in the Army Air Corps and he kept buying the beer. I can't recall much after the first six or seven hours but, the next morning I woke up in bed with a bad, bad, bad hangover. My mouth felt like I'd slept under a goat all night. I lay in bed trying to figure what day it was, and trying to get the cobwebs out of my head. I looked around after a bit but couldn't figure out where I was. Someone's home I guessed, because you didn't find bedrooms like this in hotels. I figured maybe it was Clancy's house, but I sure didn't remember getting there.
When I couldn't stand it anymore I got up and found the bathroom. Then I got dressed and headed for the coffee smell downstairs. I found the kitchen with my nose and looking like some kind of derelict I opened the door and peeked in, hoping to find someone I knew. What I found was a pretty lady at the stove, cooking breakfast. When the door opened she turned to look at me and said:
'Come sit and have some coffee, breakfast will be ready in a few minutes.'
I didn't know the nice lady but right away I liked her. Sitting down at the table I told her who I was and that I sure was sorry for being such a bother. She began to tell me;
'It's no bother! Clancy's getting things ready and we'll be leaving in half an hour.
He wants to get there before it starts to rain.'
She handed me a cup of coffee as she said this and I eagerly sipped the hot brew, trying to make sense out what she was going on about. Just then I heard footsteps on the kitchen porch and I saw Clancy coming in through the opened door. I grinned at him, half-heartedly, my head felt like a growl, but better manners said grin. So I grinned. Clancy grinned back and sat down to his coffee. Reaching over he slapped me on the back, saying,
'Well, that was some night, last night, wasn't it?'
The slap on the back made me cough up a nose full of coffee, and my head felt like it was rolling on the floor. I grimaced and said, after making sure my head was still on my shoulders,
'Must have been, tell me about it.'
He preceded to talk, between mouthfuls of the hot-cakes the lady was serving, and I tried my darndest to listen and look like I knew what he was talking about. I didn't feel much like eating just then but Clancy insisted, so I ate a couple of hot-cakes. All the while, the nice lady served and fussed over us, then sat down to eat also. I was wishing I could remember if we'd been introduced, but Clancy kept on eating and talking away like he always did. Finally the low rumbling in my head cleared a bit and I asked Clancy,
'Who's the pretty lady?'
Clancy said,
'Heck! That's right, she was asleep in bed when we came home.
This is my bride, Mary Ann.'
Being introduced finally we looked at each other and smiled hellos. Meanwhile, Clancy kept on his talking and I began to get the idea we were going to go somewhere, in his Reliant. I didn't remember anything from last night, so it was news to me. But not having any other plans I figured 'What the heck!'
After we finished breakfast Clancy told me to go with him to the barn, for the sleeping bags. 'Ahuh!' I thought to myself, 'we're staying overnight!' My brain was beginning to come alive a bit more and the nagging question getting the best of me I said, 'Clancy, where the heck are we going?' He stopped, turned around slow like, cocked his head at me, and said,
'You must have drank a bit more than I remember last night.
Hells-bells, we talked about this trip half the night.'
I nodded my head at him and said,
'Hey! I'm ready-for-Freddie, but, where are we going?'
He snorted a laugh, as he turned for the barn again and said,
'We're going to Rapid City, South Dakota, to a fly-in.'
I'd never been to a fly-in before, and on the way to the barn he filled me in on the plans we'd made last night. When we got to the barn I couldn't see a thing inside, until we swung open the wide barn doors. Sitting there pretty as you please was Clancy's Reliant. I looked around and then noticed the wheel tracks leading around the barn and out onto a pasture. The pasture was full of browsing cows. It was plenty big enough for the bird, but I wondered how he'd take off through that herd. We found the sleeping bags in a storage bin and put them in the baggage compartment. Then Mary Ann came out carrying a picnic basket and thermos, which she put on the back seat. Calling a couple of his hired-hands we pulled the big ole bird out of the barn and crawled in. Firing up that round engine Clancy let it idle, while he leaned out the door and yelled at one of the men. The guy whistled and pretty soon a collie came loping around the barn. The man made a motion with his hand and the dog ran off towards the meadow, chasing the cows this way and that. In no time at all the dog cleared the upper half of the meadow and Clancy eased in the throttle and got the plane rolling towards the pasture.
Lining up he gave it full-throttle and we shot ahead, bouncing over ruts and small gullies. As the tail
came up I leaned out the open rear window to take a farewell look at the farm. It was then that the tire
on my side picked up a wet cow-chip and slammed me along-side the head. Well now! If that cow-pie
had of been dry it probably would of killed me, but being fresh all it did was startle me. I let out a big
yell, (I still had my voice in those days) and banged my head yanking it back inside. Mary Ann turned
to see what the commotion was about, took a long disbelieving look at me, and busted out with a rip
roaring laugh. Tugging at Clancy's sleeve she tried to tell him to stop the plane, but she had difficulty in
getting anything out of her mouth but laughter. Anyway, it was too late then, because the bird was off
and flying.
Meanwhile, I struggled to clear wet cow dung from my eyes, so that I could see (I'm glad I had my mouth closed). When
Clancy had it leveled off and under control he turned around to see what was making Mary Ann so
hysterical. It was his turn for a long, slow look. When it dawned on him that the stuff covering my head
and face was cow manure he about wrecked the plane before getting himself under control also. Shaking
his head and laughing all the while, Clancy made a u-turn and landed. Later, while taking a shower, and
trying to ignore the laughter from downstairs, I started feeling a lot better. I knew that with my luck
there'd be other things to laugh at, or cry about, but I wasn't about to let a face-full of fresh cow-poop spoil
my very first fly-in!