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Christian Humor ~ Page 2
~ Unexpected Visit From The Pastor ~ Rabbi & Pope Meeting ~ The Pope, Billy Graham and Oral Roberts ~
Unexpected Visit From The Pastor
A new pastor moved into a town and he went out one Saturday to visit the parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home but no one answered the door. The pastor finally gave up and left his card with "Revelation 3:20" written on the back.
The following day the pastor counted the offering. His card was returned with "Genesis 3:10" written on it.
Revelation 3:20 "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."
Genesis 3:10 "He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."
Rabbi & Pope Meeting
The Rabbi notices an unusually fancy phone on a side table in the Pope's private chambers.
"What is that phone for?" he asks the pontiff.
"It's my direct line to the Lord."
The Rabbi is skeptical, and the Pope notices. The Holy Father insists the Rabbi try it out, and, indeed, he is connected to the Lord.
The Rabbi holds a lengthy discussion with Him. After hanging up the Rabbi says, "Thank you very much. This is great! But listen, I want to pay for my phone charges."
The Pope, of course, refuses, but the Rabbi is steadfast and finally, the pontiff gives in. He checks the counter on the phone and says, "Alright! The charges were 100,000 Lira" ($56).
The Chief Rabbi gladly hands over the payment.
A few months later, the Pope is in Jerusalem on an official visit. In the Chief Rabbi's chambers, he sees a phone identical to his and learns it also is a direct line to the Lord. The Pope remembers he has an urgent matter that requires divine consultation and asks if he can use the Rabbi's phone. The Rabbi gladly agrees, hands him the phone, and the Pope chats away.
After hanging up, the Pope offers to pay for the phone charges. Of course, the Chief Rabbi refuses to accept payment.
After the Pope insists, the Rabbi relents and looks on the phone counter and says,"1 Shekel 50" ($0.42).
The Pope looks surprised, "Why so cheap?!"
The Rabbi smiles, "Local call."
The Pope, Billy Graham and Oral Roberts
The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way plane crash over the Atlantic Ocean. Tragically, they all died and went to the pearly gates together."Oh, this is terrible," exclaims St. Peter, "I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those coincidences that happen. St. Peter was fretting, "Since we weren't expecting you, your quarters just aren't ready. We can't take you in just yet and we can't send you back."
Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, "Lucifer, this is Pete. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They're ours, but we weren't expecting them, and we gotta fix the place up for 'em. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It'll only be a couple of days. I'll owe you one."
Reluctantly, the Devil agreed. BUT..... Two days later...
"Pete, this is Lucifer. Hey you gotta come get these three clowns. This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody, the Graham guy is saving everybody, and that Oral Roberts has raised enough money to buy air conditioning.
