24 July 1999

This is what I told Bro Splitfoot about it:

Yo, Bro!

Yes, we’re back! This year’s Laconia event was less than luminous for me also! Because of my boys’ school schedule, I didn’t go up until Wednesday. I found Lizzard and Meg firmly encamped with their tiny tent. There was no one else! Lumpy was there in the beginning of the week but had left already. Uncle T was at the races, as was Peddler and crew. I did finally get to meet Ogar, but he seemed preoccupied and distant. Perhaps that is because he is also a defector to the religious right, along with Peddler. The weather was fabulous and I managed to set up my tent all by myself! Lizzard and Meg were standing by to give me a hand but, since I had all the time in the world, I planned each move out in my head and ever so slowly set up camp. I was quite pleased with myself that I could do it all alone, although setting up the tent is really meant to be a two-man chore.

My 12’ diameter tent seemed cavernous and palatial compared to their tiny hovel. Since I didn’t have to share it with Willy, it only contained my bunk (14" off the floor), my portable flush toilet, and a very comfortable folding arm chair complete with footstool. There were two electrified Coleman lanterns and the whole set-up felt quite homey! I treated the lizzards to dinner and spent a VERY COLD night. I awoke about 2:30 AM and my toes felt frozen! After the sun came up, it turned out to be a gorgeous day! Lizzard and Meg had to drive into Manchester and get something they had forgotten. Uncle T and Jeannie stopped by on their way to Weirs Beach. He seemed quite fit, although Jeannie confides that not all is as smooth as he would let on. She said he dumped a bike twice in the previous week and that he just hasn’t regained the upper body strength he needs to properly wrangle motorcycles!

Anyway, I decided to drive into nearby Meredith and take the scenic train (at $10 a pop!) into Laconia. Weirs Beach was closed to automobile traffic and was teeming with thousands of bikes! I spent hours literally walking my ass off! A few problems surfaced! Seems that the support hose I am now sentenced to wear for life had rolled up a bit as I put on my boot. In time, this created a nasty, almost bloody, welt-like blister practically circling the front part of my left foot. To that, add the normal (for me!) swelling of my extremities and my accident-related back problems, LOTS of sun and countless mosquito bites and by day’s end, I was truly among the walking (make that dragging myself along painfully with my cane) wounded!

After treating myself to a well-deserved dinner, I dragged myself back to my tent. His Worthiness and spouse weren’t back yet and I took a dump and rolled into bed as it was starting to rain. I briefly woke when I heard Lizz and Meg pull in. I told them through the closed tent that I wasn’t dressed and I’d brief them in the morning. I think it was only 9:00 PM when I went back to sleep! I next awoke to the sound of driving rain drumming on my tent at about 12:30 AM! Old folks don’t need that much sleep anymore anyway, so I stayed awake with my brain cells about fully recharged! My BODY wasn’t so cooperative! Every turn to the side was extremely painful! What a drag it is getting OLD! That goes double when one’s body has been battered, damaged, and abused! I realized that I would be physically useless the next few days and decided to pull up stakes at day break! Besides, I was having withdrawal symptoms from not being with Willy! The only problem which remained was the fact that I would not be able to pack up the wet tent! That solution came to me like an inspiration: I made a present of it to our Fearsome Leader! I am sure they enjoyed moving to the "big house" after I left! The remainder of the week saw more perfect weather, but it is still taking me some time to fully recuperate.

Of interest to our membership is the fact that decisions have been made to start collecting dues! There is just no way around it! In order for us to function, the wheels must be greased! The yearly dues will be minimal, only $20! You can work it out yourself as to how much that is per month; it is negligible. These dues will not go into effect until January 2000! If any bro has problems coming up with the full amount all at once, we can work out semi-annual, even quarterly payments! New Associate Members will need to come up with their yearly dues and patch fee, up front. Any members who wish to help the cause may at any time send us a donation!

See ya next issue. Grumpy