The Three Little Kittens

"Lost your mittens!
You naughty kittens.
Then you shall have no pie."
And the three little kittens said, "Like we care. Your cooking tastes like worms. It's cold out here!"

The three little kittens found thier mittens
And they began to scream their heads off.
"Yes! We don't have to freeze!"

"Put on your mittens,
You stupid kittens
And you shall have some pie."
"Hang on a second, can we talk about this? We won't freeze, so we want to play outside, your cooking tastes like worms, and why do we eat with our mittens on? Take a reality check, and then a cooking class, ok? Learn how to bake chocolate chip cookies instead of worm pies all the time. Oh yeah, don't call us stupid, or we'll sue your ass."

The three little kittens put on thier mittens
And soon threw up the pie.
"Yo mom! We got food poisioning!"

"Did you soil your mittens?
You naughty kittens."
Then they began to scream their heads off again.
"Why do you keep talking in rhyme? It's annoying. Stop. And our mittens only have throw up all over them. It'll wash out. If not, we can knock the cat out with the smell and get some new mittens. I told you we shouldn't have eaten with them on. Now, if you'll excuse me, you have a scrubbing job to do, and I have to spew. See? I can talk in rhyme too! Hey, I'm a poet and I don't know it."

Then the mother kitten washed the mittens
And hung them up to dry.
"Oh look, see here
Do you not hear?
Your mittens have come clean!"
"Great. I think it ws that new odor remover and that stain remover mixed together."

"Oh, you're such good little kittens
For mixing something to wash your mittens,
But I smell a rat close by."
"Yes! Some real food... oh, nevermind. That's just the barf from the cockroach. I warned him not to eat that pie. Oh well. Some things just never learn."
"More pie?"
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"