Old Mother Hubbard

She went to the baker's
To buy him some bread,
But when she came back,
The poor dog was dead.
(He recovers fast. And why is the dog poor, but not the lady? Answer me that!)

She went to the fruiter's
To buy him some fruit,
But when she came back,
He was playing the flute.
(Fruiter's? Why did she buy him fruit if he was dead? She said he was. I told you he recovered quick. I'd guess he's probably having trouble with that flute.)

She went to the fishmonger's
To buy him some fish,
But when she came back
He was licking the dish.
(Fishmonger's? Why was he licking the dish if there was nothing on it?)

She went to the barber's
To buy him a wig,
But when she came back
He was dancing a jig.
(She should stop going places. Whenever she comes back from some weird place, or from getting something weird, the dog is always doing something weird. And why does he need a wig?)

She went to the cobbler's
To buy him some shoes,
But when she came back,
He was reading the news.
(I told her to stop going places. The dog doesn't need shoes anyways. Dogs can't read at all, let alone the newspaper. Some people just never learn.)

She went to the tailor's
To buy him a coat,
But when she came back
He was riding a goat.
(He doesn't need a coat. He must be Wonderdog to be able to ride a goat and play the flute and other things of that sort.)

The dame made a curtsy,
The dog made a bow,
The dame said, "Your servant."
The dog said, "Bow-wow."
(Why is the dumb lady going to be Wonderdog's servant? How can he take a bow? What kind of children's poem is this? Do we not monitor what our children read? Oh, the world is a sad, sad place.)