"That's an excellent ashtray, Dave, where'd ya get it?" Alex asks politely.
"Oh, that ugly thing?"
"It's not ugly, it's elegant; with an enjoyable color arrangement - the blotches of brown,the spots of tan, the patches of white." Alex explains.
"You forgot two colors."
Alex examines the ashtray menacingly.
"Which color did I miss?" Alex sputters.
"Black and grey, the colors that stick out"
"There's no black and grey in this ashtray!" Alex exclaimed.
"Not in - on."
"Ugh!?" grunted Alex.
"The ashes, Alex, the ashes."
"They're not part of the ashtray." Alex replies.
"I don't know an ashtray that doesn't have them. It's also part of the name, Alex."
"Well, now that ya mention it, the ashes kinda ruin the ashtray." Alex snobbily confesses.
"Why? Because they're dead in the middle?"
"Um" Alex fumbles.
"Because you're dead in the middle?"
"Wha...? Alex panics.
"I don't smoke, Alex, why do you suppose there are ashes in my ashtray? Better question, Alex, why do I even have an ashtray?"
"I don't know, I really don't know." Alex responds with fear in his voice.
"Did you watch the news this morning, Alex."
"I caught most of it, why?" answers Alex.
"Marlboro's president and CEO was kidnaped today."
"Oh, and this has to do with anything...how?" Alex wants to know.
"The smell of burning flesh is almost as nauseating as the smell of second-hand smoke."
"What the hell!?" Alex shouts.
"Calm yourself, Alex."
"Fuck that, I'm out of here, man. You're a freak." says Alex, thoroughly scared.
"Wait, the ashtray represents something"
Curious as ever, Alex reluctantly sits back down.
"When you smoke too much, your lungs get blotches of brown, patches of white, and spots of tan."
"Okay." Alex plays along.
"When you die from lung cancer though, you're completely black and grey."
"So." Alex spirts impatiently.
"You smoke, right?"
"Yeah, I do" Alex says with blatant attitude.
"You'll end up like this someday, Alex."
"Yeah right, later weirdo, have a nice life." Alex says after getting up and walking toward the door.
"Oh Alex."
"What?" Alex turns his head for the last time.
"Gotta light?"
E-mail Dave.
