Roots & Wings: My story so far
An adoption reunion
The story should begin a long time ago...say, at my birth on July 8, 1968 in Ohio. But the story really began
when I was 6, and found out that I was adopted.... It was never a "dirty secret" and I never really thought about
it all that much. I knew that I had another family out there somewhere, and I wished them well. I never felt "less than"
and never really wanted to search. I'd been under the impression that I had a younger brother, although this was never
confirmed. I thought that one day I'd search for him, but never thought about looking for any other family. I always thought
it to be pretty funny when friends would ask, "Well, aren't you curious?" because the answer was "No." I never needed to
know from whose genes I received my blue eyes or slight dimple. Biology doesn't make a family....time, experience and love do.
Fast forward to the late 1980's. I graduated high school in 1986 and had moved into Broward County, Florida to live with
my aunt & uncle (who are like "Mom" and "Dad" to me). While they never encouraged or discouraged me in either direction,
my aunt made a comment one day about my sibling. I began to seriously consider looking for him. But I didn't have much information,
and wasn't really keeping in touch with my adoptive parents. So, after a few unsuccessful months, I just assumed it wasn't meant to be.
Oh, but it was. In November 1992, I gave birth to my son, and when my ex husband's family announced he looked just like the ex, I felt a little
upset, because I had no way to know. The youngest picture of me I'd ever seen was when I was 18 months old. At the point, I DID want to see what
I looked like as a baby, and I wanted some medical information...but that burning desire was never really there. Of course, NOW I know my son looks
exactly like me. :-) But a seed was planted....
I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in 1996 and received a Patriarchal blessing soon after. This
very special blessing mentioned the importance of genealogical work, especially to my "family of birth." It also mentioned that an angel would guide me as I sought
to do the Lord's work for my family. Another seed was planted.... At the end of May 1999, I was on the internet attempting to search genealogical
records for information on my adoptive father's lineage. Nothing was working and I was getting frustrated. I felt impressed to go re-read my Patriarchal blessing, and that is when
I realized "family of birth" referred to my biological family. I'd not made the connection before that night. The seeds I'd planted in my heart were taking root.
On May 29th, I went online into the Volunteer Search Network and linked up with a woman named "Jan" (who, interestingly, went by the
screen name "Angel"). Within 24 hours, we knew my birth mother's last name, my "real" name...and the name of an older sister. There had never been a younger brother, but
I had a sister! And having been the older sister (to a younger brother in my adoptive family), it was especially intriguing to know I was really the younger of two.
The very next day, I wrote to a relative (he turned out to be my cousin...and a friendly one at that!) who gave my information to his mom. And she (my Aunt Louise) said the words I will never
forget: "I really think you are my sister's daughter." Within a few hours, I was on the phone with my birth mother. The next day, I called my birth sister, who had also been adopted.
She and I soon exchanged pictures and realized that we had a strong resemblance to one another. One of her children looks like he could my son's younger brother! While she has chosen not
to maintain contact with other members of our birth family, she and I communicate via telephone and write to each other frequently. And sometime this year or next summer, my family will go visit
them at their home.
Since the initial contact with my birth mother, I have found out many details about the circumstances of our adoptions. While those details are too personal to print here, they do give
me answers to many of my questions. I write my Aunt Shirley very frequently and still maintain contact with my birth mother and other relatives. I have not yet made contact with my birth
father and am not certain if or when that event will occur. But I have found out medical information....I have received answers to questions....and I have realized that there is a whole new
family out there waiting to love and be loved. My adoptive aunt and uncle are happy for me. My husband is delighted. It was meant to happen at this time and I am grateful that I was able
to follow the Spirit's promptings.
There are two gifts we can give our children: roots and wings. Having found the roots of my past, I am ready to fly.
***December 1999 Update*** In late November, I was able to locate my birth father, who has remarried and has FOUR sons. I just sent him a packet of pictures and a letter and look forward to receiving more information. The circle has been completed.
Adoption Links & Information
International Soundex Reunion Registry...a free registry for adoptees
Voices of adoption
Comprehensive list of adoption links
Adoptees' Internet Mailing List...a supportive email list
A great list with many different perspectives