Prudence Madeline Dufresne

Mom and I went to Bingo every Monday night and Saturday morning. I still go to Bingo on Monday nights, and to this day no one ever sits in her spot. We still open up her chair just as if she was still with us playing Bingo and griping because the caller didn’t call her number.

Mom use to call me and say “Hey I have nothing to do, so why don’t you go and get some material and I will make you some new clothes for work”. The next day I would bring her the stuff, and darn didn’t she call me the next night and tell me to come and try on an outfit.

I remember once, when I was asked out to a dance at the last minute and didn’t have a formal dress for the dance, mom went to the store to get the material and started working on it right away. Mom even stay up most of the night to finish it, so that I would have it for the next night.

When Dad left her she moved in with me in Virginia, resided with me for about 9 months, then she moved in with my brother. We got to spend a lot of time together. When Mom was having her Chemo treatments I would bring her some lunch, she always wanted me to stop at Burger King. She loved it when I sat there with her, this way it took her mind off of her Chemo.

I love and miss my Mom dearly. I miss calling her every day, and she calling me. But she will always be with me.

My brother John and sister Pauline, use to tease me saying that I was not really their sister. They jokingly told me that one year, while on vacation at the beach, my mother had heard a baby crying, she followed the sound until she found the baby wrapped in a blanket, left behind some rocks. The story was, that my mother felt so sorry for the baby that she took the baby home with her and raised it as her own. I was supposedly that baby. Well being the tender young age that I was, I went crying to my mother and told her what Pauline and John had said. (Chuckling) I can still remember that neither of them could sit comfortably for a while after that. Mom then sat down with me, and explained that far from that story, I was truly hers. You see, mom had lost a baby before I was born. When she found out she was pregnant again, she went to the doctors, the doctor warned her against keeping the baby, as it would put her life and the life of the baby in danger. Moms’ response was “The good Lord gave me this miracle, I will trust in the good Lord, to see me and the baby through this”. I was born prematurely, and because of this, my mother didn’t think I had made it, so when the nurse came to my mother and asked her if she had seen her beautiful little baby girl, my mother had told her she didn’t have a baby. Mom was very pleased to learn that she did in fact have a baby girl.

When I was very young, mom was very protective of me, I was HER baby an none others. Wherever mom went, baby went with her.

Moms’ mother died when my mother was only 4 years old. Because he had 10 children, 6 boys and 4 girls, my grandfather felt it would be better if the girls were in the orphanage. So my mother and her sisters were raise in the local Catholic orphanage, visiting with their father whenever they could.

The orphanage had kind of like a big sister program, where somebody from the community would take a child and do things with that child. Emma Dufresne, a local teenager, was assigned to my mother. She took my mother places, and even took her to her own home to spend time with her family. Hence, my mother met my father.

Mom was a very devout Catholic, and had a lot of faith in her God. Mom said that God does have a sense of humor also at times, to prove it, mom told me a story that happened to her. I will relate it now.

Mom was walking down the street, on the way to the dentist with my brother. Mom was very preoccupied, she had a lot on her mind. Money was tight, and bills needed paid. Mom was praying to God, asking him, that if he saw fit, could he please find a way to give her money. Mom happened to look down, and there on the sidewalk was a hundred-dollar bill. Only thing was, was that the hundred dollar bill was Monopoly money. Mom reached down, picked up the play money, raised it in the air, and while looking up said, “Ha Ha, very funny”! Mom then proceeded to tell me that God will give you what you ask for, but only if HE feels you really need it.

Mom loved to sew. I can remember people coming to the house, so mom could take their measurements to make something for them. She had her regular customers. When I was real young, mom made all my clothes. Even when I was a teen, mom still made some, of course I didn’t wear them as much, I hate to admit it, but I was embarrassed. I wanted to be like everyone else. I have to say, mom did understand, and did try to buy me my jeans, she would do extra sewing, to make money to buy what I thought I had to have. Mom was great that way.

When I hit the teenage years, mom and I had many a fight. I wanted to learn new ways, and questioned everything. The one bad thing, was that I question the one thing most dear to my mother, her religion.

Mom, I know that I was a trying teen, and I hurt you very badly, I know I talked to you about it just before you died, but I can’t help but feel guilty. I am very sorry mom. I love you and miss you very, very much.

When I had my son, I was alone and had nothing. I went home for Christmas, when Bryan was 2 months old. Mom saw that I didn’t have very much, she took all the money she had, and we went out shopping. Mom bought all kinds of little sleepers and outfits for Bryan. Mom would have taken the shirt off her back, if she felt somebody needed it more than she did. I don’t think I ever let her know, how much I really appreciated all that she did for my son and me. Being a mother myself, I know deep down, that Mom Knew - Mom Always Knew!

Hi there, this weekend 14-15/2/99 marks 6 months since your death and I can still hear you and feel you around me all the time. You are still so much alive for me that I still think of picking up the phone and ringing you to talk to you. I hear your laughter when I laugh at times and it sends a shiver up my spine. I hear your voice when I talk to Aunt Jackie. I pick up your favourite comments coming from everyone around me & I laugh and say “Mum always said that” or sometimes I keep silent and a tear comes to my eye.

Mum, you where so much a part of my life, even though we were so far apart the last few years. I want to thank you for all you’ve done for me. I am who I am and where I am today because of your guidance and teaching me to reach for a dream. Whenever I had a big decision to make you always stood by me and supported me saying “Oh I wouldn’t do that if I was my age, BUT if I was your age I certainly would”! You were full of love and life and such a strong and positive influence in my life - you still are there guiding me. I talk to you everyday and although I don’t hear you cause you “don’t do ghosts” I still hear your voice telling me what you would if you were here.

We are so alike in so many ways that it scares me at times. Oh I hear the comments “you’re just like your mother” but you know what mum? I’m glad, cause you were one hell of a woman and people have to realise that you were very sick for many years before it was diagnosed. You were so misunderstood and the stories that would go on were harsh and cruel but I now realise it was only because those people where jealous of you and your strength. You were, are, a survivor and did all within your power to raise this bunch and you deserve to be called Saint Prudence!!! I hear someone did say that you were a Saint! Well, I think they were right! A Saint has to have miracles centred around them? Heck, look at us six kids, isn’t it a miracle we are still even alive??? Saint or no you are Mum to me and I am very proud to be your daughter.

Mum, I love you and miss your physical presence. Hey, how’s that flower garden up there?? You got any kangaroos? So many questions I wish you could answer, but you’ll be there when I get there & you can fill me in on everything! Have fun Mum you deserve the best!