Kristen

Kristen's got a rasta pal
That looks remarkably like Hal
Or maybe his name was Ted or Ned...
Well, whatever it was, he's dead.
Kristen likes monkeys and apes
And she gapes at ones that wear capes
J-h-o-n *Sauceda* ((hand flourish)) likes monkeys too
And he's got a silly pet named Roo.
I had to add that verse because, you see
Kristen's got no elbows or knees
In fact, out of her shoulders come her hands
You have to wonder how she plays in bands
Kristen, if the hurricane destroys you
Or if you die homeless because no one employed you
Give or sell to me your stuff
And a jar or marshmallow fluff
Kristen, you make me laugh
Often because you're daft
And sometimes when you get "board"
You shout out a lion-like roar
It comes out as more of a grr
And you don't really have any fur
So we can easily tell you're not a lion
And your mom, in the kitchen, has eggs that are s'reiden
Your mom thinks it's sultry, no matter the weather
She also thinks you look familiar and that you have feathers
Actually, she probably does not
While your dad, in the other room, does pot
Not really, this poem is only a joke
Hey, did you knoww eggs have yellow yolk?
I bet you didn't, but you're still bitchin'
And as you know, my dear, they call you Kristen
The End
RIDE THE WHITE HORSE!

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